(04) Falling In Love Was The Best Idea I Ever Had [Bert McCracken]

I don't know why I was at this party. It was being held by some guy I didn't know named Brandon, and Bert had brought Roxy. Scratch that, she just randomly showed up. I don't quite care; I was more content with my bottle of vodka that I seemed to be throwing back quite quickly. I'm sitting at the kitchen counter, watching Jeph and Quin beat two guys at beer pong. I haven't moved since Roxy showed up. I look through the crowd of people and see two familiar faces going up the stairs. Roxy and Bert. I couldn't help but feel slightly sick. He was complaining about her earlier. Then she shows up and throws her size C's in his face in her little tank top and he's gone. I'm sick of that whore taking my best friend all of the time. I look down at my bottle.

It's halfway gone and I don't feel a buzz at all. That's what I get for getting the cheap shit I guess. Jeph comes over after the winning toss and hugs me.

"Fuck yeah! We won!" He says and lifts me off of the chair slightly.

"Are you drunk?" I ask him.

"Nah. Just buzzin. What about you?"

"I'm not even buzzed." He looks at my bottle.

"Well then who drank your vodka?"

"No one. I've been sitting here shooting it back." I answer and look up at him. I was being completely honest. I wasn't even coasting. I was completely sober.

"Have you moved at all? Like, stood up?" He asks me. I shake my head. "Aw shit, Ashton." He says and shakes his head. He walks off and I shrug it. What was the fuss anyways? I keep doing more shots by myself until some guy walks up.

"Hey what's up? I'm Brandon." He extends his hand for a fist pump. I hit his fist with my own and nod. "Liking my party?"

I don't want to be a total bitch so I lie. "Yeah. It's pretty okay. I haven't really done much, but it's pretty okay. Tons of people though."

"Yeah," he nods. "yeah there's TONS of people. Invite two people, they invite two people, et cetera. It's a nice long cycle. Whatcha drinkin'?"

"Vodka." I say as I down another shot.

"Care if I shoot one with ya?" I shake my head from the bitter taste.

"Nah dude, go ahead. More the merrier." He grabs a shot glass and we both take a shot at the same time. "Nice to meet you." I say and grimace again with the taste.

"Yeah, you too. Well I'll be seeing you around. Gotta go check on the guests and make sure no one is breaking shit." I nod as he walks off. I sit there and look at my bottle. It was only a quarter full by now.

Quin and Jeph come up and look at me. "What?" I ask as I look at both of their faces. Quin reaches for my bottle and I slap his hand. "Uh uh. You can ask like everyone else would."

"Ashton, I'm not drinking this. I'm fine with where I'm at. You need to quit. You're gonna stand up and the world is going to spin and you're going to drop." Quin says and reaches again.

"Naw, fuck that. I gotta finish this. I am NOT wasting my money."

"Ashton you really need to stop. Quin's right." Jeph says and comes around the counter to my side.

"Nah. I'm fine." I say and start to stand up.

I think I'm on the floor before I even fully make it off of the chair. I start to giggle uncontrollably. "Hahah. Jeph. Why are you waaaaaaay up theree?" I can hear myself slurring and I become even more amused.

"Because I'm standing. We told you this would happen. Let's get you up and into a bed." Jeph says and picks me up.

"Woahh. You're so strong." I say and giggle more. I lay my head on Jeph's shoulder and we walk around to Quin. I pick up a strand of Quin's hair. "Do you knowww how wwhite your hairr isss? It'ss like... whiiiite."

"I know Ashton. I dyed it that way." He says and puts my hand back over Jeph's shoulder. We start walking through the living room and up the stairs. My stomach starts turning and I feel sicker than I ever have before.

"J-jephaaaah. B-bathroom."

"Fuck. Okay." He says and looks desparately for a bathroom. Bert walks out into the hallway.

"What the fuck is going on? What's wrong with Ashton?!" He asks and looks at me.

"She just had a lot to drink and it hit her all at once. Me and Quin are going to get her into bed and we're going to sit with her. She drank three quarters of a bottle of vodka."

"Ashton are you okay?" I notice the concern on Bert's face and it makes my heart jump a little.

"Bert..." I start and move the hair from my face. His hair is a complete mess and his zipper is undone. "Come 'ere... I has a ssecerrret..." I say and pull his ear to my mouth. "Fuck youu and yourr R-Roxy sexxxx huur. Zipp up your goddamn flyy, yooou dizzgusttiiing fuck." He pulls back and glares at me with sad eyes. "Jeph... I got to puke." I say and pull on his shirt.

"I know, Ashton. I found a bathroom. Bert watch out. We got her. You just go have fun, okay? She'll be fine in the morning. I swear." Jeph says and we go into the bathroom. He closes the door and sets me down in front of the toilet. I lean over it and stare down into the bowl. "Hey buddy, I got your hair. Just throw that all up, and you'll feel better." He says and rubs my back as he pulls my hair away from my face. He sits on the corner of the bathtub and I continue staring down into the bowl.

"Jeph, I'm soo sorryyy." I say and start crying. "I'm ruining thaa partayyy forr youu." I say and lay my head in his lap and put my arms around his waist. "I'm soo so-sorryyy!!" I start bawling and I feel pathetic.

"No, no no, Ashton don't be sorry. I promise. I had a good time. I was tired of it anyways. I'm not mad at you at all." Quin comes in and I look at him.

"Quin! I'm sorryyyy!" I say and bawl even more. He comes over and rubs my back as I cry into his lap. "I ruiiined the partyyy f-for b-both of youuuuu."

"No you didn't. I promise. That party is the last thing on mine and Jeph's mind. We just want to make sure you're okay." I cry even more and put my arms around both of their sides.

"I love you guys soooo much. I r-r-really dooo." I say and cry even more. "Hug me back!" I say through sobs. I feel their arms circle around me and hug me tight. "No-not that tight. I- puke," I say and swing around to the toilet and let it all come out. I feel a hand rubbing my back and someone holding my hair back.

"There you go, just let it alll out babygirl." I hear Quin's voice say. I feel miserable as I choke up the stuff into the toilet.

"Do you feel better?" Quin asks as I lay my head on Jeph's leg. I nod my head and breathe in and out. "Do you want any scope to get the taste out of you mouth?" I nod again. I hear some ruffling around on the counter and Quin hands me a small paper cup full of green liquid. I swish it around some and then spit it into the toilet.

"Ready to sleep now?" Jeph asks and I nod again. He and Quin get me off of the floor and one of them flushes the toilet. "Aw damn, Quin." Jeph says and I close my eyes. "She got some puke on her shirt."

"Fuck. We'll just take it off of her and put her under the covers. Hopefully she won't be mad at us."


Jeph's POV
"I hope." I agreed with Quin. I follow Quin into a darkened bedroom and lay Ashton on the bed.

"Q-quin." She stutters.

"Yeah?" He asks and leans over to hear her.

"I love you man. I do. But-but please get out. I want you to go have fun. And I wanna have funn." She whispers and he looks up at me.

"Jeph...?"

"I got it. Just go. It'd be weird anyways." I say and look at him. I had a point. Two guys in a room with a drunk girl just wasn't right. He agrees with me and leaves.

"Jephbear. Get these clothes offffff." She slurrs and I feel uneasy, nervous. I didn't know what I should do. I get her shoes off and set them on a chair. I slowly, hands shaking start to take her top off. "Jeph, you're sooooo nervouss. Why?"

"I'm not nervous." I say defensively.

"Pshhhh." She makes a sound and turns her head to the side. She looks completely flawless. Her skin is amazing, and her body is the most perfect thing I've ever seen. "Pantsss. I don't needdd my pantsss." She says and I start to undo them. My breathing becomes uneven as I pull them off of her. I set everything of hers on the chair with her shoes and pull her up. I move the covers and put her small, beautiful body under them. She finally opens her eyes and stares at me with her gorgeous greens. "Jeph. Get in bed with mee." She says and closes her eyes again. I pull the covers over her and lay on top of them next to her. "Noooo." She says through a whine. "You're doing it wronngggg." She says and looks at me again. "Take your clothes off and get under the coversss. I'm collddd..." She says and continues to stare at me. I get up and kick my shoes off. I take my shirt off and throw it to the chair where her stuff is sitting. She smiles up at me and my heart does this weird leapy thingy. I can't lie, I have a huge crush on Ashton, I have since the first day. She was just so gorgeous and perfect in every way. I was honestly scared that what I really wanted to happen, was happening now. I leave my jeans on the floor and climb into bed with her. I feel her body inch over to mine. She lays her arm over my chest and I slightly shiver as her breath hits the side of my neck.

"Ashton..." I say lightly as she kisses my neck. "I don't know if you should be doing this right now. You're so drunk."

"This is what I want." She says and nibbles my ear. I let out a groan and her hand starts creeping over my stomach. I pick her up and lay her on top of me. She starts to kiss me and my heart is racing. We roll over and I'm on top now.

"Ashton..." I say as she bites my neck. "Are you sure? Do you really want this?" She pulls my hair and makes me look at her.

"Jephhh. This is what I want." I finally give in.