Why did I even take that road instead of our normal one?
Why....why....why?
That is all I can ask myself yet there is no answer.
There is nothing I can do to reverse the flow of time.
I don't think I could go through it again even if it was to save you from your fate.
I look back at the knife laughing at me.
I lay on my back listening to my music as I start to think.
The knife lies.
I am not weak as it believes.
I have a strength that no one could possibly understand.
I can't take my life away like that.
What good will it do?
I can imagian the pain it would cause.
For my husband.
For my father.
For my sister.
For my family.
I close my eyes and start to sing softly with the song playing.
Something random from one of my assorted cd's.
The cd fits my mood though.
Dark and confused.
I slowly drift to sleep as the last of my tears make their way down my cheek to the pillow beneith my head.
One day....maybe...the knife's call will win.
Yet until then, I have to keep strong for my own sake.
If not........
