Sad, Love, Funny, or Natural Quotes

A heart is like an egg, only one chance, drop it and it'll shatter.

Just be yourself you aren't going anywhere.

I'm so sick of trying, trying to forget you.

Seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I'm all yours.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

I'm here so what are your other 2 wishes?

I'm not fighting with my inner demons anymore. We're on the same side now.

Girls what a lot of things from 1 guy. Conversely, guys want 1 thing from a lot of girls.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.
An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
You say I'm not cool. But technically, cool equals cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I always new I was hot. Embrace the truth.
Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little
bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Time is a great teacher, unfortunately, it kills all it's students.
Never take life seriously, nobody gets out alive anyway.
A man who smiles when something goes wrong, has found someone to blame it on.
I wish I could kill the sexiest person alive, unfortunately, suicide is a crime.
If it seems to good to be true, it probably is.

If your parents didn't have any children, I don't think you will either.
Doctors' say I have a multiple personality, we don't agree with that.

Boys are like slinkies. Pointless and useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Music is my life, Writing is my passion, Laughing is my hobby, and Living is my game.

Friends are like slinkies. Loveable and Fun, but fun to watch fall down the stairs!

Dude, I left my SOUL behind to make ROOM for SARCASM.

A friend bails you out of jail, but a best friend would be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun."

Operation 'THIS WILL MOST LIKELY END BAD' is a go.

I'm a ninja who's pretending to be a person who's pretending to be a ninja who's pretending to be me. That's how ninja I am.

I'm the fangirl-type who's screaming at the TV whenever Link gets killed.

The word EPIC is not EPIC enough to describe the EPIC-ness of your EPIC FAIL.

Why thank you Captain Obvious. Your welcome Lieutenant Sarcasm.

I once gave up on Legend of Zelda, it was the most terrifiying 3 minutes of my life!

OMG! Rain is wet!

My Brain= 40% randomness, 30% video games, 20% books and 10% Smarts.

I did not trip! I was testing GRAVITY. It still works.

Dear Math, Grow up and solve you OWN damn problems!

I'm smiling. That alone should frighten you.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to a circus.

IF I had any dignity, that WOULD'VE been humiliating.

I do not walk into things! They are DRAWN to my AWESOMENESS!

Ctrl F is Accio for Muggles.

Nerd? We prefer the term 'Intellectual Badass'.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

I'm pretty good at giving advice, but may I interest you into a Sarcastic comment?

Video games aren't everything but they're right up there with oxygen.

Everyone is intitelled to be stupid, but you're abbusing the privlage.

It's been 'one of those days' ALL FUCKING WEEK!

WHAT THE FAIL!?

I am not CRAZY! My reality is just DIFFERENT from yours.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell..

Live the life you love, Love the life you live.

I know you are in there!....... I CAN HERE YOU CARING~

I have a question! Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?

"Are you being dense on purpose?" ".. WHA?"

People have to be miserable sometimes! Accept it! That's how I stay happy!

I went to put the ceral box away, but the cabinet hit me in the face!

Forgive your enemies, but never forget there names.

If at first you don't suceed, then erase the evidence that you even tried!

Giving up does not mean you're weak. It means that you know when to let go.

There are three types of people in this world, Those that can count and those that cannot.

Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is the time of the day with the slowest traffic called 'rush hour'?

When dog food is 'new and improved' who tests it?

Don't follow my footsteps, I walk into walls.

I don't walk into walls! The walls just appear out of nowhere and get in my way!

I'm not afraid of death! What is it gonna do? Kill me?!

I will kill you so hard you will die!

I can't hear you! It's to quiet!

Yesterday was history, Tomarrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that's why it's called a 'present'.

Advice for the day: If you have a headache take an asprin and do what it says on the bottle, take two and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN

Don't piss me off today, I'm running out of places to hide bodies.

It takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker across the face!

If 2 wrongs don't make a right then try 3.

I didn't stab him! He ran into my knife!

I didn't slap you, I high fived your face!

Failatastic: A fail so epic it's almost a win!

LOOK! A FLYING BIRD!

You can't spell slaughter without laughter!

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?

Why does the label on children's Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?

I like the rain. People can't tell if I'm crying.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

If the opposite of Pro is Con, what is the opposite of Congress?

Occifer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!