ஐHatake Kakashiஐ Entangled in a Missing Memory ❧011❧

✦✧✦✧✦✧

Chapter 11: Misunderstandings Resolved

✧✦✧✦✧✦

Rairakku had succeeded in avoiding Kakashi for the past several weeks. She figured that if he really did see her as a burden like she thought, he wouldn't mind her absence. Avoiding him actually wasn't as difficult as she had imagined it to be. With the chuunin exams fast approaching, she was busy with the other elite chuunin; this hadn't been the first time she had helped out, but it was still an honor to be considered one of the strongest of her rank.

The exams took all of her focus, and Rairakku was successfully able to push any thoughts of the Copy Nin out of her mind. Well, she was mostly successful. It was difficult to keep him out of her mind. It wasn't until now that she realized just how much she thought of him on a regular basis. Fortunately for her, the exams proved to be a good distraction. Unfortunately, her place in the exams had her spending most of her time with Hideaki, who was more than curious as to why she was avoiding Kakashi.

"Did the two of you get into a fight?" the redhead asked, trying to hide the excitement in his voice. Hideaki always thought that things would be so much better between him and Rairakku if that silver haired jounin wasn't around.

Rairakku's eyes didn't leave her paperwork. The pair was in the small living area of her apartment, looking over all the teams that would were officially entering. Part of her was wondering when she would come across Team Seven's file. "No, we didn't. Can you just let it go? Why are you so interested?" the lilac huffed as she turned a page. She knew Hideaki had never been very fond of Kakashi, so why was he so interested know why she wasn't speaking to him?

Hideaki shrugged his shoulders, hiding the smile on his face with a piece of paper. "Well, it's just that the two of you are practically always together, and lately you seem to be avoiding him." Of course, the Akashio was delighted that Rairakku was spending so much more time with him, but he figured he should find out why. Perhaps she and Kakashi were finally drifting apart; the very thought of it made him giddy.

Rairakku paused in her work for a moment, thinking hard on how to answer him. The more she had thought about her feelings for Kakashi, the worse she felt. Her chest ached and her heart raced; when she thought about the night he had held her, she felt faint and her face grew hot. "Being around him right now is just... awkward and confusing," she answered reluctantly, her voice quiet. "So I'm just waiting for that to... go away, I guess. I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting sick or something."

Awkward and confusing? Getting sick? Hideaki didn't like the sound of that at all. His smile vanished and he lowered the document covering his face. That sounding like something someone would say if they were... infatuated and didn't know it. Rairakku had never been very experienced when it came to feelings of the heart, so maybe she was. "What do you mean by that?" he asked, rather loudly.

Rairakku had to move back on the couch as the redhead moved a little too close to her face. "W-Well, I just feel different around him I guess. Why does that matter?" she stuttered out, her face growing crimson at the very thought of having to explain this out loud. But he wanted her to elaborate; he clearly wasn't going to drop the topic. So she tried to put it into words for her friend. For some reason, it felt especially uncomfortable to explain it to him, her ex-lover, and almost the... No, she wouldn't think about that.

Hideaki listened carefully to Rairakku's words, a stabbing pain growing in his chest with every "symptom" she said she was experiencing. Though he wasn't particularly surprised; the redhead always had a feeling that one day she would realize how much she cared for Kakashi. He hadn't expected her to be this confused over it, though. Then again, she had never been in love, not even with him.

"Rairakku," he chuckled wryly once Rairakku had finished. "You really don't realize it, do you? Come on, you should be smarter than that." Her beautiful plum eyes shot him a look of puzzlement, and then she glared with a pout on her tender lips. His hands reached over and cupped her cheeks, his expression turning serious. "You're in love with him. I think you have been for a long time now."

Then she did something he wouldn't have expected from her. Normally when faced with such an accusation, she would glare, get a disgusted look on her face, or even yell at Hideaki for saying something like that. But no, this time she reddened from the bridge of her nose to the tips of her ears. "W-W-What?! Don't say something so stupid like that! W-Why would I be in love with him of all people?!" she shrieked, jumping from the couch and slipping on some papers. Rairakku was waiting for him to laugh, to say he was joking, but he didn't.

"Rairakku," Hideaki began again, sighing in slight frustration. Obviously, the thought had crossed her mind for a split second before, or else she would have had this type of reaction. He opened his mouth to speak again, but no, Rairakku wouldn't hear any more of what he had to say.

She gathered up the documents that they two of them had finished going over. "L-Look, I'm going to turn all of this in, okay?" the lilac interjected, still stumbling about. The russet haired woman raced out the front door of her apartment. Her heart was pulsating even faster than her legs were running. Stupid Hideaki. What an idiotic thing to say, that she was in love with Kakashi. There was no way... Was there?

✦✧✦✧✦✧

✧✦✧✦✧✦

The stabbing pain in his chest hadn't gone away since that afternoon, and his normally bubbly nature had faded. Hideaki knew this would happen one day, that Rairakku would realize her feelings for Kakashi. So if he had expected this, why did he find himself so utterly angry? Perhaps he was hoping that he still had the better shot at being with her. Why though? He had been with several women since Rairakku, and he knew what they had ended a long time ago. He hated to admit that he missed her, even though what they had together had only hurt them in the end. Something about the way it ended had just seemed so abrupt, though, as if something had been left unfinished or unspoken.

God, he sounded like a girl...

Of course, if he were to pursue her now that would be a huge mistake. The two of them fought more often than not; they felt ashamed and hurt by the time morning came and would get dressed in silence. Hell, more often than not he would leave in the middle of the night. But after hearing her murmur that other man's name in her sleep, could anyone blame him?

The thought still made him want to punch something. Unfortunately, the redhead had his hands full with documents as he was currently heading to the Hokage's office. The fact that he saw that certain other man was headed this way did not lighten his mood. When he saw that head of silver hair walking in the opposite direction it struck him: he had no idea if Kakashi felt the same way for Rairakku. There was a very real chance that he didn't. "Konichiwa, Kakashi!" he immediately called out, a grin spreading across his lips. He would just have to find out for himself, wouldn't he?

When Kakashi heard Hideaki calling he approached the redhead cautiously. It wasn't often that Hideaki spoke to him without a grimace on his face. Something was up. But Hideaki probably knew where Rairakku was, or at least why she was avoiding him. There had been several times over the past month where Kakashi had spotted her on the street, but she quickly ran off. He was still hoping it wasn't because of that kiss, but he couldn't think of any other reason. The least he could do was explain himself, though he had no idea what he would say. So the Copy Nin returned the gesture. "Hey," he replied, nodding in his direction. "Busy with paperwork, I see."

"Yeah," Hideaki answered with a chuckle, looking down in the giant stack in his arms. It was true. His shoulders were actually starting to ache from the weight. "It's for the exams, and luckily I think this is the last batch. I think Rairakku was getting fed up with my complaining."

Ah, so she was busy preparing for the exams with Hideaki. That was a relief. Perhaps Kakashi had been over thinking this whole thing. Even so, that didn't explain why she was going through such lengths to avoid him. "You wouldn't happen to know where she is, would you?" the silver haired jounin inquired.

The chuunin's lips twitched as he contemplated how he should answer. After all, he hadn’t seen her since the lilac ran off several hours ago, but she had claimed she was heading to turn those documents in to the Hokage. "She went on ahead of me," he answered. "If she's not still at the Hokage Tower, she's probably heading back to her apartment for some well earned rest. She's been working hard." He paused to shrug the ache out of his shoulders. Suddenly a thought hit him, and a lecherous smirk spread across his lips. It was a look Kakashi didn't like. "The two of us have barely slept all week," he continued, trying hard not to snicker. After all, it was true; the implications of his statement, however, were not. Hideaki resumed his walked towards the Hokage Tower. "Well, I'll see you later."

Kakashi could feel a twitch coming to his visible eye. Barely slept? He knew exactly what Hideaki had been implying, and he had said it with that grin on his face. That familiar sick feeling from when he first discovered their past began bubbling up in his stomach. Considering how ashamed Rairakku seemed of her relationship with the redhead, it seemed unlikely that she would jump into bed with Hideaki again.

Now he really wanted to talk to her.

✦✧✦✧✦✧

✧✦✧✦✧✦

The sun was beginning to set now, turning the sky into a canvas of oranges and pinks. Kakashi had searched the locations that Hideaki had suggested, but to no avail. He just couldn't find her anywhere, though for a few seconds he thought he had sensed her presence. She really must be going out of her way to avoid him, after all. If only he could just apologize to her for that kiss... His feet had carried him to his favorite place to think, the KIA memorial. Honestly, it was the last place he had expected to see her, but there she was. "Well, I didn't expect to see you here, Rairakku," he admitted with a chuckle.

The russet haired woman jumped; she hadn't heard him approach her. Damn it. She had been doing such a good job of avoiding him. "O-Oh, Kakashi. It's you. What, uh- what are you doing here?" Rairakku asked with a stutter in her voice as she turned to face him. The words Hideaki spoke to her were still playing in her mind like a broken record. You're in love with him. You're in love with him. You're in love with him...

"I just thought I'd stop by here before I went home," the silver haired man drawled out, eyeing her in a sort of suspicious way as he approached her. She took a few steps back as he did so. "It's funny," Kakashi continued, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I've gotten the feeling you've been avoiding me lately. Is something wrong?"

Rairakku tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Damn, Hideaki. What he said earlier had made her feel even worse around Kakashi. She thought about lying to him, but she was always a horrible liar when it came to Kakashi. He would see right through her. Besides, he deserved the truth. She turned her gaze to the ground. "It's nothing important, but... I guess I have been, huh? I'm really sorry—"

"No, don't apologize. If anything I should be apologizing," he interrupted shaking his head. Her gaze met his; she looked a little taken aback. He reached to scratch the back of his neck in an awkward fashion, as if he was uncomfortable. Rairakku cocked her head to the side at this. Why on earth would he be apologizing for? She was the one who had been ignoring him for the past month. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the confusion in her eyes before he said, "I was the one who kissed you after all."

Now it was Rairakku's turn to interrupt. His words nearly knocked her flat on her back; she had to stagger backwards and catch her footing. "W-W-What?! What are you talking about?!" she shrieked. The lilac's cheeks were beyond red; they were damn near purple. What did he mean 'he was sorry he kissed her'? "W-When did that happen?!"

Kakashi stood there, his masked jaw slacked. "That's... not why you've been avoiding me?" Rairakku looked absolutely mortified at this apparently new information and shook her head fiercely. He had been wrong before; she really had been asleep when he had kissed her cheek. His words were still hanging in the air, as if he could reach out and take them back, but he couldn't. Heat began to rush to his face. "I- I... Oh," the Copy Nin found himself stammering.

The lilac pointed an accusing finger at him, glowering ferociously. "Th-That night I was at your place! I knew something weird was up!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Part of him wanted to tell her to lower her voice— they were in front of a memorial after all— but her reaction was to be expected. "What did you do to me?!"

What was he supposed to say now? His hands were out of his pockets now, in a defensive position. "It wasn't... I mean, I didn't mean anything by it," Kakashi attempted to explain. "I just... It happened while I was putting you in bed. It was just on the cheek." Rairakku's face was slowly returning to its original color, and now she looked much more confused than she did upset. "Well," he cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. "What did I do to make you avoid me, then?"

The attempt to distract her succeeded, and the woman turned her plum eyes back to the ground again."It wasn't anything you did," she murmured, still looking embarrassed by the whole conversation. Rairakku wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to the question she was about to ask, but if he had gone so far as to seek her out, maybe she was wrong. "Am I a burden to you?" she whispered softly. Now it was Kakashi's turn to be confused. "It's just, after that night I stayed at your place I realized," Rairakku elaborated, looking down at her hands. "You're always taking care of me, and I just... I don't want you to feel like you have to do that. I can take care of myself, you know."

Kakashi's eyebrows shot up. She thought he saw her as a burden? So that's why she was avoiding him. She was trying to prove that she could take care of herself. The Copy Nin found himself trying to suppress an uncomfortable laugh, still feeling embarrassed about before. "You've never been a burden to me," he chuckled as patted her on the head, ruffling up her russet locks a bit. "But if it's bothering you that much, I can try not to care about you."

Even though she felt relieved, Rairakku glared at him as heat spread to her cheeks from his touch. Well, if he could just ignore what he had blurted out earlier, then she guess she could, too. But the way he was ruffling her hair awkwardly was getting annoying "Why do you do that?" she asked.

The silver jounin cocked his head the side, continuing to ruffle her hair about. "Hm? Do what?"

The plum eyed girl reached up and touched the gloved hand that was resting on her head. "That," Rairakku answered, looking back at the ground again. Why was it so hard to look at him now? "You're always playing with my hair."

He shrugged in a nonchalant manner. Honestly, he hadn't realized. Now that he thought about it, he had made quite a habit out of playing with her hair, whether he was ruffling it about to annoy her, tugging a strand when he was teasing her, or brushing it out of her face out of general affection. Kakashi removed his hand from her head. "Why? Does that bother you?"

"N-No, I don't mind." It really didn't bother her. She had always found these actions very comforting. It was just that suddenly she was wondering the reason for such things. Especially now, since she seemed to be extremely aware of every little thing he did around her. Of course, she thought, the better question would be why did he kiss her, but she didn't want to know the answer to that.