Spouse selection: Why family opinion matters

A truly happy relationship needs both the romantic element and the familial element; only when the two combine entails matrimonial bliss. At first glance this statement seems to support the practise of dating to find yourself a life partner. It is very difficult to evaluate potential life partners by dating them, the concept is flawed at it’s core at it blinds people from truly knowing each other. Let’s elaborate, dating is flawed because people are on their best behavior, looks etc. when they are on a date – that is not their true selves but how they want the world to perceive them. Thus, on a date it is very difficult to truly know a person, and one might be misled by the fancy feathers the other person puts on show. The very fact that more than 50% of marriages in the west end in divorce is testament to how inefficient and misleading the process of dating is for finding a soulmate.
Another downside to dating is the large number of frivolous relationships it results in and, more often than not, it ends in someone getting hurt. The root cause of this is the fact that dating, at its core, is based on carnal attraction and not on the emotional and intellectual aspects – the very things that matter in the long term.
Inspite of the numerous shortcomings of the dating process, most people find it intensely romantic and blinding in its drive and passion. Surely those starlit river cruises for The One whilst eating caviar are height of romantic felicity? Surely. But eventually, after a few failed dates, candle lit dinners and other frivolities feel tedious and boring Setbacks in relationships of the heart can cause psychological damage and one might be subjected to such by just dating or getting romantically involved with the wrong person. Moreover, illicit relationships and troubled romances leave their prints on our lives and continue to affect one’s future as well.
So what’s the alternative? Islam teaches that finding a spouse should be a collaborative task between both the man and woman, and their families. The interaction between the families and the prospective bride and groom enables them to evaluate each other and determine their mutual compatibility. This process is much better at doing this than dating, as firstly wiser and more disinterested and cool-headed people are involved. Secondly, to bring the two families together creates a much stronger and supportive bond around the two individuals and makes it likely the relationship will be a long-term and stable one.
Design Molvi aspires to be synonymous with enduring traditional values of matrimony, and to promote the exchange of islamic gifts that arouse curiosity and encourage discussion, they have introduced the “I only do Edible Dates” Islamic t-shirts design. This joins the “husband & wife: partners in faith” design which makes the profound statement that marriage is both a social, religious, and spiritual union and something encouraged in Islam. Ultimately, Design Molvi aims to put a different slant to the Qur’anic ayah which says that one’s spouse is a garment for oneself. To see our range of islamic clothing, please visit www.DesignMolvi.com