If only you knew how much I love you

I wrote this a few years back, its for my ex bf, and this is how i felt at the time...but now i dont really care for him because he is a jerk and he makes promises and dont even keep them...but anyway i hope that you like the poem...

Created by squeakytin on Monday, May 12, 2008

I love you; I don’t think that that will love will ever go away, if only you knew, what effect I get from you.

I miss you, I miss what we used to have, what we used to be.

I am so mad at myself. I pushed you away, or you pushed me away, I was scared that I was going to lose you and look what happened.

It’s my loss I know, but why do I let it show its been nine months and I can’t stop thinking about you, missing you, missing what we had, and wishing for it all back.

Its torture to see you every day and not being able to look at you and say “Hey! I Love You!”

Every time I look at you I just want to cry…but I can’t… I can’t show you how much still love you because I don’t know if you feel the same.

I miss the things we used to do, all the memories of me and you in my mind all the time, I can’t stop thinking about them all, their all etched in my mind no matter how hard I try I can’t forget about them I can’t forget about you.

I feel so numb, and weak without you. All I want is to be with you but I know I can’t.

I am so wrapped up in the past I need to be free but I don’t think that will ever be.

I wish I could tell you all this but I don’t think that it will help…I know you don’t love me, or do you but you just don’t want to tell me?

We will never be together again all though I wish it with all my heart…it’s your decision and It’s not up to me.

I asked you out a while ago and all you said is “we will see we need to talk about it”…I have waited and I am still waiting to talk about it.

Will you ever be ready?

I want to be together again but will you ever dare to try again?

I guess not it seems to me you don’t want to be together again.

But if you do I will be waiting hopefully not long, but that’s up to you.

I guess I’m letting you know now how I feel… I know it might not help, and my heart might not always be able to heal but I just want you to know how I feel.

I guess you never know unless you try and here I am trying, trying not to cry and trying to let you know how much I love you.
~Squeakytin~

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