What Boys Need to Know About Girls (teenage boys only)

In an ironic twist, the sound is all I want for Christmas is You. Hahahahha....enjoy.

Created by smiles123 on Friday, December 16, 2005


Rule #1: If a girl has been your friend for a long time, when you turn thirteen, or any dating age, things might get a little shakey. You might see her differently than when she was a girl. Don't panic or you'll look like a complete fool. Just act calm and if she giggles or crosses her legs, or stares at your eyes, those are the signs that she is seeing you differently too. If she is putting on weight, she is just becoming a young woman and water weight is just part of it. All you have to do is ignore that and look at the beauty you have seen in her for you two to have been friends all those years. Notice that she has to go to the restroom more. That is one of the signs she is expecting something embarressing to appear on her. If she has a zit, she needs to cover it up. So be patient, and tell her how beautiful she is blossoming to be. A friendship relationship always lasts long, so try not to rush it or you will destroy both your chances with her, and your lifelong friendship.
Rule #2: If you are starting to have a crush on a girl at school, consider other people's feelings first. Look at the people around her. Is she really just beautiful and a dunderhead? Don't even try to flirt with her. Everyone she meets she winks at, because that's all she does! She's a F- prep who you have no chance in the future with. Look at the people around you. If you see a friend who may just be a girl with a crush, consider her feelings before you run after the first frilly skirt you come by, because one day it'll bite you in the butt.
Rule #3: You might want to know what girls are REALLY thinking, right? Well here it is. The more attractive girl is probably thinking who her next boy toy will be. Boy toys, to girls, are just a one night stand. You might have heard of the Gwen Stephani's Hollaback Girl. That is basically what the more attractive girl would be thinking about, but I am not trying to upset any over-confident girls, so don't hate mail me. Anyway, the lesser attractive girl (who we will talk about later) is probably thinking about her future. She isn't worried about her looks right now. She is worrying about her weight, her womanlyness, her schoolwork, her family, her job, her college, and a lot more. She also is looking for "true love" or puppy love. Here is a W.B.N.K.A.G. definition of true love or puppy love. (tr-oo l-uv)v. The act of being madly in love until the day you die, and possibly afterwards. And now, a actual interview with both types of girls.
Attractive Girl:
Me: So, what do you like in a guy?
A.G.: I, like, totally want a guy with blonde hair, muscles, and who only wants a one night stand, because after that, I'm lookin' for another one of those!
Me: I see. And what happens when you date them all?
A.G.:I totally didn't think of that! I mean, what are we put on this earth to do? What IS our meaning??
Me: Excuse me, but what did you say was in that powder case?
As you can see, the Attractive girl has noticed her features and is continuing to abuse them to make the common male (sorry guys) slaves to her every whim for a lousy one night stand.
And note, the moderately attractive girl will one day notice to pay attention to her outer self and become a young woman with more beautiful features, so give her a chance and look on the inside, you know, her soul.
And this is a moderately attractive girl in my next interview.
Me: So what do you look for in a guy?
M.D.: I guess his college aspirations, I don't want to date an idiot who reads COSMO for the naked girls for Pete's sake.
Me: Haha, yea I know. Anyway, what about outer features, and jobs? What about that?
M.D.: I want a colonel with long black hair. Not like, you know, Antonio Banderas in Interview with the Vampire, of course, because he is SO not what I'm looking for.
Me: so, you don't like muscular?
M.D.: Well Antonio isn't all that muscular in the first place, so I don't know how this came about, but no, I don't.
As you can see, she seemed to have lower standards and wanted longer love.
Don't forget the people around you, boys. They might come to be your lifelong partner.
Rule #4: What a common everyday girl wants. What she thinks. That may be the most common question known to man. You wanna know what goes in the mind of a average teenage girl? I recorded my thoughts down on paper and this is what I came up with. *clears throught*:
I wonder if (name withheld) likes me. He's kinda cute. Nah, I have acne. Wait, oh, so does he. He's kind of muscular but not really...
~later in the day~
Booorrreedd...I wonder why we're here? What is the meaning of all of this? Oh, I know, to make cookies. Or just because God was bored one day. I wonder who invented God?
~later later~
Gotta call (name withheld)...
dum dee dum... pick up..pick up...
ooh gotta call her and tell her my deepest darkest secrets so I can giggle and talk to her later...
Ooh gotta "run into" (name withheld) at school, maybe he'll notice I'm wearing new lip gloss...
Well that is what basically was going on in my mind. I am going to have some of my friends do the same thing later in my series to keep searchin' me because they're gonna be hosting next. Anyway, onto the next subject.
Rule #5: Never act like a friend who is a girl is "one of the boys". She'll get bored flirting with you when you treat her like one of your homeboys, and you'll get her out of the list of your first girlfriend, or even just a girlfriend in general. NEVER, I repeat NEVER think a girl who wants to be your friend and give you nicknames and stuff is going to be a "buddy" because all she wants is to be your girlfriend and all her friends that are girls know it. Even I know it.
Honestly, boys, read on my next series, "Pages to Breakups: Chronicals of True Hate"
Always and forever,
For suggestions and questions about what goes on the mind behind the long hair, message me!

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