The Azumanga Daioh/Ouran Host Club Mixer

Opening theme: Soramimi Keiki (Azumanga Daioh)

In their second year of high school, the girls were over at Chiyo-chan’s house for a study session. "Man, I’m tired of studying," Tomo complained.

"I’m not sure I’ll ever understand all this," Kagura agreed.

"We’ll be taking entrance exams next year," Yomi reminded them. "Of course, if you think college is out of the question, there’s always marriage."

"But none of us even have boyfriends," Osaka pointed out.

"So you’ve said before," Tomo sighed. It was true. During first year’s summer break, Osaka had indeed pointed out that none of them had boyfriends to show off their style to. Then there was this past summer break, when their P.E. teacher Nyamo had gotten drunk and told them all about the birds and the bees. "What we need to do is find us some man candy."

"Like Thunder Rice Cakes? Something like that?" Osaka asked.

"No! Boyfriends!" Tomo shouted.

"But all the guys at our school are pervs," Kagura sighed. There was no denying this. Most of the male student body admired their classical lit teacher Mr. Kimura, who was so up-front about his infatuation with high school girls.

"So what’s your solution? Speed dating?" Yomi asked.

"I don’t know," Tomo replied. "There have to be some classy guys out there somewhere." Letting her eyes wander around the room, she spotted a piece of paper on Chiyo-chan’s desk with the Ouran Academy letterhead on it. "What is this?!" she exclaimed, snatching it up and showing it to Chiyo-chan.

"Oh, that came in the mail today," Chiyo-chan answered. "They want me to come take a look at their school to see if I might want to transfer there next year."

"What?!" her friends all gasped.

"You’re not seriously considering leaving us, are you?!" Tomo shrieked. "Just because you’re so rich and a prodigy and everything!"

"No, no! I’d never even think about leaving you guys!" Chiyo-chan protested, looking frazzled.

Sakaki imagined what Chiyo-chan would look like in the Ouran High School uniform - that formal-looking yellow dress with poofy sleeves. Then she imagined what she herself would look like in it and came to her usual conclusion that she wouldn’t look nearly as cute as Chiyo-chan.

"What a relief!" Osaka said.

"Yeah, I don’t know what we would do without you," Kagura added.

"Hey, there’s something else that came with it," Yomi pointed out, picking up another piece of paper that had fallen from the desk when Tomo had snatched up the letter. "‘You are hereby invited as a special guest of Ouran Academy to the annual ball held by the Ouran High School Host Club.’"

"What’s a host club?" Kagura wondered aloud.

"Sounds like a social committee that hosts parties," Osaka suggested.

"There’s more," Yomi went on. "‘If you agree to come take a tour of our facilities, you and six friends will be given the honor of dancing with the members of the Host Club. While you are not required to commit to making a decision regarding your transfer in order to attend the night’s festivities, we would love to see you there.’"

"So does that mean the Host Club is all guys?" Tomo asked. "This could be our chance to get out there and meet some people!"

"That also means there are seven of them," Chiyo-chan added. "I should invite Kaorin."

"Yeah, get her in on this too!" Tomo agreed.

"But we’ll need to go looking for dresses and learning formal dance moves," Kagura pointed out.

"It’s in a week, right?" Yomi asked, looking over the sheet again. "That should be plenty of time...but I’ll have to step up my dieting plans."

"It also says we need at least one adult chaperone with us," Chiyo-chan said.

"We can’t ask Yukari and Nyamo," Tomo stated. "They’ll just freak out and ruin everything."

"Yeah, what’s that word Yukari uses?" Kagura asked.

"Bourgeois," Yomi answered. "For sure she’d cause a scene, and Nyamo, too, trying to calm her down."

"We can’t even tell them about it," Tomo added, "or else Yukari will still overreact. It’ll be a big mess!"

"I think my parents are the ones who are supposed to be chaperoning," Chiyo-chan spoke up, "since this is about me possibly transferring there."

"‘Cept ya ain’t," Osaka pointed out.

"So you’re just using me to meet new people?" Chiyo-chan asked.

"It’s not like you’re not getting anything out of it," Tomo said.

"But she’s an eleven-year-old, surely they know that," Yomi pointed out. "She’ll be dancing with an older man."

"I don’t have a problem with that," Chiyo-chan said. "The dance at the sports fest was no big deal."

"All right, then. Go ahead and RSVP for all of us," Tomo cheered.

"Right!" Chiyo-chan agreed.

***

"I’ve been informed of some business that requires our immediate attention," Kyoya announced to the rest of the club the next afternoon.

"Is it about next week’s ball?" Tamaki asked. "I thought we’d already gone over the preparations for it."

"Yes, but we have a new situation on our hands," Kyoya said. "It seems the school is attempting to recruit a child prodigy and has invited her and her friends to come to the ball and spend some one-on-one time with the members of the Host Club - seven of them and seven of us. The school has already received her response. She will take the tour before attending the ball and give the school her final decision the following day."

"So then our original plans will have to take a backseat," Tamaki pondered.

"Yes, our usual clientele will have to be put on hold, but we can easily arrange to make up for that," Kyoya stated.

"Makes no difference to me," Haruhi put in.

"So what’s this girl like?" Honey asked.

And so began the impressive results of Kyoya’s background check. He posted a picture of Chiyo-chan onto the club’s dry-erase board and wrote her name above it, circling it and writing "guest of honor" next to it. "Chiyo Mihama is eleven years old but will be turning twelve at the end of the school year. Her family is well-off and she attends a prestigious commoners’ high school. The six friends she’s bringing with her to the ball are all commoners as well."

"Try not to use the word ‘commoner’ around them," Haruhi advised. "You’ll just end up insulting them." God help these girls for agreeing to come to this thing and dance with these people...

"Heavens, no," Tamaki protested. "While I admit I am fascinated by the commoners’ lifestyle, I would never use the word ‘commoner’ in a derogatory manner."

"Still, I’d refrain from saying anything that might set them off," Kyoya said, agreeing with Haruhi. "It’s bad for business."

One-track mind, Haruhi thought.

"As I was saying, Miss Mihama is tremendously intelligent for her age, but she’s still an eleven-year-old and enjoys cute things. So Honey-sempai, you will be dancing with her." He drew a line from Chiyo’s picture to the bottom of the board and wrote Honey’s name down.

"Are you sure it’s not just because I’m short?" Honey questioned.

"You’re not known as the boy lolita for nothing," Hikaru pointed out.

"I’m sure you two will have plenty of other things to talk about," Kaoru added.

"Moving on to her friends," Kyoya continued, pinning the girls’ pictures to the dry-erase board next to Chiyo-chan’s and writing down each of their names in turn. "Miss Sakaki is by far the tallest of the group." All eyes immediately turned toward Mori.

"So this really is about height," Honey muttered gloomily.

"No, it’s about compatibility of temperament," Kyoya stated. "Like Mori-sempai, Miss Sakaki is the strong silent type. She loves animals and hopes to attend a veterinary college."

"She sounds really nice, Takashi," Honey pointed out. "You should make an effort to talk to her a little bit. She might need someone to open up to."

"All right," Mori said.

"Next is Tomo Takino," Kyoya continued. "She’s spirited and enthusiastic. Competitive too, but not very bright. Though seeing as how she’s attending that school, she must be able to put her mind to it when it counts. That being said, Tamaki, you’ll be dancing with her."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" Tamaki inquired. "‘That being said.’"

"Your spirit and enthusiasm and being able to put your mind to things," Kaoru guessed.

"That is how you got all of us to join the club, isn’t it?" Hikaru pointed out.

"Very well, I shall be Miss Takino’s dance partner," Tamaki happily agreed.

"Fine," Kyoya said. "Now, Hikaru and Kaoru, before I tell you about your dance partners, you need to agree not to switch places on them or deliberately try to confuse them in any way. Is that clear?"

"We wouldn’t pull a stunt like that," Hikaru protested.

"We’re not even going to be dressing alike," Kaoru added.

"All right, then." Kyoya added their names to the board. "Hikaru, you’ll be dancing with Miss Kagura. She’s on the swim team and enjoys jogging too. Kaoru, you’ll be dancing with Miss Osaka. Her real name is Ayumu Kasuga, but since she’s from Osaka, all her friends call her Osaka. She’s a ditz but has a very unique way of thinking."

"That sounds like a load of fun," Hikaru remarked.

"It should be an interesting evening," Kaoru commented.

Kyoya turned to Haruhi. "Haruhi, you will be dancing with Miss Aida. Her name is Kaori but all her friends call her Kaorin. She belongs to the astronomy club."

"And what will I do if she realizes I’m a girl?" Haruhi asked.

"We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it," Kyoya responded. "After all, none of the girls here have realized your true gender when they danced or otherwise had physical contact with you."

"So you’re saying you’re willing to take that risk?"

"Since it’s a special circumstance, your time will count for double."

"Fine, I’m in," Haruhi said reluctantly. She was still so deep in debt to the club that she was willing to go along with the tasks they presented her with. "And who will you be dancing with, Kyoya-sempai?"

"My dance partner for the evening will be Koyomi Mizuhara," Kyoya replied, capping the marker. "She’s both intelligent and athletic but a terrible singer, though she loves karaoke."

"Don’t you think this is a little unfair?" Haruhi broached.

"How so?" Kyoya asked.

"You collected all this information about them, but they don’t know a thing about us. The school sent Chiyo an invitation, but they probably didn’t include any promotional literature about the club."

"Haruhi has a point," Tamaki agreed. "While some women might like the idea of attending another school’s ball with no idea of whom they will be meeting there, it might not be the case with these girls. A little advance notice wouldn’t hurt. We could even send roses to show our appreciation of their agreeing to come."

"Yeah, you do that," Haruhi said. "Just keep it simple."

"Simple is good," Kyoya agreed.

There’s that one-track mind again, Haruhi thought.

***

"So is it off to Chiyo-chan’s again today?" Yomi asked as they were preparing to leave school.

"Yep," Osaka replied.

"I’m glad you can all make it," Chiyo-chan said.

"Me too," Kaorin agreed. "Thank you for inviting me."

Just then, their home room teacher Miss Yukari approached them. "No one’s going anywhere until I get some answers."

"What do you want to ask us, Miss Yukari?" Chiyo-chan nervously inquired.

Yukari put her hand up to one side of her face to speak confidentially with them. "I heard that someone from the Otori group was here asking questions about all of you. Are you in some kind of trouble I should know about?"

"The Otori group? What’s that?" Kagura asked.

"They run a bunch of hospitals and have a whole S.W.A.T. team at their disposal. They’re super elite."

"But none of us have been in any sort of accident or committed a crime," Osaka stated.

"Yeah, what could they want with us?" Tomo asked.

"I’d just be careful if I were you," Yukari advised before walking away.

"That was weird," Yomi remarked.

When the group arrived at Chiyo-chan’s place, they found a package addressed to "Miss Chiyo Mihama and friends" stamped with the Ouran Academy crest. "It’s from Ouran!" Tomo exclaimed. "Open it! Open it!"

Once they were upstairs in Chiyo-chan’s room, they opened the package. Inside was a booklet, a bundle of roses, and a letter. "‘Dear Miss Mihama,’" Chiyo-chan read, "‘Thank you for taking an interest in our school. To show our appreciation, here is a booklet of information about the members of the Host Club and a rose for each of you. We look forward to getting to know you better at the dance. Sincerely yours, the Host Club.’"

"Wow, these boys really do have class," Kagura remarked as Sakaki passed out the roses.

"I still feel a little guilty that I’m not going to attend their school even when they’re going to all this trouble," Chiyo-chan said.

"I don’t believe it," Yomi muttered, scanning the booklet.

"What is it, Yomi?" Osaka asked as they all gathered around her to see what she was reading.

"The vice president of the Host Club...is Kyoya Otori..."

"Well there’s the connection - they’re spying on us!" Osaka exclaimed.

"And you get to dance with him, Yomi," Tomo pointed out.

"I don’t know how I should feel about this," Yomi said.

"Wait, this says who we’re supposed to be dancing with?" Chiyo-chan asked. "Then they must’ve gotten enough information on us to decide who to pair us up with."

"But just what sort of information do they have on us?" Osaka panicked. "Our grades? Our permanent records? Our health records?"

"Check it out, Osaka," Kagura said. "You and me are dancing with twins - mischievous red-haired twins!"

"Oh my gah!" Osaka exclaimed. "How will we tell them apart?!"

"Let’s start from the beginning and go through this one by one," Chiyo-chan suggested.

"It’s in order of rank," Yomi began. "‘President Tamaki Suoh, second-year. The princely type.’"

"They have types?" Kaorin asked. "I didn’t know it was so specialized."

"It says he started the Host Club so that female students with too much time on their hands can be entertained by him and his friends, who also have too much time on their hands."

"Is that anything like the go-home club?" Osaka wondered aloud.

"I don’t think it’s quite the same thing," Yomi said. "It also says that he plays the piano and likes to call himself King instead of President."

"That sounds kind of arrogant," Kagura commented.

"And Tomo gets to dance with him."

"Yay! I get to dance with a king!" Tomo cheered. "I’m special!"

"Moving on," Yomi continued. "‘Vice President Kyoya Otori, second-year. The cool type.’"

"What’s so cool about a guy who uses his family’s resources to spy on people?" Osaka fumed.

"As vice president, he’s in charge of keeping track of expenses and events. This has earned him the nickname Shadow King."

"That sounds kind of shady," Kagura put in.

"I hope he doesn’t decide to blackmail any of us when they find out Chiyo-chan’s not going to transfer," Tomo said.

"You really think he would do that?" Chiyo-chan asked nervously.

"I’m sure it’ll be fine, Chiyo-chan," Yomi reassured her. "They said there was no pressure, right?"

"That’s true," Chiyo-chan concurred.

"Next is Mitsukuni Haninozuka, third-year. The cute type," Yomi went on. "Also known as Honey. He’s a master of his family’s special brand of martial arts but has a love of sweets and cute things. Looks like you’re dancing with him, Chiyo-chan."

"Wow," Chiyo-chan remarked.

"He looks pretty cute, doesn’t he?" Kagura commented.

"He’s a third-year?" Tomo asked. "But he looks like an elementary school student."

"Maybe he’s a prodigy like Chiyo-chan?" Osaka guessed.

"It says he’s seventeen," Yomi pointed out. "I know I said you’d be dancing with an older man, but it looks like there’s not much difference in height."

"I’m sure we can get along," Chiyo-chan said.

"Okay, next is Takashi Morinozuka, third-year. The strong silent type. He’s Honey’s cousin and is very protective of him. He’s also skilled at martial arts and will be dancing with none other than our Miss Sakaki."

"It’ll be a pretty boring evening if he doesn’t say anything," Kagura pointed out. "Or if he’s spying on Chiyo-chan and his cousin the whole time."

"I’m sure he won’t do that," Yomi said.

"It’s okay," Sakaki spoke up. "I don’t need him to pay that much attention to me. We’re doing this for Chiyo-chan, right?"

"You’re so cool, Miss Sakaki," Kaorin gushed.

More like Chiyo-chan’s doing this for us, Yomi thought. "Anyway, about those twins," she continued, addressing Kagura and Osaka. "Their names are Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, first-years. They’re the mischievous type but we have their word they won’t try and trick the two of you. Hikaru’s going to wear blue that evening, and Kaoru is going to be wearing green. Kagura’s going to dance with Hikaru, who is the more dominant one. Osaka’s going to dance with Kaoru, who is more sensitive."

"Does it list any other differences we should know about?" Kagura asked.

"It says that’s for you to figure out," Yomi added.

"They’d better not swap colors on us at the last minute," Osaka said.

"It also says they take their work seriously, so I don’t think we have to worry about any funny business," Yomi replied. "And last but not least, there’s Haruhi Fujioka, also a first-year. He’s the natural type, whatever that means. It says he wants to study to be a lawyer after he graduates."

"So I get to dance with him then?" Kaorin asked.

"Maybe ‘natural’ means he’s just an all-around nice guy," Kagura suggested.

"That’d be good," Osaka agreed.

"Now that we know what we’re in for, we should practice our dance moves," Chiyo-chan suggested, setting up the CD-player. "It’s a waltz. Does anybody know how?"

Once again, like putting on summer kimonos, Chiyo-chan and Sakaki were the only ones who knew how to do it. They showed the other girls the basic steps and used Sakaki for practice.

***

The days passed until finally it was the day of the Ouran Ball. Chiyo-chan’s tour was that afternoon, and the girls showed up at her house at three o’clock sharp (Sakaki arrived an hour or so earlier to spend time with Chiyo-chan’s dog, Mr. Tadakichi) with their formal wear packed.

Meanwhile, in the Host Club room, Kyoya went over the schedule for the night. "The ball will begin at six o’clock. At that time we are to file in down the stairs and address the crowd. Our guests of honor will be announced and we are to meet them on the dance floor. If all goes well, we can escort them elsewhere on school grounds for a private chat. Miss Mihama’s parents will return from their meeting with Tamaki’s father at half-past eight to pick them up."

"It’s really nice that the school is treating her and her friends to this, but I can’t help wondering if it’s just a ploy to win her over," Haruhi thought out loud.

"Not at all," Tamaki said. "It is not our job to persuade her to transfer here or persuade her friends to influence her decision in the school’s favor. It’s our duty as hosts to show these young ladies a good time."

Maybe it was wrong of me to assume that Mr. Suoh would use his power as the school chairman to make Tamaki-sempai and the Host Club serve his own purposes, Haruhi thought. Then again, that Suoh-brand charm is a persuasive tactic all its own. I hope these girls don’t get sucked in by it.

***

"This place is huge!" Kagura exclaimed.

"It’s like a palace!" Osaka chimed in.

"Looks like it’d be pretty easy to get lost," Yomi said.

When the tour was completed, Chiyo-chan’s mother and "other" father (there was a cat figure in Sakaki’s dreams and sometimes Osaka’s that identified himself as Chiyo-chan’s "real" father) went to their meeting in Mr. Suoh’s office while the girls were escorted to a changing room to put on their formal dresses. Yomi wore a mauve strapless dress, Sakaki wore a purple long-sleeved gown with a flower on one side, Tomo wore a red dress with poofy sleeves, Kaorin wore a white dress with short sleeves, Kagura wore a green gown with straps, Osaka wore a yellow dress, and Chiyo-chan wore a pink party dress.

"Miss Sakaki, you look absolutely wonderful," Kaorin gushed.

"Um, thanks," Sakaki replied. "You, too."

"This is my first time going to something like this," Chiyo-chan said.

"For once you’re not alone," Yomi put in.

"I feel just like a Cinderella," Osaka commented.

"Except instead of the clock chiming at midnight, we have to leave before the clock even strikes nine," Tomo pointed out.

"I’m sorry," Chiyo-chan said sadly. "I’m just not able to stay up that late."

"It’s okay, Chiyo-chan," Kagura reassured her. "We’ll just have to make this the best two-and-a-half hours of our lives."

As soon as the clock finished chiming six, the members of the Host Club took their places on the staircase. The ballroom was filled with almost the entire student body. Tamaki stood front and center on the landing of the staircase with Kyoya, Mori, and Honey on the flight of stairs to the left of him and Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi on the flight of stairs to his right. "We would like to welcome all of you to the Ouran Host Club Ball," he began. "Please enjoy yourselves to the fullest extent of these festivities. We have some special guests joining us this evening, and for the first half of the ball our time is theirs. For the second half we will be making our rounds, so keep your dance cards and your hearts open."

As the club’s regular clients cheered enthusiastically and screamed loudly, Chiyo-chan and the others were waiting on the other side of a door. They couldn’t quite make out what Tamaki was saying through all the screaming. "Whatever he said, it’s sure got them riled up," Osaka commented.

Then the doors opened, which was the cue for the girls to enter. The crowd had moved to either side of the room so that the seven of them had a clear path to the staircase on the opposite side. As the girls walked into the room, the members of the Host Club walked down the stairs and met them halfway in the middle of the dance floor. Because Chiyo-chan was the main guest of honor and Honey was her dance partner, Honey had to initiate the dance rather than the club president Tamaki. "Welcome, Miss Chiyo. May I have this dance?" he asked, bowing. Chiyo-chan nodded then curtsied, and then the rest of the group paired off and began dancing. Other couples danced too, while the singles who weren’t dancing wondered who the special guests were and what their significance to the Host Club was.

Since all the other high school girls were taller than him, Honey hadn’t danced with someone on his own level in a long time, but he managed. "So are you having a good time so far?" he asked.

"Yes," Chiyo-chan replied.

"Don’t worry," Honey reassured her. "I’m not going to pressure you into transferring here. Even if you do, I still won’t be able to see you because I’m graduating this year."

"Oh, that’s too bad. Won’t you miss your friends?"

"I can always come back and visit at club meetings and stuff. Takashi’s my cousin and will be graduating too, but Tama-chan and the others mean a lot to us as well."

"I see," Chiyo-chan replied. "I skipped a few grades, you know. Sometimes I miss being with my friends from elementary school, but my high school friends mean a lot to me too."

"What do you like to do?" Honey asked. "You and your friends."

"We do all sorts of things: karaoke, snow ball fights, even jump rope."

"I didn’t think high school students jumped rope."

"Ordinarily we don’t, but we were feeling nostalgic and just decided to do it. My friends really care about me. They’re even concerned I might get kidnapped one day. Oh, that reminds me, can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Do you think you can teach me some basic self-defense moves? Nothing fancy or top secret. Please?"

"Sure thing. But why don’t we have some cake first, okay?"

"Oh, okay."

"They seem to be having fun over there," Sakaki said, and Mori just nodded. "I wish I could be cute like that."

"You look lovely this evening," Mori complimented her.

"Thanks, but it’s hard for me being tall like this. I guess as I boy you wouldn’t necessarily understand." Mori said nothing. "I feel like it would be easier if I were smaller and cuter like most girls." Again, Mori said nothing. "People misjudge me and think I’m cool or scary for the way I look."

This caught Mori’s attention as he empathized with her on this level. "Go on," he said, giving her a meaningful look.

"No, that’s about it," Sakaki sighed. "Anyway, Chiyo-chan means a lot to me as a friend and I wouldn’t want anything to happen to her."

"I understand."

Yomi was still a little uptight about the situation now that she was face-to-face with the person who had run background checks on them. "What’s the matter, Koyomi?" Kyoya asked. "Aren’t you having fun?"

"I am," Yomi insisted. "Do you do background checks on all your guests?"

"Discreetly," Kyoya responded. "How did you know?"

"It doesn’t matter," Yomi said quickly, regretting her asking. "Forget I mentioned it."

"I can assure you I didn’t gather any information with the intention of hurting you girls. No matter what your friend’s decision is, you have nothing to fear from me. Anything we end up discussing tonight is also confidential." When Yomi relaxed a little, he went on, "So tell me, what’s it like having someone like Tomo as your best friend?"

"Well there’s never a dull moment, no matter how much her antics get under my skin," Yomi replied, smiling. "What’s it like having Tamaki as your best friend?"

"Hmm, well I suppose it’s like you say, never a dull moment."

Just then Yomi’s stomach gurgled. "Sorry," she muttered, embarrassed. "I skipped dinner tonight. I was worried about fitting into my dress."

"You shouldn’t do that to yourself," Kyoya said sternly. "You’re fine just the way you are. As your escort for this evening, I insist you pay a visit to our catering table."

"Okay. Thanks."

Kaorin wished she had the opportunity to dance with Sakaki again, but she wasn’t terribly put off by dancing with Haruhi.

"So, Kaori, is it?" Haruhi said. "Or do you prefer Kaorin?"

"Uh, sure, you can call me Kaorin," Kaorin replied. "So, nice place you’ve got here."

"Yeah, it’s pretty nice," Haruhi admitted. "Although that one statue on the fountain near the rose garden...kinda perverted."

"There’s a rose garden? That wasn’t on the tour. I would love to see it."

"Sure. I can take you there a little later. So, what are some of your hobbies?"

"Oh, well I like astronomy and we have a week of camp every summer, but what I really like to do is spend time with my friends whenever I’m not busy with that. What about you? Do you enjoy being a host?"

"I’ve gotten used to it." Haruhi looked over Kaorin’s shoulder for a second and thought she caught Tamaki staring at them. She quickly looked away. "We’re all really great friends."

Tamaki turned his attention back to Tomo, who if she’d noticed his lapse of attention didn’t act like she did. "So, what else goes on here?" she inquired.

"What you see is all there is to it, pretty much," Tamaki replied. "Other than that, it’s a school like any other."

"Yeah right," Tomo scoffed. "I don’t know how many other schools you’ve been to, but this place is far from ordinary."

"Well, you have a point there," Tamaki admitted. "So tell me about your school."

"It’s like nothing compared to this. The only dance we’ve done is the one at the end of the sports fest, and to ‘Turkey in the Straw!’"

"I see that hasn’t stopped you from learning the waltz. I can tell you’ve been practicing. Tell me more about this sports fest..."

Apparently sports was a popular discussion topic that night. "You mean you don’t have sports fests at this school?" Osaka asked in disbelief. "Do you at least have culture fests?"

"That we do," Kaoru replied. "We also had a test of courage contest last Halloween."

"That sounds fun, like a haunted café!"

Kaoru grinned. "Great minds think alike."

"Really?"

"Well, sure. That’s what the Host Club was going to do originally."

"Yeah, those structural flaws sure can ruin a good idea, don’t they?"

Kaoru didn’t know what she meant by that, but it didn’t matter.

Meanwhile, Kagura was concentrating on getting her dance moves right. "I’m not used to doing this sort of thing," she admitted to Hikaru. "I’m really more of a tomboy."

"You’re doing fine," Hikaru said, "but don’t step on my feet, okay?"

"Okay," Kagura mumbled nervously.

"Lighten up, it was a joke," Hikaru giggled. "You’re athletic, right? Think of it as training."

"You seem pretty athletic yourself. Do you belong to any sports teams?"

"Nope. I like playing games and having fun, and I get that with the Host Club."

"So you must have a lot of freedom, then."

"Yeah, I guess we do."

***

Later, the fourteen of them went outside to the courtyard where the rose garden and hedge maze were. "Are you ready, Chiyo-chan?" Honey asked.

"Yes, ready," Chiyo-chan replied.

"What’s going on?" Kagura asked.

"I’m going to teach her some self-defense moves," Honey replied.

"Should they be doing that with Chiyo-chan in a dress?" Yomi questioned.

"I’m sure Honey-sempai knows what he’s doing," Kyoya responded.

Honey began with some advice. "Okay, now in your case your best bet is probably to jab an attacker in the solar plexus with your elbow or to do a back kick to the shin. That’s if they sneak up on you from behind..."

"He’s got it covered," Mori agreed. He, Sakaki, Kaorin, and Haruhi decided to stay and watch while the others went into the hedge maze.

"Why does Chiyo-chan want to learn self-defense in the first place?" Tamaki inquired.

"Oh. Well, Chiyo-chan’s going to study abroad in America after high school and we were all worried she might get kidnapped or something," Tomo explained.

"Is that so? I’m sure she’ll be well taken care of. But your concern over your friend’s safety has touched me deeply."

"That’s right, she’s our friend. And we’re not giving her up without a fight," Tomo declared, a look of determination on her face.

Tamaki dropped his dramatic heartfelt pose and looked back at her thoughtfully. His thoughts were soon interrupted by Hikaru shouting, "Last one to the gazebo’s a rotten egg!"

"Hey, no fair!" Tamaki shouted as Kaoru, Hikaru and Kagura took off ahead of him and Tomo. "Wait, I can’t run that fast!" Osaka called out. Kaoru stopped and let her catch up to him, and then the two of them went on at a much slower pace.

"Knuckleheads," Yomi remarked as she and Kyoya continued walking. (*Bonkuras)

"Knuckleheads, is it?" Kyoya said. "I may have to borrow that from you."

The first four had made it to the gazebo and were waiting for the others. However, it had been easier on some rather than others. "Okay. Maybe that wasn’t the best idea," Kagura muttered, removing her shoes.

"Yeah," Tomo agreed, doing the same. "That totally killed my feet."

"Sorry about that," Hikaru apologized.

"We should’ve realized how hard it is to run wearing those things," Tamaki added.

The other four arrived soon after. "It took you long enough," Hikaru remarked.

"I’m just no match for y’all’s speed," Osaka sighed.

"In this case, I think you were better off," Yomi pointed out.

Because there was only room in the gazebo for six people to sit down, Yomi and Kyoya kept walking further into the maze, leaving the knuckleheads to their own discussion. "So what’s it like being twins?" Kagura asked.

"It’s pretty fun," Hikaru responded.

"It’s great because we’re built-in best friends," Kaoru added.

"I wonder what it would be like if I had a twin," Osaka said.

"One of you is enough," Tomo remarked.

They spent the rest of their time trading tales of their exploits. Then the clock chimed quarter-past eight, prompting Tamaki to say, "You certainly are a delightful group, ladies, but I think it’s time we rejoin the others and go back inside."

***

Upon returning to the Mihama residence, the girls got ready for bed. However, after lights-out they stayed up talking about the night they’d just had. "So Chiyo-chan, what’s your final verdict on that place?" Yomi asked.

"Yeah. Did you and that Honey kid hit it off or what?" Tomo inquired.

"Well, Honey-sempai taught me a lot about how to defend myself if I’m ever in a tough situation like that," Chiyo-chan replied. "But other than that, I think he’s just a little too juvenile for me. I wouldn’t mind still being friends, though." Then she turned to Sakaki and asked, "What about you, Miss Sakaki? Was Morinozuka-sempai nice?"

"Yeah," Sakaki responded, smiling. I wonder if I’ll ever meet anyone like him again...

"Hey Yomi, what about Kyoya?" Tomo asked.

"What about him?" Yomi countered.

"Was he really as shady as we thought he was?"

"Well, he said he had no intentions of blackmailing us, if that’s what you mean. I was actually surprised at how easily I was able to talk to him, though he did seem a little distant."

"I guess that’s just the nature of his job," Kagura suggested.

"If that’s the case, he’s all business," Yomi concluded. "That’s all he talked about."

"I had fun," Osaka volunteered.

"It was nice of Kaoru not to leave you behind after Hikaru started that race," Yomi commented.

"And how awesome were their stories?" Kagura put in. "Maybe we should play kick the can sometime too."

"Or that start and stop game," Tomo added.

"I wonder, though," Kaorin said. "Don’t you think there was something strange about those boys?"

"Strange how?" Tomo asked.

"They just seemed...I don’t know. What’s that word, effeminate?"

"So they’re just upper-class pretty boys with manners," Yomi theorized. "Certainly not what we’re used to, so I can see why you would think they’re strange."

"Yeah, I guess you’re right."

"Anyway, Chiyo-chan has to give the school her answer tomorrow," Yomi reminded them.

"What are you going to say now that you’ve been there?" Tomo asked, a little apprehensive.

"I feel a lot better about saying no now," Chiyo-chan replied. "I’m sure they’ll understand."

"Good for you, Chiyo-chan," Kagura complimented.

"And just remember, everything that happened is our secret. If Yukari or Nyamo find out, there’ll be hell to pay," Tomo stated.

"Right," the others agreed.

***

"It looks like Miss Mihama turned us down," Kyoya announced as word had gotten to them in the next couple of days.

"Well it’s not our fault," Hikaru commented. "She probably just decided Ouran wasn’t the best place for her."

"It’s too bad, but we have to respect her decision," Kaoru added. So they’ve put a spell on their own carriage, too.

"She has it hard enough being five years younger than everyone else in her grade," Haruhi pointed out. "To switch schools again that soon probably wouldn’t have been such a good idea anyway."

"What really matters is that we made those girls happy," Tamaki put in dreamily.

"Tama-chan’s right. I think that night went very well," Honey agreed, munching on cake.

"I agree," Mori added.

"Hey Kaoru, do you think the boss is thinking about expanding our services to other schools like theirs?" Hikaru teased, snapping both Tamaki and Kaoru out of their daydreaming.

"What?!" Tamaki exclaimed.

Kaoru joined in. "I’d say he got a taste of something different and liked it."

"Stop making it sound dirty!" Tamaki ordered.

"You’re gonna rent us ou-out! You’re gonna rent us ou-out!" the twins sing-songed in unison.

"It’s not true!" Tamaki shouted indignantly.

Kyoya had had enough of this. "Knuckleheads." (*Bonkuras)

"Knuckleheads?!" the three of them exclaimed, incredulous.

Closing theme: Shissou (Ouran High School Host Club)

* "dim when it comes to the bon," a term derived from a word for gambling officials who are slow at tallying the score