sorority house . nine

Chapter nine – tears

I took his hand and looked at him, his glittering eyes went dull and his face fell, this is going to be so hard.

‘Blaine, I really like you, I do, but I don't feel the same way, I'm sorry’ I told him.

‘It’s okay, I understand’ Blaine told me.

I smiled ‘I will always love you but as a friend and I will always be there for you, I’ve never met anyone as good as you’

He sighed and leant over and kissed my cheek and I shivered and sighed which made him look at me curiously.

‘Just because I don't love you don’t make you any less hot’ I told him.

‘Oh really?’ he asked, his breath tickling my neck then chuckled.

I laughed and he sat back. I looked away for a few seconds then Blaine got up and I did to, he hugged me then walked away and I rolled my eyes and left. I went back to marching but I didn't say anything, I'm trying not to cry, I feel so bad, I'm such a horrid person. Eventually the bell rang and I went to the kitchen and got something to eat, yogurt, then went into the dorm to eat it. I sat down on the end of Chantal’s bed and looked at Gydget. She’s wearing a navy blue mini skirt and a white singlet top with sleeves thing and she looks pretty good.

When I finished my yogurt I pulled Rosalyn aside and looked at her seriously.

‘Could you do me a favour?’ I asked.

‘Of course, what is it?’ Rosalyn asked.

I sighed ‘can you go check on Blaine for me? He won’t let you in at first but don't listen to him, ask him what's wrong, barge into his room, be nice and touch him, anything so he opens up to you’

‘Alright, alright, slow down, I’ll do it’

‘Good!’ I said then push all the way to the door and shoved her out and closed the door behind her.

I became very nervous and went upstairs and sat down on the couch and began watching a cute guy run on the treadmill, he looks like a 1977 Michael Jackson. He soon noticed I was watching and smiled then left, whoops. I pulled my feet up onto the couch and chewed on my thumb. It wasn’t long before Daniel came up and I just about choked, he came up half naked, only jeans on and beads of water down his chest and arms with wet hair. He smiled at me rubbing his towel on the side of his head, gorgeous! He sat down next to me and smiled.

‘Why are you up here by yourself?’ Daniel asked.

‘Shit happened and I'm scared Blaine wont like me anymore, as a friend’ I told him.

He rubbed my back ‘I'm sure he wills, you’re a great person’

I hugged him ‘thanks, your great too’

I pulled away from the hug and looked up at the same time and ours eyes caught then we looked at each other for a few seconds then his face moved towards mine and our lips touched. Because I'm such a slut I kissed him back and we sat there kissing for a little while. His hands wondered my back as did mine, his skin is hot and it made me shiver. Soon he pushed me down on the couch and laid over me, his soft lips moving with mine, his smooth tongue running over mine. This couldn’t feel any more magical, better than Blaine I must admit. He kissed down my neck and back up and I sighed with the tingling feeling that was sent through my neck.

I usually panicked when this happened and got this far because I thought they were going to force into stuff but even though I have just met Daniel a few days ago I feel safe with him, knowing that he wouldn’t do such a thing so I let myself make out with him for I don't know how long on the couch. Soon we ran out of breath and needed to stop but the moment was over by then anyway, he moved off me and sat next to me and I sat too. He smiled at me then put a lock of my hair behind my ear and then walked away. After a little while of sitting there wondering what on earth just happened I went back down stairs and sat back down on Chantal’s bed then Roslyn walked in and I just about fell off the bed when I sprung up to run over to her. We went outside and sat on the grass out front of the barbeque area.

‘How is he?’ I asked.

‘He’s crying and very upset. I did what you said I should and it worked, he told me what happened and stuff and I just felt so bad I cried too’ Rosalyn told me.

‘Yeah, he does that and his eyes are nothing like I’ve seen before’

Her eyes widened ‘I know, they glitter... um, we kind of kissed too...’

I stared at her for a few seconds; I’m sure how that affected me. But I soon thought I didn't mind but I am jealous.

‘It’s amazing isn’t it? I’ve kissed him a few times before and everything around me melted away, it was just me and him’

‘That how it was for me, it was amazing! I just want to run back in there and jump on him’

‘You have no idea how badly I want that but I cant... I should go see him?’

‘Yeah, go’

I smiled and got up and went to Blaine’s cabin with no idea what to say or do, I’ll just have to wing it. I thought. I can’t see him through the door so I opened it and went in and heard him crying in his room so I went in there. He looked at me, his eyes swollen and red from crying and his lip trembling, he rolled over as soon as he saw me.

‘What do you want?’ Blaine asked crying.

I didn't say anything; I don't know what to say so I just climbed on his bed and lay down behind him and put my arm around him and held him tightly. I felt his body stiffen but he relaxed and put his hand on mine and he stopped crying. I pressed my head gently against his and closed my eyes.

‘I'm so sorry,’ I whispered, tears falling from my eyes, ‘if someone asked me if I loved you I’d lie’

Blaine rolled over and kissed my forehead then rolled back over and sighed. Hopefully saying that didn't make him feel any worse. I really, really care about him and want to love him that way but I can’t. And I need someone who is more secure because I'm so insecure, I'm sure he could hold me up when I need him but right now he’s too troubled and I would probably just fall even when he’s trying to hold me up. I hope he doesn't hate me and still wants to be my friend, although I will understand if he never wants to see me again. I pulled away from him and sat up, looking at him. I got off his bed and left his overly warm cabin and went back to the dorm. Once I got in there I sat down on Chantal’s bed and sighed.

‘Are you okay?’ Chantal asked me.

‘Yeah, I’m okay, what are you guys up to?’ I asked.

Gydget came and sat in front of me ‘Nikki is coming back soon... she should be very annoyed’

I smiled at this, what fun. I thought Gydget was the cutest and I threw my arms around her shoulders and hugged her tightly and giggled.

‘You’re the cutest, I love you’ I told her.

She hugged me tighter ‘I love you too!’

‘Careful, she’s a lesbian’ someone said behind me.

I turned to see Ryle behind me smiling evilly ‘I am not!’ Gydget squealed.

‘Sure, sure, whatever you say, Lezzy’

Gydget opened her mouth with a frown and jumped up then sprung on Ryle and they both fell to the ground and she tackled him, pinning him to the ground. She’s struggling to keep him on the ground but she’s doing a mighty job.

‘I'm not a lesbian!’ she growled.

‘You are too’ Ryle teased.

‘I am not!’

‘Prove it,’ Ryle said then kissed the air.

She gaped with a frown for a few moments and he kissed the air and then she leant down and gave him a really quick kiss on the lips then got off him; Ryle stood with her and put his arm around her shoulders.

‘I’ll see you tonight at seven then,’ Ryle laughed.

Gydget faked a girl giggle ‘sure, honey’ she said in a fake sweet voice and moved away.

There is so something going on between them and I am going to find out what it is! Oh this is gold; Gydget just kissed Ryle, no matter how small. All of us watching laughed our heads off for a good fifteen minutes before calming down again. After having a great conversation with everyone, like literally the whole dorm I went and had a shower.

When I came back from washing up my plates I went upstairs and announced that I'm going to play a song for everyone and they all ran up there ahead of me and cheered as I walked up the stairs shaking my head. I began to sing them a song called ‘Throwing diamonds’ I wrote it about my best friend on the outside, everyone loved the song I sung and cheered wildly as well. I played them another song and when I finished I saw Nikki standing at the door as everyone cheered...