I was not a normal 18 year old. I had a lot of things an 18 year old would want. My name is Kiley Moore. I was abnormally pretty; I had very dark brown hair that was pin straight. My eyes were wide and an oak green. My complexion was paler then some, but it was flawless. I was smaller framed standing only at 5’2” and my body was perfectly shaped for my height. I had a record deal for my amazing voice. My best friends, were 4 very attractive famous boys. I lived in a very expensive apartment with my best friend in the middle of L.A. But the one thing that I didn’t have, was the love of my life; my best friend; James Maslow.
Again I had everything I could ever want, besides James. He was just so…wow? He was so much taller then I being 6’1” and I had a weird attraction for tall guys. His light brown hair and eyes had me staring when we first met at the studio. His smile gave me butterflies. And his personality was what sold me. I was in love with James Maslow, and I was just his best friend.
Living with James was interesting…and painful on me. Being in love with James I never brought other guys home. James…did unfortunately did bring girls home, and every time was the same. He would bring her into the apartment probably after kissing her outside the door. They would say hi to me, James would introduce me as “his best friend and that’s it” before he would smile at her.
As of now, James and I weren’t talking…well I wasn’t talking to him. Two weeks ago he brought home a girl. She was the exact opposite of me; she was blonde, blue cat like eyes, tall, she wore too much make up which was weird for James. And she was a bitch. James brought her home, and instead of the ‘Hi’ I usually get from his take homes, I got “Who’s the slut in your apartment?”
James’s reply was “That’s Kiley, she’s my best friend, and that’s it.”
With that, my heart finally broke. I snapped. I stood from our love seat, tears stung my eyes, and I left. For four days, I lived with Kendall avoiding James at all costs. Kendall was the other group member I was close with, he had my back no matter what, and I could tell he was pissed at James.
Luckily James and I’s schedules never met. He recorded with the boys only twice a week on Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday they were filming the show. They had online classes at night, and were free on the weekends. I was recording four days a week Monday- Thursday and had online classes all seven days at night.
When I returned to our apartment, James was more then excited to see me. But I ignored him striding into my room, locking the door and beginning my online work. For the next week in and a half, James tried to get me to talk to him, but I walked by like no one was there. Every time I heard his voice, tears stung my eyes and I retreated to my locked bedroom. It killed James, and myself.
Two weeks, and I still haven’t spoken to him. Now I was sitting on my giant bean bag chair in our ‘Hangout room’ which consisted of five massive bean bags, a stereo system, with a bunch of mix CD’s, a mini fridge with Sobe Energy drinks, a 52” flat screen, and me and James’s favorite movies. Now I was just sitting cross legged in one of the bean bags doing my Statistics and Probability coarse work. This room, unfortunately did not have a lock.
There was a knock. That I did not answer. But James opened it anyway. Knowing I was in here.
I looked at the time. 8:42pm. James wasn’t supposed to get off filming till 10.
“Kiles?” He plopped down in the beanbag next to mine. And I didn’t respond. Tears stung my eyes hearing his old nickname for me. I still loved him, but he had hurt me enough.
“Please Kiley?” I felt his hand brush my arm, which I pulled away protecting myself from loving his touch.
“Kiley it’s been 2 weeks sense I’ve heard a word out of you! I don’t like having my best friend ignore me! And I know you’ve been talking to Kendall!” He stood up angry. The truth is, when I was at Kendall’s, I spilled everything to him. My love for James, how jealous I was of every girl he brought home. Kendall told me I was perfect; that I was beautiful, talented, everything any guy would love. But James didn’t see what Kendall had.
My eyes stayed focused on the laptop screen in front of me. Even though my vision was getting worse as tears filled my eyes.
“Kiley obviously this is hurting you too, you’re crying!” James yelled.
I shut my laptop and placed it on an other bean bag. I stood up meeting James’s face and for the first time in two weeks I spoke…well yelled at James.
“James! The only thing that hurts me is the fact that I love you, and it’s always ‘she’s my best friend, and that’s it!’ ” The tears that had built up had finally spilled over my cheeks.
I looked at James’s eyes. They had tears filling them, and his face had softened from the anger.
“Kiley…” He tried saying, but I was quick to cut him off.
“James, why don’t you run back to that bitch! She’s nothing like me. I don’t even see why I love you if you like girls like her! Kendall told me I’m someone that any guy would be lucky to have! But obviously he’s wrong, because I can’t have the one person I want!”
Something flickered in James’s eyes. Anger was what I saw. He blinked away his tears and came on to me. Grabbing my wrists and pushing me against the wall.
“Kiley!” He yelled inches away from my face.
Now I had a fear that if a guy got mad it me that their anger would burst in one huge slap to my face. When James yelled at me like that, I closed my eyes and turned my head letting out a cry. James instantly loosened his grip on my wrist, and whispered “Oh my god Kiley I’m sorry.”
Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at him. His face showed hurt everywhere. He was looking down, tears freely falling from his cheeks. All my instincts told me to wrap my arms around his waist and hold him. But my mind was thinking about all the hurt he put me through.
He held me to the wall for what seemed like forever before he looked up to meet my eyes. “Kiley, I would never hit you.” He moved his hand to my cheek as he began to caress it.
His touch lit my insides on fire. At this closeness made my heart ache to kiss him. I slapped his hand away before I let the action cross my mind.
“Kiley stop it! I can see you like being touched.” He cracked a smile through his tears. He moved his hand back to my cheek, wiping away the tears on my face.
I slapped his hand down again and pulled away from the wall and him. “Sure James, I like that. But I hate you breaking my heart. I hate the way your touch makes me want to kiss you. I hate being in love with you James David Maslow.” With that I turned to retreat to my bedroom, that I could lock.
“Kiley, will you please listen to me?” James grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall again, looking down at me.
“If you’re going to keep me here, I have no choice. I can’t over power a 20 year old that works out and is 11 inches taller then me.” I mumbled, pissed that he had me here.
“Kiley. I don’t know how to say this…”
“You don’t love me I get it James. Blonde, fake, and tall is your type.” I tried pulling away as more tears stung my eyes.
“Kiley! No. You want to know my type? Girls who are shorter then me; girls with straight or wavy hair; girls who do not wear a lot of make up; girls who I can be myself around and goof off with; a girl I can trust my life with; a girl who knows me as James David Maslow, and not James Diamond the good looking dumbass.” He breathed every word with venom. His anger scared me to the point where more tears spilled from my eyes.
“Kiley I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice softened, completely washed of the venom that stung my ears. Was he on his man period? The mood swings were getting too consistent with him. “Kiley…” He took a shaky breath that I felt on my cheeks. “Kiley, I need a girl like you. You’re my type.”
I gave him a disbelieving look. “Bull shit James Maslow. You’ve known me sense you were six and I was four, and I have always been ‘the best friend’.”
He chuckled. “Kiley, did it ever cross your mind that you were too perfect for me.” Tears filled his eyes as he continued. “Kiley, you’re so beautiful. You’re real. You’re shy to the point where you seem childlike. You’re so un-tainted, why would I want to ruin that? I love you Kiley, but I didn’t want to ruin what you had, what we had.” He wrapped his arms around my shoulders due to the height difference and pulled me close to him.
“James, I still love you. I’ve just been hurt so many times.”
“I can fix that.” He smiled leaning down and pressed his forehead against mine. I could feel his breath hit my lips. I met his eyes, which had tears flowing freely from them. I noticed that tears were in a steady stream from my eyes too.
“James…” He cut me off by pressing his lips against mine in a gently kiss. It only last a few seconds but I understood his feelings for me.
“Kiley. Forgive me, and be my girlfriend?” He asked me.
“Yes to both.” And then it was my turn to kiss him. My perfect James David Maslow.