Mom, I’m sorry I was never there
I know that it appeared that I didn’t care
Am I still considered your daughter?
Or did things change after the slaughter?
After what I had seen,
The sight that was so obscene,
I had no idea how to keep going
When I couldn’t go a single day without knowing
What happened to them and never doing a thing.
It felt like I was living by a string.
Mom, I know its hard for you to bear,
But I’m sorry, I’m no longer here.
My body lays in the silent room.
You weren’t home to heed the loud boom.
Tell my friends I said good bye
And tell them I don’t want them to cry
What I did was for the best
It was time for me to lay in my eternal rest
Remind Dad and yourself that its not your fault
No, I wasn’t in an evil cult
I just felt misunderstood
And wasn’t living to the potential I could.
Mom, no matter how many places
I went, there were always traces
Of the blood.
Of the gun.
Of the murder all around.
My classmates falling to the ground
My heart’s insistent pound
As I waited for my turn.
I felt my stomach churn.
But then the door burst open
And the men were shot with no words spoken.
I’m sorry, Mom, but now I’m done.
No matter what happened I never would have won.
Mom, I love you more than I can say
And know that I wish I could stay
But I should have died with all the rest
So I pulled a shotgun to my chest
And now I’m lying on the floor
My blood flowing and trailing to the door.
This is how it was supposed to be
I’m sure the others that died would agree.
No I don’t regret
I just hope I didn’t make anyone upset
Mom, I love you and I will say no more.