"What was it this time?" Ethan asked when I came into the apartment at eleven at night. He was sitting on the couch in the dim light from the lamp in the corner. He was still dressed in his suit. "I got caught up," I told him, dropping my bag on the floor by the small kitchen table we had both picked out. "With?" "Work." Ethan nodded his head. He had expected that. "I waited at the restaurant for almost two hours Cat," he told me, an eerie calmness in his voice that I could feel was waiting to rise. "Megan needed me. She has a release conference tomorrow and we had to get everything done tonight," I explained, taking my shoes off. My feet were sore and red. Placing a hand on the wall I balanced myself as I rubbed them. "So you just decided to not come tonight?" Ethan asked. "I couldnt." "You couldnt even call?" I was avoiding his eyes, something I was good at. "It slipped my mind." "Just like it skipped your mind last week to show up at the dinner I had with my boss," Ethan began. "Or when we were supposed to visit my sister and new nephew last month." "Im sorry about all of that," I apologized. "You know how busy I am." "Yeah I do, but you seem to have time for work and that damn cat of yours," Ethan snapped. "Look," I said, walking halfway towards him, "theres a position open and I have a chance at it. Its a really good job. You know how much I want this." "You dont want this Cat," Ethan said, standing up and taking a few steps in my direction. "You never wanted an office job. What happened to wanting to write? You used to just write all the time. You didnt have all the worries you have now. Why cant you just go back to that?" I paused, and looked over his shoulder. "Because it was never going to happen. You have to just except things and I excepted that Ill never really be a writer," I told him. "Having a book published doesnt make you a writer Cat," Ethan said, bring his voice back down. "I have to do something. I need a job or well lose this apartment and everything we have," I told him. "I dont care about any of this," Ethan snapped. "None of this matters. I want you to be happy. I want you to go back to being the Catherine I knew." Through Ethans pleads, and my own mind telling me he was right and that I wanted to go back to the way things were, I just couldnt. "I cant," I told him softly. "Im sorry." Ethan looked away from me, then back at me, his eyes meeting mine. "Me too," he said, picking up his coat, walking past me and to the front door. "Happy anniversary Cat."
Since I didnt start work till Monday, I had absolutely nothing to do with my time till then. I stayed inside my apartment though, as it had been raining all day long.
I cleaned a bit, straightening things up and clearing out some clutter. I found some vintage sheets in a closet and put them over the couch, making it a little more colorful. A box in the back of the closet held some of my old painting and photos, and I hung them on the walls.
I dont know why, but I wanted to make the place lively and homey again.
It was pretty late, sometime just before seven, and I had been done with fixing things up for a while. The lights were off and a few candles, placed randomly around the room, were giving off the only light.
I was sitting on the floor in my living room, surrounded by the orange glow and the sound of rain, just reading when there was a knock on my door.
I lifted the blanket that was over my shoulders off, and set my book down, finding my way in the dim light to my door.
"Chris?" I said, surprised to see him standing on my doorstep. He was practically soaking wet. His dark jacket was stained black with water, and the end of his hat dripped. "What are you doing?"
"Its pretty cold. Do you think I could come in?" he asked, his teeth clenched to keep from chattering.
"Oh, oh of course," I said, moving aside and allowing him to enter. Chris ran inside, a bag in one hand that he set down on my small coffee table. He slipped his arms from his sleeves and flung his jacket off. He picked it up and hung it on the back of a chair before turning to me and just smiling widely.
"So, whats going on?" he asked me.
I couldnt help but smile. "Not much. What are you doing here?"
Chris picked up the bag he brought. I brought food, he said in a mocking caveman voice. "Chinese food. You like Chinese, right?" he asked, looking a little worried.
I nodded.
"Good." Chris put the bag back down and picked up my blanket, spreading it down on the floor where he then sat and took to boxes of food out. "Come, sit," he commanded, and I obeyed.
Chris handed me a pair of chopsticks and a box of chow mien, before taking some for himself.
"Oh wait," he suddenly said, popping up from the floor and retrieving a small tea light candle from one of the shelves I had put them on. Chris sat back down and placed it inbetween us before saying, "Romantic, eh?"
I chuckled. "Yes."
Chris and I sat, talking while we ate. I fetched a bottle of wine from the kitchen and we both had only a glass. After we both had our fill of rice and egg rolls, the boxes of take-out were pushed aside and replaced with conversation which was more then enjoyable. My cheeks and stomach actually hurt of laughing and smiling so much. I think Chris felt the same way.
"This was nice Chris," I told him, sitting on the floor and leaning my back against the couch. "Thanks."
"No problem," he said from his spot next to me. "Im just glad you allowed me through the door," he joked.
"Well, I did think of turning you away, until I smelt the food," I teased.
Chris laughed with me, then got a shy smile that vanished into a strange and serious look.
"Cat..." he said, making me nervously run my finger over the rim of my wine glass.
"Yeah."
Chris looked up at me with his deep brown eyes. "I dont want this to be over when I leave," he said.
"What do you mean?" I asked, gulping, though I knew what he meant.
"I dont want this, us, to be over when I leave," he repeated, sounding a bit more confident.
"Chris-"
"I know that for whatever reason you think its not a good idea, but it is," he said.
"Is it really?" I asked him. "Ill be here, youll be wherever. How is that going to work?"
"Because well make it work. I dont want this to be it. I dont want to leave and forget about you or have you forget about me," Chris said.
"I wont forget you," I assured him.
"Then say youll be my girlfriend," Chris told me. "Say you want this to last."
"Chris" I sighed, pausing, not knowing one bit what to say to him. "Why do you like me so much? You barely know me."
"Because you barely know me, and you like me," he replied.
"Chris-" I started to say, but was cut off by his lips crushing mine. I almost dropped my glass but Chris hand found it, taking it out of my hand and placing it on the ground. His hand then slide up my bare arm and cupped my cheek. His rough hands gently touching my face, his thumb running small circles over my cheekbone.
I kissed him back just as intensely, feeling something I had not felt in a long time. A nervous knot made with strings of eagerness and yearning formed in my belly.
The taste of the wine still lingered in his lips and I felt keen on tasting it from him. Chris leaned over me slightly, positioning himself better with one hand still touching me and the other holding himself up on the floor. He flicked his tongue over my bottum lip and even if I wanted to stop, I wasn't able to. My own bodily desires took over and allowed Chris to open my mouth on his delicate demand.
My head fell back against the seat of the couch as I fell into his kiss. My hands reached up to the back of his head, finding his long neck and plating themselves there. Once again my body had a mind of its' own, holding Chris to me, as if afraid to let go and face the consequence all our actions.
When one of my hands started to travel down the length of Chris' torso, coming to the end of his shirt and tugging on it, I pulled away, stopping before I went too far.
Both mildly out of breath, we rested quite still, Chris' cheek right by mind. Faintly touching, the little hairs grazing against one another like two feathers.
"I'm not normally so forward with women," Chris confessed in a low tone, almost a whisper, almost just air.
"I'm not normally so shy," I revealed back.
A short quiet minute passed between us. My one hand still at the bottom of his shirt, his one hand now tangled with my other, resting on the cold hard floor.
"Say you want this to last," Chris said, wind brushing past my ear.
I didn't take long to reply with, "I want this to last."
With his cheek so close to mine, I felt it rise in a smile. Then he moved and I felt his lips on me again, kissing my tenderly on the cheek. He pulled away and I finally opened my eyes, seeing Chris' smiling face in front of me.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" Chris asked, his tone starting to return to normal.
"I start work," I told him.
"Well then we'll do something after," he said, starting to get up from the floor. "I hate to leave but I have to," he said, fetching his coat -that was now dry- and throwing it on.
I sat planted on the floor, literly floored by what had happened.
"I'll see you Cat," Chris said, leaning down and kissing me quickly on the lips. I found myself moving towards him in an attempt to make it last, only to be disappointed when he stood back up.
"Good night," he said to me, walking backwards to the door.
"Good night," I said, as he went out the door, leaving me alone on the floor, surround by candles and Chinese take-out boxes.
Slowly -as my body didn't seem to feel like it could move any quicker- I picked up all the boxes, and blew out all the candles. I folded the blanket up and threw it over the back of the couch before heading off to my room. And as I had started doing again since getting back from the center, I sat up in bed and wrote in my journal, not getting to sleep till sometime past midnight.
the end------>
Well, thats al. Please rate high and message.
~Lara
