I Am A Vampire. And I Want To Suck Your Vlood.

If I see another story about vampires, I think I'm going to explode.

Which means that I'm due to blow the next time I visit the Newest stories list, the Ultimate list, and the Top-Rated list.

Honestly? I think we can blame Twilight for this. What ever happened to the good old fashioned vampire? You know. . .

1. Real pale, like they've spent their life cleaning chalkboard erasers.

2. Transylvanian accent. You know, Dracula style.

3. Totally evil. Thus the red eyes.

4. Super-pointy fangs that scare the living daylights out of people.

5. Blood thirsty. Yup, animal blood doesn't cut it...

On the other hand, we have Edward Cullen...

1. Sparkly like a fairy. What, is there glitter underneath his skin? Diamonds? (If there's diamonds there then I want a piece of Edward Cullen...)

2. Seriously handsome... In a pale, bruises under your eyes way. Honestly. Who ever heard of tall, pale, and handsome??

3. Yellow eyes. Like gold, or pee.

4. Can get in your head and poke around your mind. What happened to privacy? I'd be freaked out.

Now we have Stefan Salvatore., who is sorta like Robert Pattinson, except he can go in the sun without looking like a four-year old who went a little overboard in art class.

Honestly. Does putting vampires in a story really make it that much more exciting? And the grammar in these stories simply amazes me. And the stories are oh-so-predictable. It's the same as any other clichéd love story, minus the emo people, plus vampires. In fact, I can have the whole plot laid out for you in say, 2 minutes? Give or take.

"I love you Michael." Deanna said, looking into his brown eyes. He was so pretty. She wanted him to kiss her, just because she wanted him too.
"I love you too Deanna." He came closer to her, as if to kiss her. Then he bit her. Deanna screamed because it hurt. Then she died/gave in and let him/ fell in love with him.

I could stick this in your vampire stories and no one would notice the difference. Goodness gracious. And would it kill you people to use spell check, and maybe a Thesaurus?

Personally, I wish someone would put a twist on vampires. But nooooooo.... Originality is a crime. Personally, I like the House of Night novels, which of course no one knows about. The authors really put a twist on vampires. And the girl isn't all clumsy and needing a man 24/7 *COUGH BELLA COUGH.* List-making time!

House of Night Vampires:

1. They are not bitten by a vampire to be changed, but simply marked as one.

2. They have to go through a change to become a vampire. A life-threatening change.

3. The authors aren't afraid to kill people off or hurt people.

4. The protagonist isn't at all perfect. She has lots of problems with her life, unlike some people... *COUGH BELLA COUGH.*

There's really too much about Bella to complain about for me to rant directly on her. Not to mention all the Twilight fans that'll be hating' on me

Au revoir.

xnEonblUx