Why?

“Hmm what do I want to wear today?” Andy murmured to himself looking into his closet. “How about total black? Yeah, exactly the kind of clothes that conform to society’s image of angst-ridden teens, PERFECT!” Andy shouted to an empty apartment, to the loneliness that clung to him and his home. Oh fuck it, he thought with a snarl viciously wrenching out an all black outfit. This was no home to him, the place looked like a minimalist lived here. Not the nineteen year old singer of a rising post hardcore band.

But ever since he had moved in Andy been drained by loneliness. Oh he had his buddies and the fans to hang with but he just couldn’t motivate himself to do so. Going into his bathroom he put his usual covering of make-up on. If he was going to be society’s standard why not set the bar high? Plugging in his earbuds Andy set off on a walk mumbling “This place is so empty/my thoughts are so tempting/ I don’t know how it got so bad”

A while passed before he reached his favorite haunt. It was a soccer field that barely used so it was a good hiding place. It was here that he would lay in the middle of the field and listen to music while feeling sorry for his lonely ass.

Twenty minutes passed and out the corner of his eyes Andy saw a young lady come to the edge of the field. Taking out an earbud he listened to her shout what he guessed to be numbers in a different language as she did jumping-jacks. When she finished her stretching it was then she noticed him.

“What’re you doing out here?” she questioned coming over to him.

“Being society’s standard of angst.” he replied with a shrug. The lady rolled her sea green eyes.

“Get over yourself.” she said holding out her hand to him. Andy couldn’t help but smile at her words, clearly she was not one who pitied people easily. Taking hold of her hand Andy rose to his feet.

How little she is, he realized. The lady only came up to about his chest. “Well Mr. Angst what’s your name?” she questioned.

“Andy and you?” the man replied hoping she wouldn’t notice that he had failed to let go of her hand. Her touch circulated a gentle warmth about his chilled body. A chill that Andy had not noticed had grown within himself.

“Courtney.” she replied. The young man smiled

“A pretty name.” he said sincerely. Courtney gave a shy smile and at that moment noticed he still held her hand. She gave his hand a squeeze before gently extricating her hand from his grasp. Andy gave a quiet sharp inhale. Now that the gentle warmth was gone the cold seemed twice as harsh. It seemed Courtney had heard him for she asked

“Are you okay?” lightly resting her fingers are his arm. Andy nodded, wanting to gather her up in his arms to keep her warmth, but instead he shifted restlessly. Seeing his restlessness Courtney told him

“I’ll let you go.” Again Andy nodded before walking away, wishing he would’ve done something more to keep talking to her.

Three hours passed before Andy could persuade himself to go back to his apartment. He didn’t want to feel the emptiness of that place cling to him like cobwebs. But in the end his stomach and tired body forced him to go back. Scarfing down a container of strawberries Andy wiped his red lips on a towel. When he finished eating Andy collapsed into bed not bothering to wipe off his make-up or change into pjs. So he simply wriggled out of jeans and shirt and fell asleep.

At seven exact the next morning Andy awoke to find his pillow smeared with eyeliner. He sighed and took a shower scrubbing his face until it was faintly pink. Drying off, he put on his usual layer of make-up on before wriggling into his jeans and throwing on a shirt. Dragging a brush through his hair Andy set out to his haunt. This time he watched the clouds and kept an eye out for Courtney.

An hour passed before she showed up. Coming over to him she lay beside Andy.

“Happy to see you.” Court smiled. Her smile was infectious and Andy smiled back. The lady’s smile slowly faded as she studied him. A minute passed before she reached out and gently drug her fingers over his make-up. The eyeliner on his cheeks smeared but Andy didn’t care, the lovely warmth was back. Court’s sea green eyes gazed at him in concern as she asked

“Why do you hide beneath all this make-up?” He was quiet before answering

“Why try to be real when everybody will label me the same as everyone else?”

“How can I see the real you if your hiding beneath all that make up?” Courtney retorted a small smile coming to her lips.

“Only one way to find out.” Andy whispered and cupping her cheek the man kissed her lips.

His lips are soft, Courtney thought as they kissed. She ran her fingers through his coal black hair gently working out the knots he had failed to brush. When at last they did break away something about Andy seemed different. Courtney studied him for almost five minutes puzzling out what it was. It was when he smiled and asked

“Am I a bad kisser?” did it come to her. Andy looked happy. Not as if he was just hiding behind a fake smile.

“You look happy.” she stated a smile of her own coming to life.

“Of course I am I’m with you.” Andy replied sweetly.