ஐHatake Kakashiஐ Entangled in a Missing Memory ❧008❧

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Chapter 8: Tension

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Last night was horrible, he thought as he made his way to a familiar apartment. There was the faintest dull throb in his temples from the alcohol, but nothing significant. Luckily enough for Kakashi, the conversation had eventually shifted away from Hideaki and Rairakku's scandal, but he suspected the mental images from the discussion would forever be in his mind. He was hoping to collect himself a little more before having to confront her. Unfortunately, the Hokage was currently asking for the both of them.

Kakashi spotted the red-headed man slipping out of her apartment as he neared the door. "Hideaki? What are you doing here?" he asked, frowning. After the conversation from the night before, he felt particularly suspicious of the Akashio's intentions.

"Quieter! Please!" the red head whispered back harshly, a hand massaging his throbbing temples. Kakashi should have suspected that he'd be this hung over. After all, Hideaki had blacked out last night. Izumo and Kotetsu, who were only slightly less drunk, had been charged with the task of getting him home. Then a thought struck Kakashi; Hideaki was acting awfully casual considering the conversation that had taken place the night before. Perhaps he had forgotten the whole thing after he passed out?

"Why does everything have to be so loud today? Damn." To answer Kakashi's question, he held up a bottle of unknown liquid. "Rairakku-chan has this little hangover cure she makes for me, after she yells my ear off for getting so smashed, of course," he chuckled before flinching. "And I thought it'd be best to check on her; that thing's still bothering her, you know? Anyway, what are you doing here?"

"The Hokage has asked for her," Kakashi blinked incredulously. "Something's bothering her? What do you mean?" She hadn't actually told him reason she had been so distracted lately, but apparently Hideaki knew.

The other man's emerald eyes shimmered. "Oh, she didn't tell you?" he inquired innocently, trying and failing to hide the smirk spreading across his lips. Hideaki would never admit it to anyone, but he often got jealous of the fact that Rairakku was seemed closer to Kakashi than she was to him. This was proof that the russet haired woman trusted him with certain things she didn't trust Kakashi with. "Well, I'd better not say anything then. It was really personal, and she'd probably get mad at me for telling you. Later!"

The younger male strode off towards the stairs with a particular spring in his step, leaving a slightly agitated Kakashi in his wake. How much did Rairakku not trust him with?

Rairakku exited the apartment only seconds later. Her turquoise shirt was a little disheveled, and she took a moment to adjust the front zipper straighten out its heightened collar. Kakashi frowned at her messy exterior as she smoothed out her black skirt, but shook those suspicious thoughts away. Now he was just being paranoid. Hideaki had most likely disrupted her sleep. "Oh, 'morning Kakashi," came her mumbled greeting, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He cleared his throat, almost uncomfortably, in the lilac's opinion. "Hokage-sama is asking for the both of us."

That woke her up quick. "Really?" she chirped, a grin spreading across her lips. After all, if he needed her for a mission, this would be the first since her screw up that landed her in the hospital. Before that whole incident she had heard whispers of her being promoted up to special jounin, and she was so worried she had lost that chance. She took Kakashi by the arm hastily pulling him down the hall.

"Wait." Her excitement almost jerked to a halt. The Hokage was asking for the both of them? She turned to the Copy Nin, frowning, and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Are we being sent on a mission together?" she asked. "That would be a first..."

Kakashi shrugged, pulling himself from her grip. "'Not sure," he answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Maybe."

Well, he was being awfully short with her this morning. Rairakku narrowed her gaze at him inquisitively. He looked ill at ease. But wait, if they were going on a mission together... That might mean she would finally get to see Kakashi really in action. Better yet, he would get to see her in action. They hadn't ever seen the other in true battle, and when they sparred she knew Kakashi went far too easy on her. Maybe if he saw how strong she was, he wouldn't... Well, feel the need to waltz into her apartment while she was half naked, injured, and sleeping just to check on her.

Another rush of excitement bolted through her chest at the thought. She took Kakashi by the sleeve again. "Well, c'mon! Let's get going!" she cried. The lilac proceeded to drag him along again. This was going to be great!

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She could not believe this. She could not believe this. How long had it been since she was sent on such a boring mission? The lilac trudged behind a particular group of genin and their silver sensei. How long had it been since she had been on a mission with genin? The Hokage went on about how she needed to recuperate after such severe injuries.

Their task was an easy. Escort a weapons-maker from Water Country's son, young man named Shinkoku, to a port at the border of Fire Country. There they would rendezvous with shinobi from Kirigakure who were coming by sea, who would accompany him the rest of the way home. At least, Rairakku assumed, they were guarding someone somewhat important, or else there would be no collaboration.

Shinkoku couldn't have been younger than seventeen, and was particularly frail-looking for someone who was learning weaponry. Judging by all the bandages and burns from hot metal that covered his arms, Rairakku guessed he could be a bit of a screw up. It was no wonder his family wanted to hire protection for him. But he was extremely polite and cooperative, so none of his temporary guards found a reason to complain about him.

Naruto for one was ecstatic, considering what had happened on their last escort mission. He just kept waiting for dangerous excitement to happen; it was making Shinkoku extremely nervous. Kakashi scolded Naruto with a punch to the top of the head for upsetting the client. The young Uchiha boy seemed much more at ease, but that didn't stop him from being on full alert. Sasuke got into the occasional spat with Naruto, but that was to be expected. The lilac put herself between the two, and Naruto seemed to like Rairakku enough to calm down.

Kakashi was still acting as strange as he had been this morning. He continued to be very short when speaking to her, which only happened when she addressed him. She also noticed how he was keeping his distance from her. To be perfectly honest it was starting to irritate her. Did he not want her there?

"Rairakku-san," Sakura called from her side. "Are you alright? You seem a little down." The pink haired girl had been ecstatic that Rairakku would be accompanying them. She still had it stuck in her heart that Kakashi and Rairakku were together. Rairakku had finally given Sakura the "no, I'm not and never will be dating your sensei" talk, and after about an hour of being sorely disappointed, Sakura had calmed down and come to terms with it.

"Oh, it's nothing really," she chuckled, putting her hands up in a defensive manner. Had it really been that obvious? Rairakku needed to be more careful with trying not to show so much emotion on her face. Well, that and she also needed to work on not letting Kakashi get to her so easily...

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The sun started to set on their journey. Shinkoku's family conveniently owned a small house in the area that his family used for their business dealings. Kakashi figured his family must be pretty wealthy and very talented in their craft. There was only one bedroom with two beds, and their client offered it to both Rairakku and Sakura in a particularly gentlemanly fashion. Rairakku had left to get ready for bed first.

"Hey, Kakashi?" he heard her call from the bedroom. Her russet covered head peeked around the hallway corner. "Can I talk to you for a second?" Kakashi nodded back, ignoring the whispering now going on between Sakura and Naruto on the other side of the room.

Rairakku caught the door, peeking around the corners to see if those pesky genin were planning on eavesdropping on their conversation. They seemed to be behaving in the other room. She closed the door behind her, and turned toward the silver haired jounin with her arms crossed. Kakashi looked rather confused at her actions, but she had a feeling he knew what this was about. "What is your problem lately?" she whispered fiercely. "You're acting... strange."

He arched an eyebrow at her in a particularly annoying fashion, looking her over for a moment. "Well, how do I put this," he answered after a moment. He should have tried harder to conceal the discomfort he felt around her ever since he found out about... He didn't want to think about it. The thought still made him feel ill.

She didn't give him a chance to choose his words. "I'm not stupid. You're bothered by the fact that I'm here," she growled back as she advanced on him, jabbing him in the chest with her finger. The plum eyed woman took in a deep breath. "If you have something to say, just say it. I'm twenty-two now. You need to stop treating me like a child."

He was a little taken aback; he hadn't known that his behavior would offend her this much. "I'm not bothered by you being here, and I haven't been treating you like a child," he sighed, gently pushing her hand away. "But you're right, I have been acting different around you lately, and I apologize for that."

That answer didn't seem to satisfy her completely. Rairakku's expression seemed to change from anger to concern and then to confusion. "Did I do something wrong?"

Kakashi took a moment to choose his words carefully. This situation could blow out of proportion if he wasn't careful. He could lie. He could say it was nothing. But he knew he should be honest with her about this; she deserved that respect. "I heard something... odd a couple of nights ago. Something I was surprised I hadn't been told before." The Copy Nin started to elaborate when Rairakku began to look even more confused. "Apparently, you and that teammate of yours were... together for a while?"

That's when her confused expression turned into a crimson, horrified look. She staggered back a few steps. "What?!" she shrieked, before realizing the volume of her voice; her hand covered her mouth. "I-I-I don't what you're talking about!" The silver haired man shot her a look. If she was going to lie to him, she needed to not be so obvious about it. She shrunk back beneath his gaze. "H-How did you find out? No one was supposed to know..."

"So it's true then?" He spoke as if he was hoping to hear a different answer, as if what he heard was a lie. "How did it happen exactly?" He took a few steps forward, gently taking a hold of her chin to make her face him when she turned away. "Rairakku, you can talk to me, you know."

"There's n-nothing to talk about. That was years ago," she bit down her on lip and muttered; her voice was soft and pleading. "Can you please just drop it?"

Kakashi shook his head. He needed to hear this straight from her. The half-drunken confessions of her friends at the bar weren't enough for him. "Rairakku," he stated firmly. "Just tell me."

"I-I... Well," she fumbled. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with him. This was something she hoped Kakashi would never find out about. Suddenly her fingernails started to look rather interesting. "It was r-right after the massacre, I guess. A-And I was upset, and he was, too. We were just trying to comfort each other, and then h-he kissed me, and it was... nice... Then I didn't try to stop him."

So it had happened just the way he had thought. Kakashi heard her swallow the lump in her throat; he could hear the discomfort and hurt in her voice. His chest tightened at the idea of her being in such pain over this.

"And then it just... kept happening for a long time, whenever we thought we could use the comfort. And we tried our hardest to keep it just between the two of us," she continued. She was still for a moment, and he noticed tears hiding in her eyes. "We were using each other... And it was killing the both of us. But it's over now, so what does it matter?"

Kakashi finally asked the question that was really plaguing him. "Why did you go through such lengths to hide it from me?" He reached forward and bushed her bangs away from her face, letting his fingers wrap around a few locks of her soft hair. "I thought you trusted me."

"Did it ever occur to you that I might actually care about what you think of me?" she snapped, jerking away from his touch. Her gaze bore into his, but she couldn't hold eye contact with him for long. He was looking at her far too intensely. "Look, I..." Her form and voice shook, and she buried her face in her hands. "...I'm ashamed about what happened between Hideaki and me, and I thought you would be, too. I thought I'd lose you. Even though for a while we didn't get along, I can't remember not having you in my life. And the thought of not having you there..." She paused and took in a deep, shaky breath. "...scares me."

The silence that followed was brutal; she wished he would just say something, anything. Perhaps she shouldn't have spilled her guts to him like that, she thought. But then she felt his arms slowly coil around her waist, pulling her tight against his chest. Rairakku felt her face slowly heating up again at the gesture. Her hands were pressed up against the fabric of his vest, but after a moment she allowed her arms to slip around his shoulders. Her height disadvantage put her just at the nape of his neck, and she took the opportunity to breathe him in. He was so warm, and he smelled like sweat and copper. The scent was so familiar to her that she couldn't help but relax in his arms.

"Do you really think I'd judge you like that?" he crooned. "You think I'd abandon you while you were feeling so alone? I understand; you were vulnerable and grieving." Kakashi's grip around her tightened and he spoke in a lower tone. "But what you and Hideaki had isn't the best way to be comforted. It looks like it only caused you more pain. From now on, come to me if anything's troubling you; we'll talk. I'll always be there for you. You shouldn't have to worry about that." The Copy Nin loosened his hold on her before looking into her eyes and smiling warmly. "Now, is there anything else you want to talk to me about?"

"Kakashi," she murmured, looking away to hide her reddened face. Why was it so hard to look at him tonight? It was just Kakashi, and yet her heart was racing. And what was with him acting so affectionate towards her like this? "Well... Th-there's this one thing that's been bugging me, but it's stupid." She ignored the concerned look he was sending her. "I've uh, been having this dream lately..."

Kakashi listened to every word she had to say about that reoccurring dream as he kept a protective arm around her. Rairakku had to admit, it felt kind of good to be able to talk with him like this. Maybe she was wrong to have ever doubted him; he seemed so understanding during this moment. Maybe he would even being understanding if she told him about... No. There was no way she would talk to him about that.

Kakashi waited until she was finished before he spoke. "Hm, that is strange," he began. She didn't like how he was looking her right in the eye. "But is there a reason it's bothering you as much as it has been?"

Rairakku sighed, frowning as she looked downwards in thought. "It's just it feels like..." How was she supposed to explain this? "... Like something I should remember, but I can't."

The first thought that popped into Kakashi's head was perhaps something from her past was finally creeping out of her unconscious. On the other hand, if she hadn't remembered a single thing about her a past in the fourteen years that he had known her, he couldn't think of a reason why memories would suddenly come to her now.

"Well, thanks for listening, I guess" she chuckled. Now things were starting to feel awkward again. "Uh, it's getting late, and I feel kind of tired."

He nodded into her russet colored hair. When he opened his mouth to answer her, a sliver of light entered the room from the doorway. The two of them turned their heads to see what was happening on the other side. Kakashi glared at the three twelve year olds bickering there.

"Naruto," Sakura shouted, punching him hard on the head. "Why did you open the door?! You've given us away!" So that was it. They should have suspected they'd be spied on after being in there so long.

Naruto interjected, "You said you couldn't hear what they were saying! Ow!" The blonde's back was flattened to the floor beneath Sakura's foot, and he squirmed and writhed to get free. He only got another stomp to his back by his other teammate.

"Usuratonokachi," Sasuke uttered beneath his breath and shaking his head. "Can't you do anything right?" Naruto got up to fight with the Uchiha for that insult, but they were both drawn to a halt by Sakura's cry.

The pink haired girl was pointing in the direction of the two adults inside and jumping up and down with excitement. "I knew it! I knew it!" she squealed, clapping her hands together. The two were still embracing tightly, and Rairakku realized what this must look like to them. She jumped up away from her companion, her heart pounding in her ears. "The two of you are together, aren't you?"

"Shouldn't you three be watching the client?" Kakashi stated with a bit of a threatening tone to his voice. The three of them quickly scurried away, Sakura still giddy and the boys looking rather embarrassed. He turned to Rairakku, scratching the back of his neck uneasily when he noticed how crimson her face had turned. He cleared his throat to break the stillness between them. "Sorry about that. I'll let you get ready for bed." And with that he exited the room.

Rairakku's feet were firmly planted on the floor and pressed her hands to her chest, as if that would help to calm her heart down. She felt dizzy and faint... and confused. 'What the hell?' The lilac staggered a bit, her thoughts jumbled. She was probably just embarrassed. That must be it. After all she just told Kakashi her most closely kept secret... well, her second most closely kept secret. And the genin walked in on him... holding her like that. If they didn't believe that she and Kakashi weren't together before, they certainly wouldn't believe her now. How was she supposed to explain to them that that wasn't what it looked like? Honestly... part of her was saying that maybe, just maybe, it was a little of what it looked like.