More Than I Can Take (Seto Kaiba one shot)

“I don’t know much I can take of this anymore!” I yelled furiously slamming my bedroom door.

“Then don’t, if you can’t just deal with it, then get out!” he yelled back slamming his door shut as well.

I slid down my door wall bursting into tears. Everything was falling apart all at once, and I just couldn’t handle it all. He was suppose to be the one to ease the pain, but now I’m just hurting more. We’re constantly fighting, and we can’t even get through a simple breakfast without him making some rude comment to me. We’re at the edge of breaking up, but it seems neither of us have the heart to do it and truthfully I didn’t want it to happen. I just hope it’s not to late for me to speak up, because I know just watching him walk away is going to be way to rough on me.

I was tired of it all, so I just decided to open some music on my laptop and just ease my mind. I didn’t need this kind of drama not now at all times. As I turned on my computer I forgot about my saved screen savers and saw they were pictures of Seto and I from when we first started dating. I smiled at it and how happy and in love I was with him. When he wasn’t with me, it was more than I could take, he was like the air I breathed, without him my life would just break. I was so confident in us, it felt like our love was invincible, acting like what we had couldn’t break, and now I can’t let that all wash away, because it’s more than I take.

I couldn’t let it just go, so I decided that if we wanted to make this work, I had to make that first move and communicate with him. I nervously walked towards his bedroom and remembered all the times we had in there. How I wasn’t afraid to waltz into his room and snuggle across the bed with his arms wrapped around me. I was reminiscing about our good times, and how he just loved making me smile, and now I’m afraid to merely knock on his door.

“Seto?” I said slowly opening his bedroom door.

“What is it?” he sternly said sitting in front of his computer doing paperwork for Kaiba Corp.

“I just want to talk to you Seto” I lightly said tears still streaming down my cheeks.

“I want to talk too” he said and rolled his chair over near his bed.

I sat down in front of him and I knew that this conversation was going to either make our relationship or break it. We got through a lot together and I knew that if we just tried a little harder, we could get through this as well.

“I think it’s best if we break up Kaylie” he said looking towards the floor.

He wasn’t even going to try to make it work with us. We got through a lot together and I knew that we could make it work, he just needed to have faith in us the way I did.

“How’d we come to this seto?” I said showing him my tears. I just wanted him to look me in the eye and talk to me.

“What was it that destroyed what we had? Our happiness? Where’d it all go?” I said voice full of sadness and anger. He couldn’t even look at me and it was killing me. I believed in us, in everything we had, and he’s willing to throw it all away now?

“How’d our love turn into this mess? Seto just talk to me!” I loudly said now standing in front of him.

“Kaylie, it’s over. We’re over, it‘s the best for us” he said standing up and pushing me out his bedroom door. I was bursting in tears and I couldn’t even believe what was happening.

“I’ll do anything to keep you by my side. Seto I need you in my life” I said practically screaming it to him.

He needed to understand how I feel about him, how I need him, I need there to still be an us.

“Seto please, when your not with me its more than I can take, your the air I breathe without an us I’d fade away. We’re suppose to be invincible, we told everyone that our love couldn’t break, I just can’t let you leave. Because it’s more than I can take” I said and he did the one thing that killed me more, he shut the door in front of my face.

I couldn’t believe what just had happened, we are broken up. Never in our life, in our 2 years of being together, have this ever occurred. We’d fight and get upset and maybe we just walk around in silence, but never has he just given up on us so easily. He was the one who believed in us first, he was the one that showed me what love was, he convinced me that what we had was real, so why am I the one begging him to hold on?

I ended up immediately packing up my stuff. Seto left a note saying that I could stay until I was ready to go, but I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t be in the place that brought us together, that we made love in and shared so many memories. Our first kiss, our first date everything occurred in this house, and staying in here was like holding onto that, and if I couldn’t be with him, I wasn’t going to stay in a place that was all about us. Everything about this house was symbolic to us, everything here was real, and I couldn’t take it. I love Seto and I can’t take it that he doesn’t love me back.

(Fast forward)

Its been 4 months since our break up and honestly, I still couldn’t handle it. I was a mess behind my smile, and my heart still ached behind all my happiness I tried to show. I convinced everyone that I was fine, that I could take it all, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t convince myself that I was over it because I wasn’t. I wasn’t even close to being over it, and I was fooling everyone with my fake smile and my fake happy-go-lucky personality, but underneath it all, I was hurting. My entire body throbbed for him, I still catch myself looking at his pictures, and I hear our song everywhere. My heart calls out to him everyday and all I want is for him to look back at me, and just say the words I long to hear at least once more.

I saw Joey and the other guys coming towards me, and I quickly hid my sadness. Joey smiled towards me and kissed me on the cheek since he has been my boyfriend for the past 2 months. I smiled towards him and leaned up to kiss him in the lips. Joey has been an amazing help towards me since Seto and I broke up. When I was wallowing for the first 2 months, he came over to my home everyday making sure that I wasn’t doing anything I would regret. He even brought over my favorite tube of ice cream because nothing stops a broken heart like chocolate and ice cream. He’s been so good to me, and I decided to give it a try with Joey. He makes me really happy, and we never fight. He’s sensitive and understanding towards my feelings, and he really cares about me, I was a lucky girl to be with someone as great and helpful as Joey.

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into an embrace and I hugged him back. As I hugged him I saw Seto standing by his locker merely a couple of yards from us and our eyes locked for a mere second. I was hugging my amazing boyfriend, but all I wanted was to be right besides Seto again. I closed my eyes and hugged Joey tighter and saw Seto walking away. After a quick kiss, I walked to my physics class. It was the subject Seto and I met in. I know it was a little cliché to say, but he was my lap partner and the moment he sat down, he said “I think we have chemistry.” I didn’t believe it was the real Seto Kaiba until I met the real him and I fall in love with him over and over again. He sat a few seats in front of me now and I watched his back. He still sat and took notes the same way he always had. He was still brilliant and it seemed that I was the only one affected by the break up. Two years of being together and putting up with each other, 4 months later and he seems to just have forgotten about it.

“Okay class, we will be doing some projects outside of class today. You will choose a partner and the both of you will explore the different elevations of the school. Which ever group discovers the most accurate elevation of each building first will receive 50 points extra credit and full points on the next test. But hear this, no one has ever figured it out” our teacher said.

I rolled my eyes and looked around to see who I would rather be partnered up with. I looked besides me and saw Sally, she was the most annoying and ditzy girl you’d ever meet, I’d never get that extra credit with her as my partner. Suddenly I saw a huge group of people pile around Seto’s desk. Of course he was the smartest kid in the school, if he couldn’t figure it out, no one could. I could see the teacher getting aggravated with the annoying snickering so he sat everyone down.

“You will choose partners from here” he said showing us a hat.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

“Were so going to partners” Sally said chewing her gum at me. I fakely smiled and looked away from her.

Please anyone but Sally I said to myself. I didn’t need to completely fail it because Sally ‘accidently’ fell off a really high building. The teacher soon came up to me first and stuck the hat out for me to reach in. I sighed and reached in, I just felt like every single card in it was Sally and so I kept searching for a card that seemed different.

“Kayley today please!” he suddenly yelled causing me to have my hand jump out of the hat and throw a single card out. He gestured that it was card so I smiled and picked it up. I was a little hesitant to open it but I did since everyone was now looking curiously at me. I opened it and my eyes widened. I think I was cursed I rather would take Sally.

“Kaiba” I whispered lowly all chocked up, it wasn’t because I didn’t want everyone else to hear it, I couldn’t bear to hear it or even say it.

I didn’t say his name for a long time and just seeing his name written in that paper killed me. Everyone looked shocked at me, as if I was making up the name or something but it was real, his name was my lab partner and everyone stared in disbelief. Everyone knew about our breakup, it was the talk of the week. Everyone was asking me what had happened and rumors even spread that Seto just grew tired of me, and some were even worse, that he got what he wanted from me and left me. I knew they weren’t true, what we had was real and no one could understand that, but maybe I was just trying to convince myself that as well.

Everyone got their partners and we all split up to different buildings. Coincidentally, Seto and I got the main school building first, the building that just so happened, that he had told me that he wanted to be with me forever on. Walking up there was the most awkward feeling I had ever gotten, I didn’t know what would happen if I opened that door, would I act like nothing happened here, or would I burst into tears like I wanted to. I reached for the door knob and I nervously turned the knob, I felt uncomfortable because what I tried to block out of me for the past 4 months was all coming back to me because of this stupid project.

“So how high do you think the elevation is from here?” Seto asked taking out his notebook and laptop.

“18,589 square ft” I responded lowly.

He took out his laptop and punched in some numbers and it turned out I was completely accurate about it. Of course I would be, this was our spot, why wouldn’t I know these kinds of things.

“Alright lets go” he said and picked up his stuff leaving the roof building.

I took a huge breath and looked around before I walked away, I saw the exact place where Seto confessed to me, and I saw our initials written on it. It said S K surrounded by a heart. It was his way of showing the world how he felt and looking at it, it was quite faint now. You could barely make it out and if you weren’t so thorough in your observations, you would have easily missed it. I guess this was a way to show the world that even the happiest couples may eventually fade away.

It took us about an hour or so to get to the 4 building we were assigned to measure out, and with Seto’s amazing technology and Kaiba Corp computer, we won of course. We had to wait until everyone else finished until we got to return to the class, so I decided to just walk around the halls for a bit. It was a bit awkward, I mean Seto was with me, and we haven’t even said a word to each other since we broke up. I could feel how uncomfortable we were both getting, but unlike me who was obviously showing my weirdness, Seto had a calm face on, as if nothing had happened between us.

“So how are you and Wheeler?” he suddenly asked. I looked up at him and bit my lip a little wondering how I should answer him.

“Joey and I are fine” I replied feeling a lot more uncomfortable, especially since this was the first time were speaking, and we’re talking about my relationship with my boyfriend.

“Wonder how you deal with such a loser” Seto said smirking a little and now looking up towards the ceiling.

“He’s not a loser, and I don’t deal with him because there’s nothing to deal with, he’s really good me and I really like him” I replied back.

“Who you trying to prove, me or you?” he responded now looking at me.

I almost forgot how amazing it was looking into those crystal blue eyes of him. How it sparkled and how luring it is just looking into it. I couldn’t though, and I turned my gaze from him finding my shoes very interesting to look at.

“I’m just making a point” I replied lowly.

“So how are you?” he now asked. He wasn’t speaking in that icy, egotistical tone like he always does, he was speaking in that tone that actually sounded like he cared.

“I’m good” I said smiling and looking toward him.

“I was with you for 2 years Kayley, I think I know your smile by now” Seto said which pained me more.

I thought I wouldn’t miss him at all, I thought I could just pick up and move on. Joey is a great boyfriend, he cares about me, and he’s everything that I wanted in someone. But here, I’m standing in front of Seto Kaiba, my ex boyfriend, and all my feelings are rushing out again. I feel like I’m at the same position I was the moment he broke up with me, but now it hurts more, because were not talking about me, or him, we were talking about us, something I yearned for the past 4 months.

“I thought that I’d be fine with you gone but it’s more than I can take Seto. I want you in my life, but I can’t stand being around you. I’m so in love with you, and it just hurts that I can’t be with you” I said on the verge of tears again.

“Kayley. I can’t stand knowing that I hurt you. You deserve so much more than me, and I don’t deserve you. I can’t be that amazing boyfriend that you deserve to have, but seeing you hurt by me, it’s more than I can take. We just can‘t” he said lowly as well as looking into the ground.

Suddenly the bell rang and the classes were dispersing. Seto was right with everything we had. I nodded and turned around to walk away. He still loved me and that’s all I wanted to know. I was tired of getting hurt, and Joey, he was perfect. I saw him come out of his classroom and walked up to him giving him a huge hug. He never hurt me and wouldn’t think about treating me wrong, and I looked at Seto as I was in my embrace and I smiled. I had a real authentic smile and I was happy. Maybe one day, Seto could change and maybe one day I could finally be around him without wanting to burst into tears, but until that day comes, I want to be with Joey, because waiting for Seto is more than I can take.