Dear Mom and Dad, this is a note from the heart.
I really hope you don’t just tear it apart.
Like you did with my grades.
As your smile fades.
Or you did with my heart.
When your feuds would start.
Mama, I’m sorry I mad you mad.
You would simply never know how sad…
How sad it made me that I was worthless.
That all my tasks were just a mess.
I’m sorry I failed you.
But what more could I do?
It was always your warmth I would seek.
But I didn’t receive it because I was “Mama’s little freak.”
I’m sorry I couldn’t be normal.
I’m sorry I wanted to wear Converse to the school formal.
I’m sorry I yelled when you dissed my favorite band.
And I’m sorry for wanting a place to stand.
I’m sorry for the pain I caused.
And my cutting that would never pause.
Most of all, what I’m sorry for is being me.
Not the perfect daughter you wanted to see.
Dad, I’m sorry I never opened up.
I’m so sorry I’m such an awful fuck.
I could never make you understand.
That I was already damned.
You tried to save my soul.
Stuck my heart upon a pole.
Told me to be normal.
And not to wear black to a school formal.
I’m sorry you hated the music I listened to.
And all those stupid things I do.
Like wanting a cat to call my own.
And talking to my friends on the phone.
I’m sorry I let Max die.
I’m sorry or all the lies.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be perfect.
That my birth was just a defect.
I hope you can forgive me.
For being everything you never wanted to see.
Mom and Dad, I hate when you fight.
When you scream at each other all through the night.
The crashes keep me up all night.
Until the dawn’s early light.
Your words sting like venom in my heart.
Every time you yell at me, it tears me apart.
I know I’m a failure and deserve to die.
But please know, the end is nigh.
I can’t fail you when I’m dead.
All my mistakes trapped in my head.
I’ll let you down on last time.
As I finish this pathetic rhyme.
From the kitchen I stole this silver knife.
And with it I will steal my life.
It seems the only thing I’m good at is hurting you.
So, Mom and Dad, I’m sorry if I do.