Can We Escape This Fate? |Ronnie Radke| Double-digits. Woot, Woot(: Long chapter to celebrate. This one's for: xXfrostiliciousXx, mb102995, and MelissaInsideOut. Wanna add yourself to the role call? MESSAGE. Rate. Banner(:
They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone.
But for what we've become,
We just feel more alone."
-"I Slept With Someone In Fall About Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me", Fall Out Boy
Sam drove recklessly down the empty back streets, tears falling unrestrained down her cheeks. She knew, somewhere in the back of her mind, that she was overreacting, but she didn't want to listen to reason. She wanted to cry and rage and be angry. Why did Laila always have to ruin things for her? She went out of her way to take anything Sam wanted; From boys, to clothes, to make-up. If Sam liked a pair of jeans, Laila would buy them first. If Sam mentioned that she liked that lipstick, Laila would manage to possess it first. It was like a constant battle between the two of them, and the stakes were getting higher.
She wondered, idly, if, maybe, just maybe, Ronnie liked Laila. Sam had to admit that her sister was more attractive than her, even if Laila did possess a black heart made completely of stone. That was her only redeeming quality; Her face. Sam didn't even know how much of it was originally Laila's. Her sister had had a bunch of plastic surgery done after she'd sustained "injuries". Really, it was only an excuse to get money from their parents for whatever she pleased. And they were like putty in her hands, always crooning about: "Laila this," and "Laila that,". It was sickening. They couldn't see how much of a monster she really was.
But the way he'd looked at her! It had been like he was a man dying of thirst, and Laila was a great, majestic waterfall, glistening and gurgling, ready to be drinken from. And Sam was just like a muddy pool of rainwater in comparison. He hadn't even remembered she was there until she hit him. And then, he hadn't even known why she'd hit him. Maybe... Maybe she was losing something else to her sister. And this time, she didn't know if she could bear to lose.
Maybe Ronnie was making Sam jealous. Maybe he really liked her, but was afraid of saying it, so he was going to make her jealous to see if she cared before he said anything. It was logical, and it had been employed on her before by a multitude of boys. The only problem was that the others had been very shy and unforthcoming, but Ronnie was an in-your-face kind of guy, and loved to speak his mind. He probably didn't like her, anyway. She wasn't as beautiful as her sister.
Sam pulled over into the grass and rested her head on the steering wheel, letting a few more tears slip out and crawl down the leather. She sat there for a few minutes, not thinking of anything. Just relaxing and exulting in the quiet time she'd been given.
A sharp tap on her window made her jump, and she peered anxiously out, to see who it was. Max grinned cheerfully down at her. His expression twisted, though, when he read the look in her eyes. Sadness filled his own, and he walked around the car to the passenger side. Max popped open the door and slid in, closing it behind him. There was a slight awkwardness filling the air between them, and neither of them liked it.
Sam turned to face him so she could speak while looking at him. Before she could make a single sound, Max's lips were on hers. For a few moments he was all she could feel. He seemed to be everywhere; Above her, next to her, on top of her. His mouth moved roughly and desperately with hers, and she found that she liked it. Max's hands roamed up and down her sides, and crept under her shirt. Instead of stopping him, like she normally would have, Sam let it continue, curious.
Max deepened their kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips. He started to lift up her shirt and then stopped, a thought hitting him. Max picked Sam up awkwardly, and climbed into the back of the car. That way, he reasoned, if anyone came along they wouldn't see much.
Sam reinitiated the kiss almost before they were even settled, too eager to wait for him. Max smiled as he lifted her shirt away from her body. He unbuttoned Sam's pants, and slipped them down, tossing them into the passenger seat. Sam, meanwhile, was unbuckling his belt. She tossed it to the floor, and helped him remove his shirt, a small smile on her face the whole time. The next item to hit the floor was Max's pants. Soon afterwards came his shirt. All that was left were Max's boxers and Sam's underclothes. He looked her in the eyes for the first time since they'd started, checking to see if she was sure.
Sam nodded at him, but her eyes told him a different story. Max sighed.
"Sam, you're not ready for this."
"Yes, I am," she insisted, confusion creeping onto her face.
"Trust me, you're not. You only think you are," Max informed her.
"I know I am!" Sam said stubbornly. If she could've stomped her foot, she would have.
"No," Max repeated firmly. "I'm not doing this."
Tears of rejection filled Sam's eyes. Max's expression of determination softened.
"Sam," he whispered.
Quick as lightning, Sam collected her clothes from the floor, vaulted over the seats, and opened the door. She was out of the car before he could think, and lit out along the uneven road as if she'd been made to run. She couldn't believe Max. He didn't know her as well as she knew herself, and she knew she was ready. How dare he try to make decisions for her!
When she could no longer see her car, Sam stopped running, a stitch in her side and tears still fresh in her eyes. She threw on her clothes, not caring if they were on right, and slipped shoes on her aching feet. Fuming, Sam threw herself down on the ground, ready to let the misery have her. She'd been rejected so many times in the past two days that she was beginning to think that she was truly unwantable. Laila had always told her it was true, but Sam was only just now beginning to believe it.
No wonder Ronnie had looked at Laila like she was a goddess, and Max hadn't wanted to have sex with her. It was all because she was unwantable. Unlovable. The only person she truly had, who cared completely for her, was Claire. Sam couldn't even say she had a sister who loved her, because hers was an unfeeling bitch with no compassion and no regard for others. She would never be loved.
The realization struck her hard, and she couldn't hold back the wave of hysterics that flooded through her. Sam knew how stupid she must look; A barely-past-teen-years girl sitting in the middle of an abandoned street, in hysterics because she has finally realized that she will never be loved. How ridiculous.
She mentally slapped herself.
Get ahold of youself, Sam. You shouldn't be doing this; It's dangerous. You could get killed sitting here.
Oddly enough, she found that she didn't really care. If a car came and ran her over, she'd die. So what? It would just mean that she was no longer messing up people's lives and being a nuisance. It would probably be better for everyone if she just disappeared. Then, Ronnie could go for Laila if he wanted to, Claire could do whatever she wanted without having to think of Sam first, and Max could have sex with a bunch of girls who were "ready". It was a win-win for everyone. Except her.
Her reverie was shattered when the sound of an engine registered in her brain. Sam looked slowly up and saw a large black car barrelling down the road, coming straight at her. She made no move to get up, or even get out of the way. She just sat there calmly, waiting. What happened next surprised her. She'd been expecting to get hit and die. Instead, she got this.
A "What the FUCK, Sam?!" as the car screeched to a halt, the brakes protesting wildly.
Someone jumped from the driver's side, and engulfed her in a hug. They held her as close as they possibly could, and Sam was aware that it hurt a little. Instantly, she was dropped. She hit the road hard, and tears sprang to her eyes of their own accord at the pain.
"What were you thinking?!" Ronnie raged, his eyes livid.
Sam just looked up at him.
"Were you thinking at all?!"
She shook her head mutely.
"Why would you do this?! To Claire, to Max?! To me?" Ronnie whispered the last part, kneeling down so he could look into her eyes. "Why?"
Sam found her voice.
"I- ... It would be best for... everyone... If I were... gone," she explained.
"Why would you think that?" Ronnie asked intensely, gripping her shoulders as if afraid she might disappear. "Why?"
"Because... I only get in the way. If I were gone, you could have Laila. Claire could do whatever she wanted, without having to worry about looking out for me, and Max could have sex with girls that are 'ready'," Sam said bitterly, thinking of what had happened only moments ago in her car.
Ronnie seemed dumbstruck. He couldn't form words; Couldn't string them together to make comprehendable sentences. He just looked at her, mutely. A resolve came into his eyes as Sam watched him, and her interest was piqued. What was he going to do?
In the blink of an eye, his lips were on hers with a driving force. The burning intensity with which he was powered seared right through her. She knew that he truly cared about her now. This kiss showed it; It was desperate and loving and gentle and rough all at the same time. If Sam could think clearly, she would know that this was the most meaningful kiss she'd ever, or likely would ever, experience.
They broke apart for air, and sat so close on the cold ground that their bodies were touching at every possible junction. Not an inch of her body was left untouched by some part of his, and his body heat transferred to her. Ronnie reached out to her, and she slid impossibly closer, sitting on his lap. He put his arms around her and rested his chin on her head. He smiled to himself, pleased.
Sam and Ronnie sat like that for quite some time. Long enough for the sun to swap sides of the Earth sky, and the stars to begin appearing. With a sigh, Sam acknowledged that Claire would be worried, and she needed to get home. Ronnie heard everything in that single sound, and stood up. Sam clung to him as they walked to his car, unwilling to let him go for even a second. Smiling widely, Ronnie gently peeled her hands from his arm, and helped her into the passenger seat. She buckled her seatbelt as Ronnie slipped in the other side.
He stuck the keys in the ignition, and they were off. It took a surprisingly short amount of time to get back to Claire's house, and Sam flinched when she saw the silhouette of Claire against the blinds of the livingroom window. She was in for it when she got back inside. Claire must have been worried absolutely sick.
Ronnie saw the flinch, and knew what it was for.
"You could always pretend you are asleep, and I could carry you up to your room," he suggested.
Sam looked up eagerly.
"That just might work!" She exclaimed. "You're brilliant!"
"I've heard that before," Ronnie said, grinning.
They pulled up in the driveway, and instantly Sam went limp, pretending to be asleep in case Claire was already watching through the blinds. Ronnie got out of the car and strolled around to the passenger side, making quite a show about slowly opening the door, silently unfastening the seatbelt, and gently hefting her in his arms. Quietly, Ronnie kicked the door shut, clicking the car locked with the control between his teeth.
When he reached the door, he extended a hand to cover Sam's eyes, protecting them from the light. She couldn't help but smile; This was just too great of a charade. Ronnie should be an actor!
The door swung open for them, and Sam heard Claire swallow her words before she said them when she saw her best friend "passed out" in Ronnie's arms. She heard Claire sigh crossly, and shut the door, locking all the bolts. She said nothing as Ronnie continued to the stairs. He hurried up them, and plopped Sam on her bed in her room after locking the door behind them.
Sam opened her eyes again, and smiled widely at him. He grinned back, and walked back over to the bed. Ronnie leaned down to kiss her goodnight, but she stopped him.
"Stay with me?" Sam asked him quietly.
He nodded in response, and Sam smiled again.
"Hold on a second; I have to change. You're going to have to watch, or close your eyes, because I can't go change in the bathroom," Sam informed him, going to her closet.
"I think my eyes will survive if I watch," Ronnie remarked.
"Smart-ass," Sam laughed, pulling out a set of zebra-striped boy shorts and a neon green spaghetti-strap shirt.
She slipped off her shirt and her pants, hearing the soft thump as they hit the floor. She peered subtly over at Ronnie, and his face showed nothing but pleasure and longing. Sam pulled the nightclothes on over her body, and skipped lightly over to her bed. Ronnie looked up at her.
"Why, hello there," he said.
"Hello to yourself," Sam retorted, climbing on top of him.
She straddled him, and ran her hands across his chest. Ronnie placed his hands on her hips, and shifted a little beneath her. A warmness gripped her, and she felt hot all over at his touch. She moved her hands lower, and felt his pants tighten. Sam smiled, biting her lip. Ronnie moaned softly. She leaned down and kissed him forcefully, slipping her tongue into his mouth. Sam then moved her mouth to his neck, nipping and kissing all the way down. He shivered, and she grinned. She was very good at this.
Suddenly finding herself very sleepy, Sam gave him a quick peck on the lips, and rolled sideways off of him. She crept under the covers, backing up until she was pressed against him, her back to his chest. She felt warm breath on her neck, and shivered.
"You're such a tease," Ronnie whispered.
"Mhm," she replied, and promptly fell asleep, just as she felt Ronnie's arms snake around her waist.
I'm charging you all with neglect;
The little yellow stars feel verrrrry lonely.
If you click on them, they will love you forever.
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