I shouldn't love you but I want to.
I just can't turn away.
I shouldn't see you but I can't move.
I can't look away.
Jamie smiled as she stared out of her hotel room window. Clouds were slowly drifting across the blue sky, calming down her nerves after a hectic day. She was happy and serene. She had never felt happier.
"I'm sorry but I don't think we can work out. Maybe we should just stop seeing each other." He shook his head, refusing to meet her gaze.
"So it's over? Just like that?"
He nodded his head and without a word, he turned his back on her and left.
"Jamie?"
Jamie wiped the teardrop that managed to escape and immediately composed herself, flashing a smile to Bill, "Yeah?"
Bill kept quiet for a second, wondering what was wrong before shaking his worries off his shoulders, returning Jamie's smile, "Jeanette found this awesome cafe that sells amazing Gelato and she was wondering if you wanna give it a try."
"Sure."
It was just a short reply before Bill shrugged and left the room, a hint of sadness depicted in his eyes. Bill dragged his foot and met up with Jeanette out on the corridor. Taking her in his arms, he tok a deep breath, taking in the smell of newly washed hair.
"I missed you." Bill muttered on her shoulder before kissing it lightly, sending chills up and down Jeanette's spine.
Jeanette looked around and noticed Jamie absence. Pulling away, she questioned, "Where's Jamie?"
"Here I am!"
In less than two minutes, Jamie was a completely new person. A person that was pretending to be fine when she isn't. Grinning, she took both Bill and Jeanette's hand and dragged them towards the elevator.
"You guys are sissies man. Stop making out and let's go eat some ice-cream! Woo!"
"Er… I- I-"
"Just spit it out." Jamie giggled, not letting her hands fall from his. It was nice and warm. It felt almost safe.
"Jamie, I thinkyoulookbeautifultonighandIlikeyoualot."
Eyes wide, "Woah, speak slowly and speak in English."
Taking a deep breath, he crafted each word onto her skin, one by one, "I think you look beautiful tonight and I like you, a lot. Like really like you. Will you go out with me?"
"Gosh! I still remember the day when you asked me out!"
Jamie was distant. She didn't know what was into her that particular day. She was never like that ever since the day Bill, Jeanette and her decided to take a trip down the road. They were currently in Vienna, a very peaceful place. However, that day was an exception.
"You took me out on an ice-cream date, didn't you? Then you asked me out! It was so awesome!"
Jamie tucked her black locks behind her eyes, pretending to indulge in her chocolate mint ice-cream as well as Jeanette's story that she had told for the millionth time.
As his girlfriend talked, Bill couldn't keep his eyes off of Jamie. It wasn't because he liked her. No, he couldn't. He was dating her bestfriend there and then. It was wrong but he couldn't help but wonder if anything was wrong. Bill shrugged it off once more and the rest of the time flew like a breeze.
"No matter where we go, we'll always be under the same sky."
He took her hand and placed it near his heart, letting her feel the rhythm of his heart. Letting her know how crazy he was for Jamie and Jamie alone. He was in love.
"No matter what happens?" Jamie asked, her blazing green eyes shining under the moon light.
"No matter what happens." He promised.
Promised were supposed to be broken. Jamie knew that but she didn't expect the one that she loved with all her heart to be the one breaking his promises that were made to her. Bill now belonged to someone else. Bill now belonged to Jeanette.
Jamie was stuck in between. She had been pretending from the start. Jamie dreaded going for this trip because it'll just scar her more but she couldn't bear to say no to her own bestfriend. Jamie once promised herself that she won't let guys get in between on her friendship with Jeanette and she wasn't going to break that promise.
Oh how wrong she was because now, that exact same promise was causing her to crumble slowly till finally, she broke down. Jamie pulled her knees close to her chest and cried, the longest time since she broke up with Bill two years ago.
"Jamie."
Two strong arms wrapped themselves around her tiny self before pulling her close to his chest. She sobbed, letting him stroke her hair as she inhaled his scent once more. Jamie missed Bill. She definitely did.
"Don't cry. Please."
An hour passed by and Jamie was just sniffling. She pulled away and laughed softly, wiping her stained face before giving Bill and apologetic look.
"I'm sorry. I was thinking about my grandmother and how much I missed her." A white lie.
Bill sighed, "Listen, I-"
He never got to say what he felt. Jamie just placed her index finger on his lips and shook her head, begging him to not speak. From her pocket, she pulled out a letter and placed it in Bill's palm.
"Don't read this till tomorrow, okay. Promise me?"
Bill nodded and watched as Jamie disappeared into her room, wondering what the letter was containing.
"If I left, would you run and find me?" Jamie questioned as they laid on the green grass, enjoying each others presence.
"I will. Trust me."
"Jamie! Jamie!"
Bill shouted from his hoarse throat and looked around desperately. Words from her letter lingering in his mind.
Dear Bill, when you read this, I'd probably be gone. These past two weeks were really great. Thank you for letting me spend my time with you guys. I feel like I'm disturbing you guys.
He ran across the street and down the stairs. Hundreds, maybe thousands of souls flocked the platform as Bill scanned the place, hoping to find the jet black hair that he knew oh so well.
Though, I have to admit. It was painful to see you and Jeanette, despite knowing that it has been two years since we were last together. I know. I'm a freak. A weird one too. I know you had moved on and I appreciate the fact that we remained friends but…
"Sir, have you see a 5 foot 7 girl with jet black hair, fair skin and blazing green eyes? She looks around my age." Bill desperately asked, only to get a shaking head.
One by one, he asked. One by one, his hope started to fade. Bill wasn't going to let her go because deep inside him, he knows that he still yearns for Jamie and Jamie alone. Denial. Yes. That was what he had been going through for two fucking years.
I can't take it anymore. I hate the fact that I still get nervous when I'm around you. I hate the fact that you make my body tingle with excitement just by seeing you smile. I hate the fact that I act like I'm your friend. I just hate it. I'm sorry, Bill. I hope you will forgive me. Just so you know, you haunt me in my sleep every single night. Just so you know, my heart still beats strong for you that it hurts. I'm sorry.
"Jamie!"
Jamie stopped dead on her feet and slowly turned around, meeting that pair of brown eyes that seemed to follow her everywhere she went.
Bill gleamed, elated that he had found her. He was going to tell her that he still feels the same way about her. Bill still loves her and-
"Jamie."
Arms that were not Bill's wrapped around Jamie's waist from the back before he pulled her close to his warmth.
Bill went dead for a while. In front of him, stood the girl that he loved and his own twin brother, Tom.
Jamie shut her eyes and placed her hands on his, not wanting to let go. Tom kissed her cheek and glanced at his younger twin before smiling, knowing that he had every right to make Jamie happy after what Bill did to her.
"Let's go." Tom whispered in Jamie's ear before the both of them turned around, hand in hand, as they walked towards the entrance of the train.
Before they boarded the train, Jamie took one final look and it crushed her to bits and pieces. Though, she knew that forever was never meant to be for Bill and her.
As the train left, Bill was left behind, tears staining his cheeks and burning his eyes. The letter that he held was now crunched up.
"Just so you know, Jamie, I still love you."
