Sky's Content (Nara Shikamaru) [19]

Enough

Day 3 (Sukai Yuri)

Have you ever imagined the ceiling as the floor? All the weird lines and arches make walking around seem tedious. The ceiling has the same design as the floor, and yet it's so fundamentally different.

I've become acquainted with many different ceilings over the years. The one in Shikamaru's grandparent's home was one of those popcorn ceilings. But the room itself is just a rectangle, nothing interesting to the shape at all…

I don't want to get up. Getting up means that I need to go see Shikamaru, and ever since he told me he was in my room I'm having trouble facing him. He knows exactly how I feel, or at least what I am reluctant to feel.

Just thinking back to dinner yesterday, it was almost as awkward as when I first met Shikamaru.

"So Yuri what type of plant are you looking for? Shikamaru's letter didn't say." Shikazu, Shikamaru's grandfather asks me.

"I'm looking for a Caper bush." I tell him.

He pauses for a moment to think, "They're technically scattered throughout the woods, but there's a cluster of them about an hours walk away. Shikamaru can show you where they are."

Then all of a sudden we hear choking noises and turn to Shikamaru."W-What?" He cleared his throat and pounded his chest a few times, "I don't even know what that is."

Shikazu doesn't hesitate, "Sure you do that bunch of bushes up north by the ravine."

"Oh."

I should have figured that if Shikamaru brought me here, he would take me to the plant as well. I'm just getting so tired of arguing with him; I want us to just be on normal terms again.

Ever since I came back I've had to deal with so many different emotions and I'm starting to become overwhelmed. I just want my life to stabilize; it's been a rocky rollercoaster for far too long now.

Well I can't put it off anymore. I sit up, run my fingers through my hair and flatten my bangs. Just a few more days and I can start to put everything that happened between Shikamaru and me behind me. I should look at this as an opportunity to help me move on. We've argued about basically everything I can think of, there can't be much left to say.

Then I hear loud noises come from outside and I get out of bed to see what it is. When I reach the window I look down and see Shikamaru in casual clothes moving firewood. It's hard to believe how much you can change in 2 years, especially since in the span of your entire life 2 years is nothing.

But… Why was Shikamaru in my room? Disregarding the fact that he broke into my apartment, he still came on his own to see me. Does that mean he still has feelings for me?

He can't possibly after all these years. We both knew that my attachment to him was stronger than his to me. After all that was his excuse for breaking up with me. He was probably just curious, nothing else.

I take my time getting ready and when I have all my supplies I head down the stairs and prepare myself to come face to face with Shikamaru. Before I could though, Shikazu was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. "Mind if we talk for a bit?"

I nod, "Sure."

Shikazu and I begin walking outside and he sits down on a bench on his porch. "So what exactly happened between you and my grandson?"

I guess I can't be that surprised that he knows about us, but why is he asking so out of the blue? "Well… What do you know already?" I question, trying to figure out how vague my response could be.

He seems surprised by my reluctance to answer, "I know that you two were pretty serious until you suddenly broke up."

So he knows the basic answer. "There's not much more to it. My dad was sick so I moved to be closer to him."

"Really? That's it? Being in the same room as you two is very toxic, there's obviously a lot of tension there." He starts and I continue to stand by, "Why don't you two just sort out whatever issues you have?"

My stomach churns, "It's not that simple…" No where near simple. "But Shikamaru and I should head out now. Thank you for your concern Shikazu-sama." I bow and head to the back of the house where Shikamaru was.

***

The walk to the bushes was pretty much silent aside from Shikamaru's constant yawning. Every few minutes I hear a yawn, whether it's small, large, or hardly there at all. After a while I started to even count the seconds in between yawns.

Fifty one. Fifty two. Fifty thre—

Yawn.

One. Two. Three. Four—

Yawn.

"Why are you so tired?" I question. All this constant yawning is starting to bother me.

He looks over to me as he's mid yawn. "I couldn't sleep." He tells me and covers his mouth.

I'm going to regret this but, "Why?"

"I was just thinking about… things." He says as he places his hands in his pockets.

I want to ask him to explain further, but it's probably smarter to just let it go. If I don't we'll end up arguing again.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Shikamaru inquires and looks over to me.

I look over to him and become distracted by his eyes for a moment, "I guess." I say and force myself to look away.

He takes a deep breath, "How long after your Dad died did you start packing?" He asks and I immediately regret saying yes.

Then I notice a bunch of bushes ahead, "Here's the Caper Bushes." I comment and start to look around for the best ones to extract and if there are any seeds around.

"Yuri, you didn't answer my question." Shikamaru persists.

I don't really want to tell him because he'll think I'm insane or something. So I find a good bush and start to dig it out.

Once I find the courage to say the words I respond, "… About five minutes after I heard."

He looks at me with wide eyes, "You're joking right?"

I sigh and shake my head, "No. I'm not." I realize how messed up that sounds as I say it.

"So then why did you decide to come back? Whatever it was, it was obviously more overpowering than the grief." Shikamaru questions me.

I don't particularly like how he's telling me what I feel, even if he may be right. I may be telling everyone the reason I came back was because Kohona is my home, but it feels like I've been saying that to try to convince myself that it's true.

I rip off a branch of the bush in frustration and push my hair out of my face. "I came back because—" of you, "—Kohona is my home."

"We both know that's not the real reason."

"Can you stop telling me how I feel?" I snap, "You may have known me two years ago, but not now. Not after all that's happened." I hope that sounded more convincing then it felt.

"How about I stop when you tell me the truth?" He retorts.

"What makes you think I'm not?"

"Because you're playing with your hair," I look at him dumbfounded and he continues, "it's your tell. When you're lying, you tend to curl your hair around your fingers."

I look down to my hands and sure enough, my fingers are curling my hair around them. "You say that as if you've known about it for a long time."

"How do you think I knew about my clock?"

It was the last few days before I left the Nara house and I was heading to Shikamaru's room to sleep when I knocked over his clock and broke it. I went out to buy a replacement and decided on taking a shortcut through a park. As I was walking I noticed down a hill Shikamaru was sitting up, looking at something.

Forgetting my mission to replace the clock I began running down the hill to see him, but the closer I got the more momentum I picked up. So by the time I reached him, I slammed into his back instead of the hug I was intending on. "Boo!"

"Jesus!" Shikamaru had to brace himself, I nearly knocked him over. He turned his head to face me, "next time you do that get a running start, that didn't hurt nearly as bad as it should have."

I rested my chin on his shoulder with my arms around his neck, "Someone's cranky."

"I'm not cranky, I just don't take well to people body checking me from behind." He murmured, "What are you doing out anyways? Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

I released one of my arms from his neck and began to twirl my hair around my fingers, "I went to go pick up a book from the library." I lied.

He looked down to my hair and then to my face, "What did you do?" He questioned.

I blinked, "You mean aside from thinking about this—"I nuzzled his neck, fingers still twirling.

Shikamaru grabbed my arm and pulled me forward, making it so I could see the front of his face when I looked back. "Yuri." He sounded like a father about to scold his child.

Because of the hill my entire body was leaning on him, using him for support. The last time we had this much body contact was when he hid me from his Dad under his sheets. "N-Nothing. I swear." I told him, trying not to think about the growing intensity in which my heart was beating.

He noticed my expression and shifted his shoulders so he could pull me a bit closer, our faces inches away from each other. The heat in my face went from feeling like a hot day to having a high fever while in the middle of the desert. "I broke your clock!" I shouted and squeezed my eyes shut.

Shikamaru's grip loosened and he sighed, "Then why did you say you were getting a book?"

I opened my eyes, "I wanted to replace it before you noticed…" I explained.

He lets go of my arm and I quickly wrapped it around his neck again, trying not to fall over. Then he reaches behind him and grabs my legs, lifting me into a piggy back as he stood up. "Let's go get me a new one." He said as he took a step.

My eyes widened, "Shikamaru you're not going to—" But by then he was already half way down the hill and I was screaming my lungs out.

"It makes so much sense now…" I mumble.

"That's aside from the point, are you going to tell me the truth or not?" His tone of voice is so different from back then; now he just sounds cold.

I shake my head, "No. I'm not. So can you please just let me finish my work so can go back?"

Shikamaru turns around and starts to walk away, "Fine. Just shout when you're done." He spits out.

"Fine!" I shriek and rip out another branch.

***

Day 4 (Nara Shikamaru)

I'm staring at the ceiling, waiting until the last possible moment to get out of bed. After yesterday's argument with Yuri I don't want to deal with her today. Why can't she just tell me the truth? When my parents used to scream and yell during arguments I swore I'd never be like them (Well it was more like my Mom yelling and my Dad taking it). But now look where I've ended up.

I don't really need to see her until we leave. My grandpa asked me to do some chores around the house and the area, delaying our leave until tomorrow. Meaning I can do my chores all day while she's in her room. But there is the problem of dinner; I can't avoid her there.

I just can't stop thinking about the bubble. The bubble Yuri and I were in right after her accident where it was only the two of us. Sneaking around and secretly seeing each other made our feelings become so much more intense.

So then after she moved out and things were getting back to normal I started to question if how I felt was because of the bubble. My logic was that if it's not the bubble, then that means she's the one. But when she told me no at my door, it just felt like the bubble had burst and I had been wrong about everything.

For two years I managed to push those thoughts out of my mind and now it's all I can think of. Stupid bubble.

After a while I get up out of bed and get dressed. I might as well get the chores done early so I can relax in the evening. When I open the door to my/my dad's room, Yuri comes out of her room a second afterwards. We both flinch when we see each other and she immediately turns and heads to the washroom down the hall. After yesterday's argument I decide to turn the opposite direction and go to the washroom down the stairs. I definitely don't want to poke at a lion while it's half asleep.

After going to the washroom I find my Grandpa sitting at the living room table with a cup of tea in his hand. "Morning." He greets me as I walk over and sit down.

"Morning." I mumble.

"I forgot to ask, could you fill the deer feeders when you get the chance." Great, another chore.

"Sure." There's no use fighting it I guess. I only come out here a few times a year.

"Thanks." He says and drinks again. "Oh and did you know Yuri-chan still calls you Shikamaru?" Grandpa brings up as if it was an afterthought.

I look at him oddly, "What?"

"After breaking up and not talking for two years you would think you two would address each other formally now. Instead you two speak as if you are still close." He comments.

"Well I guess we still are a little." When you're as close to someone as Yuri and I was, I doubt there is any amount of time that could make you feel like strangers.

"A little? The way you two argue it's as if—" my grandpa stops himself.

"What? What were you going to say?" I have a feeling I know without him telling me.

He looks at me, questioning whether or not saying anything is a good idea. "It's as if you're still a couple." Why the hesitation in saying that? Did he expect me to freak out or something? "What exactly happened between the two of you anyways?"

"I'm sure Dad has told you most of the details." I avoid the question. If I won't even tell Choji what really happened, there is no way in hell I'm telling my Grandfather.

"He wasn't that detailed. It was my understanding that you didn't exactly tell him either."

I shrug, "There's not much to say, we were together and then we weren't."

"Both of you seem to be very evasive about the subject. I wonder what really happened…"

I lower my head, "You didn't talk to Yuri about this did you?"

"And if I did?"

I am suddenly very annoyed, "Grandpa, that was rude of you. You should have just left her alone. She's here for her research, not because she wants to be with me."

I'm not entirely convinced of that notion, but my constant thoughts about the bubble are starting to distort my views on the current Yuri. I need to be careful not to make any assumptions, especially since that's how we got into this mess.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." Somehow I doubt that, "I just think you two are a good fit for each other. Your Dad did as well."

"Dad said that?" Makes sense though, considering how much he pushed me towards Yuri after her accident.

"Yes, he said it reminded him of his relationship with Yoshino when they were first dating."

My eyebrow twitched. If that's how Mom and Dad were when they were dating, does that mean Yuri and I will end up like them? I shouldn't even be thinking about this, as of right now there is no Yuri and I.

"Well it doesn't matter what happened, I doubt she'll ever forgive me." I cross my arms across my chest.

"With that kind of thinking you'll never win an argument with her." He took a sip of his tea.

"It's not about winning." I try to loosen up my shoulders. All this arguing has made me so tense. "I just want her to open up. She's so guarded now."

He goes to take another sip of his tea, "You could always kiss her."

I glare at him, "You say that like it's that easy. But even if I did she'd probably just hit me."

"True."

***

It was dinner time and the tension between Yuri and I was worse than yesterday. She was still angry with me and was taking it out on her food.

"Something wrong Yuri-chan?" My grandma asks, very concerned.

"No, nothing Hanako-san." She asserts as she stabs her chop sticks into her salad.

"Yuri—" I start, but then she looks up from her food and glares at me with a glare which I swear is worse than the one my Mom gives my Dad. I look down and pay attention to my food, "Never mind."

"I'm sorry I'm being so rude," Yuri starts, "can I be excused?"

"Sure dear." My grandma tells her and she gets up. Then within 10 seconds Yuri is up the stairs and out of sight.

"You tried to kiss her didn't you?" Grandpa asks me as he reaches for the potatoes with his chopsticks.

I glare at him and move the potatoes out of his reach, "No I didn't… Can I be excused as well?" I stand up and leave, not really waiting for an answer.

I don't really know what it is about her, but whenever she tries to run I always feel as if I have to follow. That it's my duty to make sure she's okay, even if she gives me the worst death glare I've ever seen.

When I'm at the top of the stairs she gives me the same glare as before, "Shikamaru just leave me alone. I don't want to argue with you right now." She tells me and walks into her room.

I run up behind her and put my hand on the door, stopping her from closing it. "Can't we just talk? If the conversation turns to yelling you can shut the door in my face." I tell her, hoping she would listen.

She turns around and looks at me, grasping the door knob in anticipation. "Okay, talk."

I move in a little closer, but she backs off immediately. Looks like being close doesn't affect her like it used to. "I don't care so much about why you came back. I just want to know why you had to come back so quickly."

That's the one thing from yesterday's argument that is still bothering me. Why did she start packing immediately after her Dad died? Didn't she realize what she was doing?

Yuri's expression seems pained; I can tell she doesn't want to tell me. "I didn't see a point in staying." Her hand twists the doorknob back and forth nervously, "I never wanted to be there and my father was the only reason I was. I just… couldn't deal with it anymore."

"Deal with what?" I inquire.

She hesitates and her hand begins to move to her hair, but I grab it before it can. "Tell me the truth."

Yuri tries to jerk her arm free but can't break my grip. She looks me right in the eyes, "Let go." She commands and tries again to no avail.

I shake my head, "No. I want to believe that whatever you tell me right now is the truth." She is absolutely livid, but I have to do this. I can't stand the lies and half truths anymore.

We both stand still for a few moments and the silence is starts to become overwhelming. But she has to be the one to talk first. I have to wait for her to be ready, however long that may take.

After a few more seconds she looks down to the ground, her arm relaxing."Dealing with the façade. I thought that when my Dad died I could finally be upset and people wouldn't question it. But… I couldn't do it."

The truth; it's like music to my ears. "Why were you upset to begin with?"

When I ask this Yuri tries to pull back, but only manages to look away. "Do you really have to ask?" Her cheeks stained dark red.

Crap. Her expression says it all. I always thought I knew the extent of her feelings for me but perhaps they were more serious than I thought. Then again, if I already decided I wanted to marry her back then, did she as well? "I'm sorry." I tell her with the utmost sincerity. "I know in the past I've made mistakes that caused you so much pain, but I'm different now. Just give me a chance to show you that."

She shakes her head in disagreement, "Just because you're older doesn't necessarily mean that you're different. How do I know that in a month's time you won't just come up with another excuse and end it?"

Suddenly, this conversation has turned into one about our relationship. I guess it can't be helped after everything that's happened. However, the way she just phrased that sentence… Could the real reason she decided to come back be… me?

It wasn't the bubble. It wasn't the bubble at all. I was right to go with my gut two years ago. The way I feel isn't some infatuation due to circumstances, it's real.

"I won't." I moved in closer again, I never in my life wanted to hold her as much as I do now. "I promise." I let go of her arm.

I know to her this is an empty promise. I broke all the ones I made to her in the past and she has no reason to believe me. But this time I intend to keep this promise. I'd rather die before I break it.

She doesn't back away like I expect her too; she just stands still for a few moments. "I'm sorry, I can't. I can't do this." She tells me, pushing me out into the hallway and closing the door.

I blink dumbfounded. Was she waiting for me to let go of her the entire time? Then all of a sudden the door shifts a little and I hear a sliding noise followed by a light 'thunk'. I look down and see a shadow under the door; she must be leaning against it. I kneel down in front of the door, "Yuri I wasn't even yelling…" I sigh.

"Just go away." Her voice is muffled, it sounds like she's crying.

"I'm not going to leave." I sigh; convincing her I've changed is going to take a lot of work and consistency.

"Why not?"

"Because I care about you. I mean why else would I argue with you so much?"

She doesn't respond. How can I get through to her? Perhaps if I…

I make some hand symbols and perform a shadow jutsu. I push the shadow underneath the door and try my best to guess where in front of Yuri is. I manipulate the shadow and do some things to get her attention.

"Shikamaru, what are you doing?" I hear her say, and I make the shadow point towards the door.

After a few seconds the door starts to creak open and I see part of her face peek through. "Look, forget about what's going on between us right now." I start, "I just think that you need to stop avoiding your Dad's death. If we learned anything during your accident, its that you always try to bury things and it makes it impossible for you to move on."

Yuri turns her head and it looks like she's about to shut the door. I place my hand on the door and push it open, forcing her to back up. "W-what are you doing?"

"You are not shutting the door in my face again just so you can avoid this." If anything has changed about me since we broke up, it has to be my tolerance for Yuri's need to always avoid things. I'm tired of having to put up with this.

She puts her hands on my chest and starts trying to push me out, "Get out!" she screams, but I don't budge. After a few seconds she begins to cry and I pull her into my arms.

"L-let go!" Yuri keeps pushing against me and I hold on. I sigh. When I did this two years ago it was enough for her to concede immediately.

"Yuri." I say and a few seconds later she gives up. Her hands stay on my chest but she places her head down and lets the tears come out.

Finally.

I have to say, even though she's crying its pretty nice having her in my arms again. I never realized before how much she just seems to fit into me; like she's molded perfectly to complete me.

But there's something missing. If there is any indicator of how much I screwed up it's Yuri's resistance. I had to force her into a lot of this which makes me a little uncomfortable. She's become so closed off; I never thought she would be like this with me. She's so argumentative, it's troubling…

I need to figure out how I can get her to forgive me and to let me back in. I screwed her up and now I owe it to her to help her get better. Funny, this is exactly the same thinking I had when she had her accident. The only difference is now the one who hurt her is me.

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All Naruto characters and Naruto ideals (c) to Masashi Kishimoto. Any original ideas and original characters (c) Copyright 2006-2010 to Karol of Sky's Content. All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of Karol AKA Sonicfan94.