Sky's Content (Nara Shikamaru) [20]

I've Missed You Too

Day 5 (Sukai Yuri)

Shikamaru's back. I've been staring at it for the past few hours and it seems like no matter how much time goes by I'm still in awe at how nice it looks. He's in his full ninja gear. It hasn't changed much in the past few years except for the fact that he seems to be carrying new pouches. I guess the old ones broke or couldn't fit something.

Since we left this morning we've been walking in silence. After everything that's happened the past few days I don't really know how I'm supposed to act around him. I mean, what should I do? We spent the past four days arguing with each other and talking about our issues, but now it feels like there's nothing else to talk about. Or at least I have nothing else that I want to talk about.

All of this has just brought up a whirlwind of emotions, emotions I haven't been anywhere near feeling in years. It feels like at any moment I'm going to burst out crying from all of this. For so long I wondered why everything happened the way it did, only to find out my Uncle orchestrated most of it and the rest was all Shikamaru's inability to step up.

But... And this is a big but. These have been some of the most interesting days I've had in the longest time. I'm actually having a hard time comprehending it. I don't understand how Shikamaru's presence is enough to make me feel like... I'm actually living my life. For so long I felt stuck and now it feels like I'm actually going somewhere. Actually doing something.

His stupid back. I let myself cry in front of him once, and it feels like I'm already forgiving him for everything.

I was going to complain some more mentally, but I trip on a stick or something and fall face first into the dirt. "Ow." I mumble into the ground.

Shikamaru immediately turns around and kneels down to me, helping me sit up. He touches me with no hesitation, something I wouldn't have been able to do. "Are you alright?" He asks. His quick reaction seeming a little too quick...

I nod, "Yeah, I'm fine." I confirm and go to stand up, but the second I put pressure on my right foot, pain shoots up and down my ankle.

I immediately lie back down, "You sure you're alright?" he asks again.

"Just give me like..." I pause to try to think up of a reasonable amount of time, "three days." So much for that.

Shikamaru sighs and walks around to my ankle to take a look. He takes off my shoe and I immediately pull my foot back, "W-What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" He questions, somewhat sarcastically and grabs my foot, removing my sock.

He then tries to bend my ankle, but I pull it away the second he touches it. "How did you manage to twist it so badly?" He raises an eyebrow.

I point to the root I tripped on, "That's how." I explain.

He chuckles and looks around, "We should put a splint on it." He stands and grabs a few sticks from the ground and pulls out some bandages from one of his pouches.

I watch him as he wraps my ankle. He places the tape in such a specific way; I'm assuming he's done this a million times. It just seems like all he ever does is try to take care of me. Well, when he's not breaking my heart that is.

Once he finishes wrapping my ankle he stands up and holds his hand out for me to take. I quickly place my shoe and sock into my pack, but when I go to take his hand my stomach leaps and I hesitate. He sees this and reaches out to me anyways, taking my hand and lifting me to my feet. "Get on my back." Shikamaru orders me as he moves his pack to his side.

I shake my head, "No way. I distinctly remember the last time I did you ran down a hill the fastest you could."

"Just get on." He says somewhat irritated, "If you want to get back home at a decent time this is the only option."

I pout, "Fine." And I gesture for him to turn around. He turns and kneels down, making it easier for me to get on. My stomach leaps again, but this time I don't let it stop me and I wrap my arms around his neck, letting him lift my off the ground.

Shikamaru starts to walk and I try to concentrate on the dense forest around us. I know Kohona is supposed to be one of the hidden villages, but does it have to be so deep in the forest? I mean like, all the other ninja nations know where it is anyways, so what's the point? Or at least I think all the other nations know where it is…

I look down to the ground and I notice Shikamaru's shadow in the mix of sticks, leaves and soil. Then I realize he's not only carrying me, but both of our packs and pretty easily at that. I didn't realize he was that strong, wow...

"What are you thinking about?" Shikamaru suddenly asks out of nowhere.

"How strong you are." I answer him honestly.

He laughs, "Sort of comes with the job description."

"True." I say and look down to his ponytail.

I used to pull out his ponytail back in the day to annoy him. It was pretty funny since each time he would look at me like it was the first time I did it. Should I do it now? I mean he's sort of out in the open. There's no way he can stop me.

"Don't even think about it." Shikamaru tells me.

"Think about what?" I question.

"I hated when you did it two years ago and I still do." He says, not even referencing the elastic.

I smile a little, "I wasn't thinking about doing that at all." I tease.

"Sure you weren't," he comments sarcastically.

I change the subject, "So then, what about you has changed? I mean yesterday you were going on and on about how different you are and everything." It feels weird how openly I can talk about yesterday, but then again, that shadow jutsu he did yesterday was so ridiculous I couldn't help but laugh. I can't believe that after all this time he still knows how to make me smile.

"I wasn't going on and on," he mutters under his breath. "Well I'm a jounin now for starters."

"So you go on more dangerous missions then before?"

"I wouldn't say more dangerous... I just have more responsibility."

"How annoying." I comment.

He nods, agreeing with me."I also do some work at the academy. Which is kind of ironic since when I was there all I wanted was to get away." Shikamaru continues.

I laugh, "Really? Didn't you used to sleep in class?" I ask, pretending not to know the answer.

"Yeah… I remember Iruka getting really mad. It was kind of funny actually," Shikamaru recalls. "What about you?"

I'm assuming Shikamaru means what is new with me. "Well…" I start, trying to think of what to say. "Instead of doing just research, I research and breed different plants now. It's mostly just herbs I deal with, nothing like the rare plants I used to look at." I explain, "Other than that, nothing else has really changed. All I would do in Suna is work and take care of my Father, which got more time consuming as he got worse."

There's a pause and Shikamaru readjusts his grip on my legs, "Last time we were out here you never let me say how sorry I am about what happened to your Dad." That's right, last time I cut him off. "Even though we had our differences, I would never want to wish that on anyone."

I rest my head on his, "It's too bad you two didn't get a chance to sort things out."

He nods, "Yeah."

After a couple of hours talking about the past two years, Shikamaru and I stop to camp for the night. He sets me down on the ground and walks across the empty clearing, placing his pack down. "I'm going to go get some stuff for the fire." He tells me and walks off into the forest.

And just like before he's going to sit on the other side of the fire. The past few days have only scratched the surface of our problems. I just never thought that I'd want him sitting next to me as badly as I want him to now.

When he comes back he throws a bunch of sticks on the ground in between his pack and me.

"Shikamaru." I say.

He doesn't look at me as he responds, "Yeah?"

"Can you sleep next to me tonight? With my ankle I don't think it's that good of an idea for you to be so far..." I lie. Well, probably it's not a lie. Just because I have ulterior motives doesn't mean my reasoning is wrong.

"Sure." He says another one word response and grabs his pack. He walks over to my left and places his bag next to me, then goes back to the fire.

After everything that happened yesterday, I feel like I owe him a proper answer to his question of 'Why did I come back?' I don't want to say it's because of him but the more we talk the more I realize it's true. I came back for him. He left me crying on the floor outside his apartment and I still came back for him. There must be something wrong me because anyone else in their right mind would have moved on.

"Shikamaru." I say again, getting his attention.

"Yeah?" He asks again, this time turning to face me. The second he does that it feels like all the air in my lungs has disappeared.

I take in a deep breath, trying to build up the courage to tell him. "I—" I look to the ground and start playing with my hair. "I need to tell you something."

"Another lie?" He says without hesitation.

I look down to my hand and pull it away from my hair. "Hey, I'm trying to tell you the truth here. Just give me a second to prepare myself."

Shikamaru's then drops the sticks he was holding into the fire he started and walked back over to me, sitting next to me. "What truth?" He asks.

"About why I came back," I start, pulling my knees up to my chest.

I expect him to come up with some witty come back but there is none. He's just waiting for my response. "I came back because yes, Kohona is my home, but it's more because—" I start but cut myself off. I've never actually said this out loud, not even to myself.

I came back because of him; because we have all this unfinished business. We never had that 'this is the end of our relationship' conversation. I don't want to be the girl that does all this stupid stuff for a guy but… He's kind of a great one.

"Because why?" Shikamaru asks after a few seconds.

I look over to him, my mouth ajar. I want to say why. I want to tell him what I just thought, but I don't think I'm ready to.

He senses my hesitation and turns to me, trying to grab my arms but I pull away. It seems like my automatic response now is so shy away from anyone's touch.

When I pull away he looks away, back to the fire and turns back to the way he was. "Yuri, you don't have to explain right now. If you don't want to, you don't have to."

I want to tell him. I want to talk to him like I used to, but I can't. So instead I remain quiet and grab a stick off the ground, drawing into the dirt. He stares at me for a few seconds and sighs, giving up and going back to the fire.

My eyes flicker to him at the fire. His back is really amazing.

***

Day 6 (Nara Shikamaru)

I feel unusually warm.

I open my eyes and look over to the source of heat and blink a few times to makes sure I'm seeing right. Yuri is holding onto my arm in her sleep, looking like it's the most natural thing in the world.

I was about to pull my arm out when she moves, readjusting her grip on my arm. When she's awake she's always so tense and guarded, but now she's so relaxed. It's hard to believe how much of difference there is in her demeanour.

Last night she was so close to telling me why she came back. I honestly think it was because of me, as bad that sounds. But is it really so bad if it's the truth? I mean look at how cute she is, holding onto my arm like this.

I become uncomfortable and try to adjust, but it causes Yuri to stir. Crap. Crap. Crap. I freeze as I watch her open her eyes and slowly register what's happening.

"Why are you so close to me? Am I dreaming again?" She asks me, half the words coming out jumbled.

I raise an eyebrow as she shakes her head and answers her own question, "No it can't be a dream. It feels too real." And yet, she is still holding onto my arm.

If she thinks she's sleeping, I'm going to use this chance to get out all of the things she would kill me for if I told her. Not to mention this is my chance to see exactly how much of her feelings for me she is suppressing.

With my free hand, I begin to play with her long hair. Ever since I saw she grew her hair out all I've wanted to do is mess around with it. "I like your hair longer. It looks nice." I comment.

"Try having long hair in a desert. It's not so nice then." She replies and hugs my arm a little tighter.

I laugh a little, "Then why grow it out?"

"Because Keisuke likes shorter hair." Yuri mumbles.

"Keisuke?"

"My Dad's apprentice. Well former apprentice. He like loved me or something."

The second she said loved I felt a pulling in my stomach. Urgh. The idea of Yuri with someone else feels so wrong. So much so when I try to say something all that comes out is: "Oh."

She doesn't hesitate in responding though, "don't worry. I only care about you." She turns to me, wrapping her arms around my chest. "I'm definitely sleeping right?"

My eyebrow twitches. If she didn't think she was sleeping then why did she just do that?

"If you were actually awake, would I do this?" I tell her and lean down, kissing her.

I know I'm evil and probably acting out of jealousy, but whatever.

When I pull away, she smiles and puts her hand on my neck pulling me back down. I guess she didn't like Keisuke. Or rather, doesn't like him anymore.

Then as we're mid kiss I feel her hand move from my neck to my hair. I pull away to stop her but by then it's too late and my hair falls down. She grins and holds the elastic band in the air like it's some sort of trophy, "You have no idea how much I wanted to do that yesterday!" She giggles.

I glare at her and grab it back from her, sitting up. "Isn't it about time you woke up?" I tell her and throw my pillow into her face.

I quickly fix my hair and I hide behind in a tree in the forest, so that she can 'wake up'. I should have known that was coming...

I grab some thick sticks and walk back to the camp, "Hey Yuri, are you awake yet? I got some new sticks for your splint; these should work better than the ones from yesterday." I lie. It doesn't really matter which sticks you use.

She sits up and touches her lips with her fingers, "I don't even remember waking up... weird..." She comments to herself and I put the sticks down beside her sleeping bag.

***

After a few hours of walking I put Yuri down to give my back a break. She's doing something with the plants she got, making sure they live or whatever and I'm just walking around in a circle drinking some water.

We're about ten kilometres outside Kohona so our time together is coming to an end. I don't know when I'll see her again, but I know the next time I do I don't want it to be because I'm jumping through her window.

I want to be with her. I want her to forgive me and for us to go back to how we were two years ago, but I know it's not that easy. I look over to her and god does she look gorgeous. If I want to be with her I need to take some steps; I need a plan.

I spend the next minute or so running over different scenarios in my head and it all returns to this one idea. To be with her I need to gain her trust. To gain her trust I need to be in her life for more than just one week. To be in her life for more than a week I need to have some semblance of a relationship with her, something more than just her escort.

So I need to be her friend.

"Yuri." I say.

She looks up from her plants, "Yeah?"

I take in a deep breath and think about what I'm going to say to her for a second. "Look I know we've been through a lot, but can we be friends?"

I look at her to gage her reaction. She doesn't seem super shocked, so I continue."Everything we've been through the past few days… It seems sort of a waste to go through all that just to end up not talking to each other again." I explain to her. There's a lot more reasons than just that, but that seems like the one she'd accept the most.

I expect her to take pause and think about it, or to try to evade the subject. But she immediately says, "Sure. I was thinking the same thing."

I smile. I need to show her that I'm not just going to leave her the second I get the chance to and this is the way. This is how we got together to begin with; we became friends and slowly got to know each other. All I need is for her to see how different things are now and she'll reconsider.

Hopefully.

***

"We're home," I tell her as I step into the Kohona gates. Carrying Yuri for so long is starting to make me a little sore. Thank god we're here.

"I would ask if you knew where I lived, but apparently you do." She comments, adjusting her grip around my neck.

I try to laugh it off, "Yeah, about that..."

She stops me before I can continue, "You don't have to explain. I sort of spied on you too."

"Really? When?" Interesting.

Yuri hesitates for a second before responding, "Well one time I went by the bench and you happened to be sleeping."

"Oh, well that's not too surprising. Nothing like what I did." While it's not surprising, it does mean she went out of her way to see me. Was that the only time or were there others?

"True… How did you even get up there? It's like four stories." She questions me.

"Oh well I just put chakra in my feet and—" I start to explain it to her but she cuts me off.

"So it's a ninja thing?"

I laugh and nod, "Yeah, it is."

"Figures. I haven't been around ninjas in so long. Everyone I dealt with in Suna was just normal people."

"Normal people? You say that like I'm a freak or something."

"Well you are. I mean you walk up walls." Yuri tells me and I furrow my eyebrows. I forgot how she can spin things around like this.

When we get to her building she reaches for the handle of the door. "Here let me put you down." I tell her and start walking to the side, but she shakes her head.

"Nooo. I can do it." She tells me and leans over so far I almost fall over.

"Sheesh! Watch it!" I say and adjust my balance, almost colliding into the wall. And yet she's still leaning over reaching for that god damn door knob.

"This is like the time with the clock. Just let me do this." I tell her and put her down.

"I can do it!" She says and uses me for support, walking over to the door and opens it.

I stare at her while she has the biggest grin on her face, like a toddler who learned he can stand. "This is exactly like the clock." I tell her and hold the door open, only to have to a pick her up again after she takes two steps on her ankle.

"What the hell did you do to this thing?" I ask her, looking at my mangled clock.

"Uhm…" Yuri looks at the clock then turns to the new one, "Don't ask."

I roll my eyes and grab the box for the new clock, pulling at the tape. "I can do it." Yuri says and pulls the box out of my hands.

I sigh and watch her as she attempts to lift the tape to no avail. "Here I can get it." I say and reach for the clock, but the second I do she pulls it out of my reach.

"I can do it!" She says again and I glare at her, reaching for the clock again.

Then out of nowhere she kisses me on the cheek, "What the—?" I raise an eyebrow at her and lower my hand.

"Got it!" She says and pulls the tape off the box.

"Jerk." I tell her while she has the biggest grin on her face.

***

At her apartment I lean forward so she can put her key in the slot and unlock the door, avoiding the need for her to reach for it. Once she opens it, she grabs the knob and turns it, pushing the door open.

I place her down on the couch and walk over to the refrigerator, opening up the freezer. I then pull out a tray of ice cubes and start preparing a cold pack. "Make sure to put the ice on for 20 minutes, then off for 20." I tell her.

Once I'm done I walk back over to her, and pull out a chair from the table. I place the chair beside the couch and gently rest her foot on the seat. I wrap the cold pack around her ankle and turn to her, "Tomorrow morning I'm going to come and look at your ankle. If it doesn't look any better we're going to the hospital whether you want to or not."

Her expression goes from tired to worried, "What?" I question.

She looks away from me, "Do you really think it's a good idea that you come tomorrow?"

Then it hits me. Just because we're friends again doesn't mean she wants to spend all her free time with me like she used to.

"I mean, just because you were stuck with me for six days, it doesn't mean that you have to come back. You shouldn't feel obligated to see me just because I got hurt." Yuri blurts out. So it's not that she doesn't want to see me, she's just worried I don't want to see her.

"Yuri, I'm not going to run away the first chance I get. I don't want to come by tomorrow because I feel obligated to; I want to come by because I want to. But if you don't want me to I won't." I explain to her.

She looks to the side, unsure. This is just like last night. One second she's close to telling me something, and then she gets afraid and stays quiet. So I go to stand up and put some distance between us, but the second I move away her hand reaches out to mine.

"Wait." I stop the second she says it. A feeling of hope slowly starting to make its way into my chest.

"My mind keeps telling me that I should tell you no, but..." She squeezes my hand and looks at me with an expression I know all too well.

"I've missed you too." I tell her and squeeze back.