..THE MUGGLE LIFE..PART 12..I'M BACK!!

"Bobby...Bobby, wake up, we're here..."

"Leave me 'lone..."

"No, Bobby, c'mon--"

"Cook yer own breakfast..."

"...what??"

"What?" I opened my eyes cautiously to find Harry's own returning my gaze. "Harry? Why are--" suddenly the events of last night flooded my mind and I smiled briefly before frowning again. "Now can you tell me what's going on?"

Harry laughed. "My, but you're persistant."

"That's what they tell me--"

"Harry? Coming?" The man I remembered so long ago as Remus had stuck his head into the limo through the open door to my left as he looked from Harry to me. "Hello, Bobby."

" 'Lo..."

"We're going to keep you safe, Bobby. We're watching over you, don't be afraid..." I hadn't even registered that I was afraid until Remus brought it up, but the more his yellow-ish eyes bore into mine, the more reassured I felt. "Chocolate?"

"Pardon?" I asked as he began searching around on his person.

"Don't mind him," Harry started. "He's just got a fixation with chocolate, but we've got to get inside and get you to a proper bed--"

"I'm not tired, Harry! I want to know--"

"I know, and you will, all right? But a limo isn't exactly where I pictured telling you...well, all this..."

"Okay--"

"Shall we?" Remus smiled, holding out an elbow for me to take. I wobbled wearily up a walkway towards a terribly unkempt, hanging-by-it's-door-hinges house (if you could call it that).

It hit me like a ton of bricks: I was going to die. Harry had kidnapped me. He was going to chop me into little pieces and make Chocolate chip and Bobby Lloyd cookies for his friend Remus and they'd both sit around, sipping tall glasses of milk between bites, joking about how American girls are "so gullible."

As we reached the porch, I started to panic. "Harry...Harry take me back. Take me back right now. You don't want to kill me. You don't want to eat me! I swear I'll taste horrible!"

"Bobby, what the Hell are you talking about?"

"Look at this place! If you were me, would you follow you in there?!?"

"Haha!" Harry half-grimaced and half-chuckled at my accusations. "Yes Bobby, our..." his eyebrows scrunched for a minute as he searched for a word, "friendship...was all a ploy. Mwahaha. I'm going to kill you now!"

"Quit teasing!!"

"Well think about it a minute! If you were me wouldn't you laugh at yourself??"

My eyes narrowed as I tried to figure that one out, but he wouldn't let me hesitate long. "Inside. Let's go."

"But Harry--!" Remus stepped in first and Harry wrapped one around my waist from behind and another crept to my face to cover my mouth.

His breath was hot in my ear as he said in a whisper, "We have to be absolutely silent, yeah?"

I nodded and practically melted under his touch. We walked awkwardly toward a staircase (it comforted me somewhat that he wasn't taking me to the basement. You know, that whole...cutting me up into tiny pieces bit...).

the fun part...
"One step...two step...one step...two step..." Harry chanted still as close as he had been before. It was becoming increasingly hard to concentrate with him so close to me, so really, it was his fault when I missed the sixth step up and tripped, causing me to fall forward and smack my chin on the tenth step and causing him to tumble back, in an attempt to keep from falling on me, and land with several loud thumps on the Ground Level floor.

IT was quiet for a minute as mine and Harry's eyes locked, then the whole room erupted with the sound of shrieks and screams:

"MUDBLOOOOD!!! HOW DARE YOU--HOW DARE YOU BRING SUCH FILTH INTO MY HOUSE!!! MUGGLE, MUDBLOODED, NON-MAGICAL, FILTH!!!!!"

"HARRY!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?"

"CURSES! CURSES ON YOU AND ON YOUR OFFSPRING YOU TRAITOR!!!"

Harry quickly jumped up and ushered me up the stairs either protecting me from the source of the screeching, or keeping me from knowing where it was really coming from.

"OY! HARRY!!! YOU'RE BACK!!!" I looked up and saw Ron ahead of us having just stepped out of one of the rooms upstairs undoubtedly due to the noise.

"YOU SHALL ROT YOU--"

"OH HUSH UP WITH YOU, EH?" Ron cried in the direction of the downstairs and pulled us inside. Within a short amount of time the shouting had stopped, leaving me in a bedroom with Ron, Hermione, and Harry, waiting for answers.

"Well?"

"'Well' what?" Harry asked, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose painfully.

"Idiocy truly doesn't suit you Harry. Tell me what's going on!"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you! I don't even believe it sometimes!!"

"Harry please! Don't you trust me?? Don't you trust me enough to trust you?!?"

"She's right you know Harry..." Hermione piped in.

"Shutup Hermione!"

"Harry! You're out of line, mate!" Ron interrupted. "Now just calm down..." He put a hand on his best friend's shoulder before plopping down on a bed next to Hermione.

"All right then...you want to know, Bobby? I mean, really? There's no going back. You'll just have to accept it. Of course we could Obliterate you, but that's a messy process--"

"You'd blow me up?!" I asked, exasperated, slowly moving towards the door.

"No! That's not what it means!"

"Don't snap at me!"

"I wasn't snapping!!!"

"Don't yell at me!!!"

"I'M NOT YELLING!!!!!"

"Harry you--"

"I KNOW RON!!! I KNOW I'M YELLING!!!!!"

"Harry," I said, going to him to hug him. He seemed pained, and extremely clingy, as if he believe that was the last embrace we'd ever share. "Just tell me."

"Okay...Bobby...Me, Ron, and Hermione are...Ron, Hermione, and I are...well, Ron and I are...we're...wizards...and Hermione's a witch. We go to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. To learn magic like every good little witch and wizard of our age. What do you think of that?"

Before I could stop it, I burst into a long stream of unadulterated laughter.

Wizards. Riiight.
rates high and messages...even though the author is a jerk...
*waves* Hi guys! heh. yeah...I kinda sorta have no excuse for not updating...I just...forgot...? And today Harry Potter 2 came on and it brought me back to my story writing days, so I went and checked my messages and there were death threats, and people asking if I had fallen down a well and died, and people giving me guilt trips... I felt bad because I'd really just forgotten lol So chill guys! Pop a Valium and you'll be fine. I'm back. *Dannie