[46] They're Weird, Rude, Confusig, And Clingy. Not To Mention They're Werewolves

[46]-

“Wanna know how I felt when you told me that you had a crush on me?” Chase’s soft voice asked as he sensed me walk up.

“H-how?” my voice crackled.

“Guilty,” he answered. I took a seat by him and felt his stare at me. “Because I knew that finally my soul mate liked me back…but it was me in the way of that.”

“You said you didn’t like me,” I whispered.

“I lied.”

I stood up and started to walk back to the house.

“Wait—”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Chase,” I started. “I can’t take it.”

“Neither can I…” he mumbled.

“Then why do you do it?” I shouted. This made no sense.

“Because I have to,” he mumbled.

“Obviously not,” I said beneath.

“You don’t get it,” he looked to me. “I’m doing this because I’m trying to protect whoever I can. And you’re on the top of that list, Ali. I just—”

“Why are you worried about me? I know how to fight vampires,” I interrupted. Hehe. Wes taught me. It’s a rush, trust me.

“Vampires aren’t the only thing that dangerous to you,” he muttered. “The most dangerous thing to you, is sitting right next to you.”

I scoffed.

“I’m serious,” he stated.

“Oh, I know. I’m fighting for my life by sitting this close right now,” I managed to joke. He looked at me with dark eyes. I shut up.

“I can hurt you more than everyone else in this world, and you’re joking about it,” he said.

“It’s cuz I know you won’t.”

He wouldn’t hurt me. He’d made too many promises. Even though he does stuff, he always manages to get back to his promises. I trusted him. No matter how much sh!t we went through…I trusted him with my life as my soul mate, because…I was half his life.

“I’m not talking about physically,” he whispered. “Mentally and emotionally, I’ve fu**ed up everything with you.”

“True…”

“That’s why I don’t wanna be with you,” he said. But I knew that it was partially a lie. His voice rose at the end, so he was lying. But I played along.

“Because you’ll ruin us?”

“I’m bad at relationships,” he assured.

“Well lucky for you, I’ve only been in one,” I shrugged. Other than witnessing relationships from Jasmine and Zoey and stupid romantic comedies, I didn’t know what a bad relationship was, personally. I had only been with Wes, and that was one heck of a relationship that neither of us wanted to give up.

“What about Jackson?” I heard Chase whisper. I snapped my head at him.

“Jackson is…”

“Exactly,” he assumed.

“My step-brother,” I laughed. He looked over to me with relieved eyes.

“He didn’t look like your step-brother when you were at the park…” he whispered.

“Cuz we weren’t, back then,” I explained. “We found out tonight that our parents are getting married.”

“Then why were you all close and touchey, hand holding, at the house?” he asked with disgust like everything he knew was a lie.

“Cuz we just hold hands; that’s how we are,” I shrugged. And I wanted to get you jealous…

“Well it worked.”

“W-what?”

“You got me jealous,” he informed. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“Not my fault,” I replied.

“I know; it’s mine. Cuz I suck at rel—”

“Bullsh!t,” I noted. “That’s not your real reason for not wanting to be with me and I know it. So just tell me.”

“No.”

“Chase. Tell me,” I ordered.

“No.”

“Fine. Then I guess you do want me to leave and not ever come back here,” I bluffed.

“You don’t mean that,” he caught. Sh!t. Stupid bond…

“Then tell me,” I demanded. “Tell me why you act like an a$$hole most of the time, when you don’t even want to. Or why you’ve reached your breaking point. Cuz it sure as h3ll isn’t cuz of you sucking at relationships. So stop being a douche to me and tell me why!”

“Because I’m a fu**ing Alpha!” he yelled. “I can’t be with you!”

“Yes you can!” I shouted.

“No. I can’t. Alphas have responsibilities other than their mate and that’d bring more drama and sh!t and—”

“What happened to the Chase that said a reason a werewolf lives is for their soul mate?” I whispered. He paused. “I want that Chase.”

“You have no idea how it feels to hear you say that…” he muttered, looking away from me. I knew a ‘but’ was coming, so I continued.

“I want you. All of you. I like you,” I added. And I think I might be in l—

“Stop,” he ordered.

“What?”

“I can’t take it. It’s teasing me,” he stated.

“Teasing you of what?”

“Of how much I want you, but can’t have you,” he whispered.

“Chase, you can have me. All of me. I’m willing to try to be together cuz something inside me wants to,” I started. “So be a man and do something about it.”

“I’m not a man; I’m a werewolf,” I thought I heard him mutter. But then he shook it off. “I have a question for you.”

“Ask away,” I sighed.

“How do you feel about me?” he asked. I sighed in confusion. Did he not just say that what I said before was teasing him? GAH. “I don’t care about how I feel. I wanna know how you feel.”

“I feel like you’re playing me, yet when I can swear to myself that I’m mad at you, I’m not,” I started. “I’m always forgiving towards you. And you run through my mind the majority of the day. You truly are my best friend and know me better than anyone else, even Jasmine. I keep saying I want away from the pack, but that’s only because you’re playing these games with me; like right now. I’m gonna tell you and ramble how I have this pathetic huge crush on you that I’ve never had for anyone else, and then you’re gonna say ‘ok’ and continue to make excuses to not be with me.”

Surprisingly, all of that took only a couple breaths. I looked to his eyes as he looked at the ground, to avoid me in silence. Fu**. I’m stupid and pathetic. We sat there in an awkward silence and my phone buzzed.

Jackson: Dad called. Ur mom wants u home. I told them tht we went 2 the park…

Me: Ok.

Jackson: Oh & can u cover 4 me since im staying here apparently? Tell him I went 2 my friends house.

Me: Fine.

Jackson: u ok?

Me: nt really. Ill explain at skool or b4 then maybe

Jackson: I hope youre okay. G2g. Ur psycho ex is givin me a lecture…:/

Me: Wes isn’t psycho…well not a lot

Jackson: U sure?

Me: No.

Jackson: Haha. Well bye

I looked down at my phone as the conversation took about two minutes tops. Chase was still quiet and I was still restless. I laid down on my back and sighed. My phone vibrated again.

Wes: Jackson is a freak of nature

Me: says the werewolf

Wes: says the alpha werewolfs sm

Me: F you

Wes: When (; <3

I rolled my eyes and tucked my phone in my pocket. After a few more minutes of hoping and praying to gain some ability to read whats running through Chase’s mind, I sat up and started to get up. I made it all the way to a standing position with my back to him with two steps, before he started talking.

“Do you love me?” he whispered. The wind blew as I gulped. I took more steps to leave and then I muttered my answer beneath my breath, knowing that he couldn’t possibly hear it as I made my way through the forest.

***

Sunday was a test run of our new “family”. We hung out. Aside from Halle since she’s grounded. Of course she chose now to use that as an excuse not to go when Collin allowed her too. I don’t know how it’d be to be grounded for a month. The most my mom grounded for was “one week”, but considering her guilt would uplift that by a couple days, not to mention access to iPods and phones, it wasn’t really grounding…

“Ah…I gotta go,” Jackson announced, looking down to his phone. We were all at their house in the living room, but Halle was in her room like an anti-social rebellious teenaged girl. He looked up and gave me a hinted look in his silver and brown eyes.

“To?” Zoey asked, nosily.

“Project for school,” Jackson lied. “I need to go to my partners’ house since it’s due on Monday, or Tuesday. I really don’t know. Sometime this week I suppose? Cuz everyone else has theirs done for the most part—”

“Go,” Collin interrupted as I laughed at Jackson’s rant. He placed a hand over his heart.

“Father, you say that like you want me gone,” he dramatized.

“Go work on your project,” Collin allowed. Jackson snickered.

“You want me to go with you?” I offered.

“Um no. I think my partner wants to work alone today and his brother isn’t really…eh,” Jackson covered. I sighed and shrugged as he left. He meant that he would busy with Wes or Dane, and Chase wasn’t in a good mood. Which pissed me off. Mostly because of what happened yesterday, but also because it was a full moon when he was acting like that, meaning I wouldn’t even get to see him to even talk through all this sh!t.

“So…what does everyone want for dinner?” my mom asked.

“I think Micah’s taking me out tonight,” Zoey announced.

“And I have homework to finish, so I think I’m just gonna go walk home…” I added.

“Which leaves you two a house by yourselves,” Zoey said suggestively. I rolled my eyes as I stood.

Zoey and I walked to our mom’s car and I realized I forgot my phone. I went in to retrieve it and realized that my battery was dead. On my way out to the car that was now turned on and waiting for me on the road by the sidewalk, I noticed a figure run across the side of the house. I paused. The figure neared me and I dropped down in a defensive stance.

“You tell my dad that I left, and I kill you,” Halle threatened with a hood over her head and piercings through her eyebrow and stud on her nose. I let her pass me as I walked to the car and shook my head.

“Zoey, I think our new step-sister has some issues,” I expressed once I climbed in the car.

“Great minds think alike, baby sis,” she replied before driving off.

***

So my mom informed me that she’d be back by morning, meaning she’d spend the night at Collin’s—ew.

Meaning Zoey would be out all night spending with Micah—ew.

So I was stuck at home with Roanoke all night.

Great family, huh.

I entered my room and through everything down by the door. I looked up and did a double take as there was a person in my room. My breath stopped until I realized who it was. He took steps near me.

“What are you doing here—”

And then I was in heaven. Chase Cane’s lips were pressed to mine and shocked went throughout my entire body, beyond belief. I kissed back as his hands roamed my waist. His lips were perfect with mine and he was twenty times the kisser Wes was…which is saying something. With a slide of his tongue to my bottom lip, my lips parted in order for our tongues to dance. And then he bit my lip and I shuddered. My eyes slightly opened a quarter of an inch, but that was enough until I saw the bright white light coming from the dark night. I pushed Chase away from me as his bite on my lip got so hard that I was surprised he didn’t draw blood.

“What the h3ll?”

I looked at his eyes and they literally glowed neon green.

“I—I’m sorry,” he stammered. Sorry for giving me the best kiss in my life?

“Don’t apologize,” I whispered. “But what are you doing here? It’s a full moon.”

“I don’t care,” he said. “I asked you if you loved me and you said no. So now I’m gonna ask you how that kiss felt.”

He was lying…he didn’t hear me…

“It’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life,” I said, honestly.

“Is that the truth this time?” he asked. This time? “I think you love me.”

“Then do something about it!” I responded. He grabbed my waist and threw me onto the bed beneath him and started to kiss me with the same amount of passion as before—maybe even more. Either way, I loved it. But then his grip got tight on my waist and he bit my lip only slightly this time. So I pulled away. “Stop.”

He flew back into the furthest wall from the bed at my command.

“What is wrong with you?” I asked.

“Everything; you were right. I shouldn’t be here,” he rushed.

“But I—”

And then he dived out of my window. I sat up in my bed.

WHAT THE H3LL DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!

The one thing I know: Even though he might deny any feelings he has for me, I, Alicia Lindros, was in love with Chase Cane. Unmistakably, undeniably, and unconditionally in love with him.

And I, Alicia Lindros, feel like a pathetic dependant girl for being head over heels over some guy that has continuously pissed me off and played me in every possible way through an anterior motive.