Alive but Dead Inside

this is a poem that just reflects how i have been feeling and all the crazy shit going on. if you know me, then you might know what this is about but even then, i don't tell everything behind my smile.
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Created by XXXAFINEMESSXX on Saturday, October 09, 2010

I laugh and I smile,
My face is an eternal mask,
That is built to hide all the pain,
And happiness all the while.

I am here, I am walking,
I am smiling, I am talking,
But no one hears the words that I am saying,
Because no one cares about what I am feeling.

I'm mad and I am sad,
I do have my issues.
But when there is a friend in need,
I try to help them first indeed.

I'm a ghost to everyone,
Including myself.
I always want to die,
But I am way too afraid.
Sometimes I wish,
That I was anyone but me,
I wish I could be,
A little bug you can squish.

I go by each day, in sorrow,
trying to convince myself,
That everytime I help someone,
I won'tbein thisHell tomorrow.

I hate this life,
I want it to end,
Just give me a knife,
And it will be done.

I am me,
that is all.
Life couldn't be,
Any worse than this close call.

I walk, I run,
I kiss, i shun.
I smile when I am sad,
Internally screaming when it goes bad.

I love you, I hate you,
I've felt it all,
I miss you, I need you,
I always fall.

I must go by trying to hide,
From everyone I see,
Because one day someone might see that
I'm maybe alive but I'm definitely dead inside.

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