Bon Qui qui at King Burger - Full Script!!

hey guys!! so.... I decided to put these 'script' of Bon Qui Qui at King Burger... have you heard of her??? She is really funny. She appears on mad tv. It's way hilarious, seriously. The character 'Bon Qui Qui' is played by Anjelah Johnson. OKay so hope you enjoyy!!! - Valeria :)
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Created by vale4356667 on Sunday, December 12, 2010


(Bon Qui Qui is at the register in King Burger, talking on her cell phone)

Bon Qui Qui (on phone): So Marcus was supposed to meet me yesterday and he didn't even show up. Girl I will cut him. Girl yes I will, remember last time alright when he had said he didn't hook up with Tracy...

(Customer 1 approaches the register)

Bon Qui Qui (on phone): ...girl I cut him. Oh yes I did girl!

Customer 1: Excuse me...

Bon Qui Qui (on phone): Yes I did! Yes I-

(sees Customer 1)

Bon Qui Qui: - Uuh, do you see me in the middle of a conversation? Don't interrupt. Rude.

Bon Qui Qui: Girl I'm gonna have to call you back.

(Bon Qui Qui hangs up the phone)

Bon Qui Qui: Welcome to King Burger, where we could do it your way...but don't get crazy.

Customer 1: Sorry... can I get a number 6 with a cookies 'n' cream milkshake?

Bon Qui Qui: (groans). You sure you don't just want a Coke?

Customer 1: ...Pardon?

Bon Qui Qui: Now I gotta get the ice cream out, gotta get all the cookies in it, I don't even know how to use that blender - I gotta be pressin' all these crazy buttons...no. You could have a coke. (on the loudspeaker) Lemme get a #6 with a large coke. Next.

Customer 2: Hi, I'll have a #3 with no cheese, no tomato, and no lettuce.

Bon Qui Qui: Dang, anything else?! [on loudspeaker] I got a complicated order. (glares at the customer). Lemme get a #3 with no cheese, no tomato...

Customer 2: Wait, wait, wait - I'm sorry, I...

Bon Qui Qui: Um, excuse me, sir. You see me trying to put in my order? Don't interrupt. Rude. (on the loudspeaker) ...and no lettuce. That's it. (to customer) What?

Customer 2: I changed my mind about the cheese.

Bon Qui Qui: Oh, now you want some cheese?

Customer 2: Yes!

Bon Qui Qui: You see me putting in the order. Why didn't you say nothing in the first place?

Customer 2: I tried to, but...

Bon Qui Qui: Uh-uh! No, sir! Don't get loud with me sir, do NOT get loud with me! Oh no! SAKURITY!!, security, this dude needs to go.Needs to go.

Mr. Williams: Bon Qui Qui...

Bon Qui Qui: Oh hey Mr. Williams. How you doing today, sir?

Mr. Williams: I've had better days, Bon Qui Qui. This is the fifth time you've called security today. Now how many times I have to tell you, you cannot call security just because someone has a complicated order.

Bon Qui Qui: Is that what you had said?

Mr. Williams: Yes, that's what I had said.

Bon Qui Qui: Oh, ok...you right, Mr. Williams. My bad, i'm sorry. Next, please.

Customer 3: Hi, can I get a number five with a boneless skinless chicken that is slightly seasoned?

Bon Qui Qui: HAHA! No. Sakurity!! Sakurity!! (security!!), this chick needs to go. Needs to go.

Mr. Williams: Bon Qui Qui, what?

Bon Qui Qui: Sir, she was trying to fight me, sir.

Customer 3: No I wasn't!

Bon Qui Qui: I will CUT you.

Mr. Williams: I'm sorry, she's with our "out of the hood" program.

[Duayne (friend of Bon Qui Qui) enters the restaurant]

Bon Qui Qui: Oh, shoot...hey, Duayne!

Duayn: Hey, what's goin' on, Bon Qui Qui?

Bon Qui Qui: I didn't know you come here

Duayn: Yeah, I ain't on no house arrest no more.

Bon Qui Qui: Oh yeah? Ok, what you wanna order, boo?

Duayne: Lemme get a #3, and instead of fries, lemme have some onion rings.

Bon Qui Qui: Ok, that's all you want? I know what I want! Oooh! Lemme' put in your order.

(She starts beatboxing on the loudspeaker)

Bon Qui Qui: On the mic is a queen, now listen to me sing, he wants a number three and a super-sized onion rings.

(Duayne starts dancing)

.... beat boxing....

Bon Qui Qui: He could come out the house with no ankle bracelet on, but it's got two strikes so don't get his order wrong.

... beat boxing...

Bon Qui Qui: We know I'm really cute, and there's nothing you can say, but if you get with me we can do it your way! Haaaay!!

(Bon Qui Qui dances with Duayne)

Customer 1: Can I get some ketchup...? I need ketchup...

Customer 2: Yeah, I never even got a sandwich!

Mr. Williams: Bon Qui Qui!

Bon Qui Qui: Sakurity!! (security!!!)

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