What Kind of Ex-Pat are you

Take the What Kind of Ex-Pat are you quiz.

It's 8 AM on a Sunday morning. Your Chinese supervisor calls you up to tell you that you have to give an important presentation/Your Waiban tells you that you have to give an unscheduled class, in 40 minutes.

Sod him, your going to stay in bed. Make some lame excuse and go back to sleep You signed the contract, it's your duty. Get up and Wing it. You've been in China long enough to know that you should always have two or three presentations/classes on file for such an emer It's my weekend, why the %^&* should I get out of bed. Blast the poor guy with an earful of abuse. This would never happen in Japan. Tell him so/ It's just as bad as in Japan. Tell him so You don't really like it, but you know that you have to do it. Politely remind the guy that 'most foreigners don't like this kin You were expecting it, you're already up, dressed and have the class/presentation on the table ready for the giving. You even pr You're the one making the call..... To a foreigner whose just gotten off of a 14 hour flight from Miami.

A Chinese tries to practice his English with you, but mistakes for somebody from a country that you dislike.

Correct him, politely but feel offended and let down by the fact that the guy didn't know. Let it go, at least he's trying You don't want to make him loose face, so you show of your Chinese by complimenting his English. Accept it, correct him if you like. If he's open minded, try to open his mind further. If he's not, try to correct his misconcep Start a polite conversation, if he's open minded, let the conversation flow, if he's not, feign ignorance and ask him a REALLY m Compliment his English and then begin a long conversation in fluent Mandarin, but being careful to always change the subject if Compliment his English and then begin a long conversation in fluent Mandarin. If it looks like it is approaching anything touchy Dumb, ignorant uncivilised Chinese, how dare he. Sternly correct him. Proffer violence.

A Chinese colleague/student, who you vaguely know but are not on close terms with, starts talking to you about this problem that they have. Suddenly, you realize that they are 'coming-out'

Sympathises with them, you are both alone. Strangers in a society that doesn't understand you. Sympathise with them and proffer some useful advice or words of encouragement Role your eyes and think "Again, why do they ALWAYS come out to me?" Then give them the telephone number of one of the 10 other Scream arrgg, a poof. Get away from me you slimly Asian freak-job, then proceed to pummel the guy with your fist. It doesn't matter whether you love or hate gays, or even if you are gay yourself. You've found an ally. Take careful notes while Sympathise with him and offer him some advice and reassure him that He isn't a freak, then write an article on your blog about h Lalalalalala, I'm not hearing this. There are no gays in China. You must 'destroy the Evidence'

You are in a restaurant and the guy at the next table spits on the floor, only just missing your foot. You are wearing open toe sandals.

Retch in your noodles. Turn up your nose, but say nothing You don't even notice Stupid $%^ing Chinese Barbarian. Return fire, into his dinner. Visibly turn up your nose and make a pointed comment to your companions. The write a snide blog entry when you get home, about h Ignore it, then write a sensible blog entry about how spitting is unhygienic, and how people in Beijing are campaigning to stop Pretend not to see it. If you don't look at it, it's not there. So what, you've already spat on his feet at least three times already.

You walk into town and see a store selling pirate western DVDs for 10 Yuan a pop, and you remember one of your friends telling you that all of the DVDs that this guy sold were quality pirates, not trashy camcorder jobbies.

You don't want to buy a pirate film, but it's been so long since you've heard an English voice that wasn't your own.... You use When in Rome ..... but only the ones that you would have seen in the theatre, had the censors allowed it. You've know the guy for so long that he delivers to your door. Stealing our %^&*ing movies, $%^&ing Chinese savage. You kick him in the nuts, but buy Memoirs of a Geisha from him, just to spi You believe that it's wrong, in fact you say that it's wrong, and you write a blog entry saying that it's wrong. However, you st You realize how much piracy is hurting China's image and its economy, but also that it's the only way that some guys can make en They're not pirates, the guy just took them out of the boxes to reduce the weight Ha, and the west said that China's economy wasn't free. Look at this loyal businessman, industriously working to make a living w

A Chinese, who you don't know, stands on the opposite side of the street from you, and shouts Huloooo

You burst into tears. It's the first English voice that you've heard in a week that wasn't repeating something that you'd just s Shout Hello back in either English or Chinese. Ignore them Think something rude and hurl a rock at their head Shout Hello back in Chinese, then write a blog entry that either explains how annoying it is, or is titled '101 things not to s Ignore them, then write a blog entry explaining why people do it, and how Ex-Pats feel about it. Shout Hello back in Chinese, then proceed to have a lengthy conversation with them using your Mandarin skills. He's obviously taking too much interest in foreigners. Maybe he's a separatist trying to make contact with wicked foreign elemen

You sit down to a meal with some Chinese friends, one of them asks 'Can you use chopsticks?'

Say 'no', and feel slightly frustrated that it was the tenth time that that particular person asked Say 'yes', but feel slightly frustrated that it was the tenth time that that particular person asked Say Yes, and remind said friend what you told them about not asking the last time that they asked It was a waitress who asked, you don't have any Chinese friends (Inserts chopsticks into friends rectum, in sheer frustration) Look panicked and reply 'of course I know how to use chopsticks, why wouldn't I? What are you implying?' Reply honestly, then give a five minute lecture on the evolution of the fork Glare at said friend intently until they catch fire You've already brought your own chopsticks out, they don't need to ask

An old man in the train station sneezes at you, what is your first thought.

Nonononon SAAAARS Nothing, you reach into your purse and fetch him a hanky Nothing, you anticipated his sneeze and ducked 'You foul %$^&ing Chinese savage', unhitch your undergarments and return the favor Nothing, you just look at him sternly, hand him a hanky, then you blog about how gross it was when you get home lalalalalala, That didn't happen and I'm not disgusted. I'm not going to give my self an antibiotic jab when I get home, or scru SEPARATIST. You will rot in Jail Nothing, you just hand him the hanky, then begin mentally composing a blog entry about SARS

It's green, it's oozing, it stinks, and it's on the steps outside your door. What do you do

Add to it using the contents of your stomach Yuck, Where's my mop and bucket? Yuck, Where's the janitor with HIS mop and bucket Rub the face of the next Chinese that you see in the ooze while cursing loudly Yuck, I must write a caustic blog entry about this Yuck, I must write a humors blog entry about this Lalalala, if I hold my breath, close my eyes, and walk to one side, it's almost like it isn't there Think 'This must be the work of a Foreigner'

A colleague comes up to you after a long day, slumps down in a chair, and proceeds to moan about a horrible class that wouldn't shut up/a horrible Chinese client who was taking backhanders left right and center, and was now suggesting that the next busines

Sigh, slump down in a chair in sympathy, begin reciting a similar story of your own, then burst into tears Sigh, tell them that that's just the way that things are in China, and suggest that you go out for a stiff drink with some other Hand them the bottle of scotch that you've been sipping from since the moment that you woke up in the morning and realised that Invite them for a drink, then spend the rest of the night loudly cursing all Chinese Agree whole heartedly, then spend the rest of the night loudly discussing the flaws in the Chinese system with them over a bottl Agree whole heartedly, once your out of earshot of your Chinese collages, then spend the rest of the night objectively discussin Lalalala, I can't hear you. China is perfect. How dare you, (shouted into hidden microphone) 'Guards, Take Him Away'

Your Chinese friend

I can't really remember their names, and I don't know much about them. I think they only hang around with me because I'm a forei Sure, I have a few Chinese Friends, some like me because I'm a foreigner, the rest are just really nice people. They're great, b I woke up this morning to find two Chinese girls in my bedroom, trying on my bras, and a Chinese boy in my living room, watching I only hang with other foreigners, and then only the ones from my own country. The only Chinese I know is my driver. I call him Sure, I have Chinese friends, I try to open their minds to new things, like democracy and freedom of speech. Then I blog about Sure, I have Chinese friends, I think that it's funny to feign innocence and ask them a mean questions that they can't answer wi All my friends are Chinese, foreigners don't really like me. Friends, I have no friends, only followers. Bwahahahah.

QuizillaImagine it. Create it. Share it.

It's 8 AM on a Sunday morning. Your Chinese supervisor calls you up to tell you that you have to give an important presentation/Your Waiban tells you that you have to give an unscheduled class, in 40 minutes.

A Chinese tries to practice his English with you, but mistakes for somebody from a country that you dislike.

A Chinese colleague/student, who you vaguely know but are not on close terms with, starts talking to you about this problem that they have. Suddenly, you realize that they are 'coming-out'

You are in a restaurant and the guy at the next table spits on the floor, only just missing your foot. You are wearing open toe sandals.

You walk into town and see a store selling pirate western DVDs for 10 Yuan a pop, and you remember one of your friends telling you that all of the DVDs that this guy sold were quality pirates, not trashy camcorder jobbies.

A Chinese, who you don't know, stands on the opposite side of the street from you, and shouts Huloooo

You sit down to a meal with some Chinese friends, one of them asks 'Can you use chopsticks?'

An old man in the train station sneezes at you, what is your first thought.

It's green, it's oozing, it stinks, and it's on the steps outside your door. What do you do

A colleague comes up to you after a long day, slumps down in a chair, and proceeds to moan about a horrible class that wouldn't shut up/a horrible Chinese client who was taking backhanders left right and center, and was now suggesting that the next busines

Your Chinese friend

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QuizillaImagine it. Create it. Share it.

What Kind of Ex-Pat are you

It's 8 AM on a Sunday morning. Your Chinese supervisor calls you up to tell you that you have to give an important presentation/Your Waiban tells you that you have to give an unscheduled class, in 40 minutes.

A Chinese tries to practice his English with you, but mistakes for somebody from a country that you dislike.

A Chinese colleague/student, who you vaguely know but are not on close terms with, starts talking to you about this problem that they have. Suddenly, you realize that they are 'coming-out'

You are in a restaurant and the guy at the next table spits on the floor, only just missing your foot. You are wearing open toe sandals.

You walk into town and see a store selling pirate western DVDs for 10 Yuan a pop, and you remember one of your friends telling you that all of the DVDs that this guy sold were quality pirates, not trashy camcorder jobbies.

A Chinese, who you don't know, stands on the opposite side of the street from you, and shouts Huloooo

You sit down to a meal with some Chinese friends, one of them asks 'Can you use chopsticks?'

An old man in the train station sneezes at you, what is your first thought.

It's green, it's oozing, it stinks, and it's on the steps outside your door. What do you do

A colleague comes up to you after a long day, slumps down in a chair, and proceeds to moan about a horrible class that wouldn't shut up/a horrible Chinese client who was taking backhanders left right and center, and was now suggesting that the next busines

Your Chinese friend

Link:

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About this Quiz

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Nickelodeon Kids and Family Websites

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