Is it love? or are you just using him? a Buffy\Spike story (10).....Deceiving Appearances!

*spike what are you doing here?* you ask, he was starring out the window when you walked in, *well i wanted to talk to you* you put on a stone face, *probabley not the best time to be talking to me, i have weapons in my room you know* he somewhat smiles, *yeah ok i deserve that, but hey i am here to say sorry pet* you shake your head at him, *Your sitting on my bed* you say, he bounces a little on the bed, *pretty comfy to.* you grab your pajamas and go into your bathroom, you close the door and get changed, your pajamas consist of a tank top and sweats. you walk back out and spike is still there, *you still here?* you ask, he nods, *yeah and i am not leaving till we chat this out* you half smile at his language. you sit down, cross legged, on the arm chair across from your bed. *chat what out?* you say, *look i know i shouldnt have said what i did, and if it helps this is me apologizing.* you raise your head and look at him, his gaze is filled with all sorts of different emotions and you dont know what to get out of it, *ok, is that it?* you ask, he laughs softly and shakes his head, *so this is going to be one of those conversations where i talk and you dont listen is that it?* he asks, *i dont know..... about anything, at the moment i am confused* you say, spike has a bad look on his face, *because of angel isnt it? you see him, no matter if he is evil, and all of a sudden you want something completely different. glad to see where i fit in.* he stands up and walks to the window. just as he is about to jump out you stand up, *spike, wait* you say walking towards him, he turns around, you lower your head so you wont have to look at him, * i.. uh.. i dont want you to go.* he ducks his head so he can try and see your face, *didnt quite hear that luv'* he says, you slowly raise your head, *i said i dont want you to go, i mean yeah i am confused at this point, but i that bit is clear, i dont want you to go.* he walks towards you, he gently lifts your chin up and kisses you lightly on the lips, your arms go around his neck, you dont want to deepen the kiss it is perfect how it is. you pull away and shyly look up at him, *well... do you want to stay the night?* you ask softly, he smiles and kisses you again. he takes of his black duster and puts it on the armchair. you lay down on your bed, with him beside you, he puts his arms around you and you drift off to sleep in his embrace, thinking < . it cant just be about the sex if i find this comfortable.>
ooooo, that was such a kodak moment! sweet!
######*so, where we going?* Spike asks, *I dont know, wherever the vampires are.* he smiles, *there could be a vampire in my crypt, wanna go there?* he asks, you nod, *yeah I thinks it best that we check every possible location.* you start heading for his crypt. When you get to the door of it you start kissing him, he pushes you against the door, pushing it open, and continues kissing you, you walk inside the crypt, still in the process of making out, when the two of you are interrupted by a voice, *Damn Buffy, I am a little upset, what you dont love me anymore?* you pull away from spike and look at the person whose comment was just directed at you. You stare in shock when you realize who it is.#### ok recap over.
just tell me who it is! (ok)
*what were you and spike doing?*, < . Yep.> you think, < .there it is.> you try and think of an excuse but nothing comes to mind, *well he isnt fully evil anymore!* you say in defense, *Buffy, he is spike* angel clearly looks hurt, *yeah but he has a chip in his head now, and can we not talk about this, I have been dealing with to much shit.* you lower your head, angel embraces you, *dont worry.* he says, you hug him back, slipping your arms around his back, laying your head on the top of his chest. Its like all of a sudden all of your worries disappear, it feels like your are seventeen again, that nothing has changed, that your still young, angel is still yours and everyone is normal. You pull away, *are you mad about spike?* you ask, *was that the first time anything like this has happened?* he asks, you dont want to lie to him but you know the truth would be far more painful for him, *yes* you say, he smiles that angel half smile, *Well, its not like you slept with him.* he hugs you again, you bite your lip and close your eyes, telling yourself that lying to him was the best idea. Then he pulls back, *I have to go back to spikes.* you nod, *ok, I will see you later* you say, he gently kisses you on the lips, *bye* he says. He turns and walks away into the darkness. You are left standing there suddenly confused and upset. You walk back to your place and open the door. *Buffy* dawn says all excitedly, when you walk into the kitchen, she is playing cards with willow and Tara, *hey guys* you say, willow can tell something is wrong, *Buffy, what's wrong?* she asks, you sigh and take a seat, *Angels back* you say, willow smiles, *well thats great* she falters when she sees your expression, *not good?* she asks, *I dont know* you reply, *oh and by the way he is in town on business so he is pretending to be angelus ok?* they are obviously confused but they nod, *dawn its late shouldnt you be in bed?* she puts down her cards, *ok,* she looks kind of upset, *hey dawn what say you come patrolling with me tomorrow night, I will teach you a few basic moves* she smiles brightly, *really? Cause that would be so cool* you smile, *yeah.* she kisses you goodnight and heads up stairs. *so angel, and the whole him being back in town, whose gonna tell xander?* willow laughs, you smile, *ooh can it be me? It should be funny* Tara stands up and goes to the fridge, she pours you a glass of water, *you look pretty exhausted.* she says, you nod, *thanks, yeah I am*
mmmm water
You turn around and shoot him the biggest dirty look, he stops laughing, *you know what, I am going to leave, you two catch up. Coz spike for a long time he is going to be the only one around.* you walk out the door of the crypt. Your head is spinning with all different thoughts and emotions. You walk down the street when someone grabs your shoulders, you turn around and see angelus *what, you want to fight me?* you ask, he shakes his head, *No, not yet, I thought we could talk, catch up.* you look at him oddly, *why?* you ask, his intense gaze bears down on you, *trust me, we need to talk* you are a little confused but you let him lead you to the shadows, *what?* you ask, he smiles at you, *Buffy, I have missed you so much* his voice is soft and calm, *angel?* you ask, your eyes widening and kinda watering, *Yeah, its me.* your whole body goes numb, *then what was with the whole angelus thing back there?* he still has his hands on your shoulders and he lets them run slowly down your arms, *well, I cant blow my cover in front of spike, I am in town on Business.* your still confused, *I am here on wolfram and hart business.* you stare at him blankly, he sighs, obviously a little frustrated that you dont get it, he tries to explain again but you cut him off, *I get it, it is just funny watching you get frustrated.* he doesnt seem to find it as amusing as you do, *can I ask you something?* he says, you nod, knowing all to well what is coming,
Oh my god, it is angel! he is so beautiful! but how am i going to explain about spike?
well sorry leaving it there, but hey this one was long, and i spaced it out so you wouldnt have to read great chunks of writing, well i write the next one soon, bye! PEACE
PEACE? you friggen hippy! and i say that with the greatest love and respect for you!
Angel is sitting in the armchair in front of the TV *Angel* you say shocked, he smiles, and you realize who it really is, *no, not quite.* your face darkens, *angelus* you say, he smiles *well done.* he smirks, *What no nice to see you or how have you been, after you sent me to hell, you need to learn some manners Buffy. And spike, I am disappointed you and Buffy?* he shakes his head, *a vampire and the slayer, and you gave angel shit for getting with her.* spike somewhat smiles when he sees that it is angelus and not angel. *well you know, that was angel.* angelus nods, like he knows what he is talking about. *angelus what are you doing here?* you ask, he smiles that irresistible smile, that once belonged to the only man (you use the term loosely) you have ever loved. *I thought I would come here to catch up, you know see how things are going, havent seen you in a while. What you didnt miss me?* he asks, *I missed angel* you say, he stands up *yes angel, see the thing about angel is* he tilts his head and smiles again, *is that he is not coming back. So onto more pressing issues, you and spike, I mean after I get over the shock of the fact that your banging him, care to explain* spike smiles, *you know she is a vamp groupie* he says laughing.
oooh, that scumbag, how could he say it like that?
you take a sip of the drink, *I think i am going to go to bed* you wave goodnight and head up stairs. you open the door to your bedroom and are shocked to see someone sitting on your bed,
AHHH someone is in my room! get the bat! get the bat!

uh oh, angel is back, and he knows a little about you and spike, well he doesnt know that you are sleeping with spike but he knows that you have made out with him! that aint good, and now that he is back in town does this mean spike is just going to be pushed aside? even though you may have felt something? i think your going to have to choose between two great, hot vampires. tough break, its a bitch you cant have both, well you could, but that would just be a little weird, and i dont think they would go for that!