Since I Knew He Was Dead

I laid my head on his pillow, and imagined his heart beat.
I hummed along with the rhythm; the melody so sweet.
"He's really, truly gone..." is all that I could say,
then I brushed my hand along where my head did lay.
For a moment I thought I felt him; his breath matching mine.
But a feather-stuffed pillow was all that I could find.
I sat up and shook my head in my mourning of him,
and I questioned with all of honesty how I could ever live.
I rubbed my aching forehead; I wouldn't sleep again,
I haven't slept a full night since I knew he was dead.
I closed my eyes and sat there, now weeping of my fears.
I slowly found the strength to wipe away my tears.
My one and only was gone...never again could I feel his touch.
I missed his soft hands, but mostly his tender love.
I laid down again to sleep, but it was only in vain,
As I only had somber nightmares of how he was slain.
I awoke the next morning, thinking it was a dream,
Never did he go away, never did he leave.
I felt around and suddenly I remembered once again...
This is the first night I slept since I knew he was dead.