Darkness

On the outside, I'm simply the overweight serious bookworm. Get to know me and you'll only discover meaningless facts. Yet, under all those layers of fake happiness and creativity lies a darkness. It consumes me, sucking away all those happy feelings-leaving only self haterd and despair. You all think I don't care about my weight, don't you? Everyday, you see me with a meaningless smile etched on my face. On the inside, I'm dying. I long hopelessly for that hour glass figure. I try not to eat-it's my daily battle. Everytime I fail, with not even a battle scar to show. Why can't you see the darkness? Sometimes I wonder, why not die now? Why not be erased from this world- like a stain that wasn't meant to be? That darlings, is the darkness in me. Who knows where I'll be next year? Six feet under, still dying, or getting my wish? Will I be a perfect figurine or a mistake?