So I sit here with my back leaning against the wall; looking at this clock next to my bed. “Ugh, it’s only one’ clock in the morning.” Listen to me, only. I lay back down on my bed. Close my eyes, and try to sleep. Then, I get this sudden vision, so I shoot back up.
So much blood. So many tears… Why did this have to happen to me? I just started thinking, which is what I try to so hard to avoid. Why couldn’t you have just stayed the hell away from me. I warned you that everyone I have ever loved died. Now look what happened to you; In the hospital.
I could never really understand why I was cursed with this. The problem that whoever I love, dies. I was born like any other normal girl… I may have problems. I never did anything wrong. I’m only seventeen. “Ugh, Fuck you nick. I fucking hate you. I know you’re the jynx ruining me. I just don’t know why god had to hate me so much, to bring you into my life. Killing off the three guys I have ever loved in my life.” I just sat there. Anger burning within me thinking about this son of a bitch. “We dated for four months, and you’ve done nothing in that time but beat me, and used me to sell drugs. I don’t care how many times you say you love me, you destroyed me and my family.”
Nick: richest and supposedly greatest looking guy in the school. He just had to choose me. I just wish I could tell everyone at school how much of a monster he really is. I guess it’s my fault for falling for that fake smile that hid a demon.
He has threaten to kill me about seventy million times, if I ever told anyone about anything he has done to me. He’s the one making wrong choices now, and now that I finally left him, he just had to kill off three guys for dating me. He needs to be put to death sentence.
I suddenly hear all these words and I get this sudden flash back.
“So come on, how about that rave?” He asked.
“No Nick, I told you: I’m too tired.”
”You know I love you, honey.” Nick said.
“Yeah I know..” I said back.
He said this on the night of our two month anniversary, right after he pulled me down the stairs, and kicked me in the stomach.
I worked for three days straight on a four day weekend, without a single night of sleep, at the parking garage. I just wanted to crash into my bed and sleep for a month. It didn’t matter to him, he called me a pathetic wimp and did what he did after I started walking up the stairs.
“I still have that bruise on my stomach. It has been over a year and a half since that day, but I still have it…” I said to myself as I got up and walked in front of the full body mirror in my room. I lifted up my shirt to the bottom of my rib cage. I saw the bruise and squinted my eyes in anger as I stared at it. I put my shirt back down, put on my converse, a sweater, and stuck the knife that Nick dropped when he ran away. I climbed out the window onto the roof in front of it. I walked carefully to rain gutter, and just grabbed on carefully and slid down.
I walked into the little park across the street. I sat on my favorite swing at the end of the set. I started swinging back and forth. Thinking about life… Thinking about Andy, my current boyfriend who is about to die in the hospital. Nick stabbed him so far deep into his skin that it hit his liver.
I was there with Andy when it happened.
It was about a month and a half we’ve been together, and we were just relaxing with each other on this park bench, that was by the jungle gym. It was about eleven at night.
So we were talking and having a good time joking around about random things, where out of nowhere Nick comes into the picture. He wasn’t walking straight, I knew he was drunk. “Well well well, look at the happy couple.” He said.
Andy put me behind his arm. “What do you want, Nick?”
“Just wanted to see the girl I love. You know, that girl behind you”
“Oh my god, Nick, I can smell the alcohol from here. Go away and leave me alone.”
I knew it. I’m scared. The night we officially broke up, was the same night he told me ‘You tell anyone, about anything that I told you, you’re as good as dead.’
“I told you I promised I wouldn’t say anything to anyone. We are just talking about random stuff-“
“BULL SHIT!” He screamed, cutting off my sentence. “I know you told him about me, I was the best after all”
“The best at what, Nick?! Being a complete demon to the girl you supposedly loved?!” I walked in front of Andy, holding back these tears threatening to come out, but I held them back as best I could.
“You stupid and worthless whore. You’re gonna get it.” Nick pulled out his favorite knife. Something so sharp it can cut through half a tree.
Nick, lunged right at me. “Back off man!” Andy screamed and got in front of me again. Unfortunately… he got stabbed. He dropped to his knees after Nick pulled out the knife. Andy grabbed the spot he was bleeding from. His blood matched the red shirt he was wearing... I couldn’t tell how far the blood was spreading.
Nick dropped the knife and ran home. I called for an ambulance and they came fast enough to get Andy, good until he got to the hospital.
Last night was when I got the call that he might not make it because there wasn’t enough of the blood he needed at the hospital. I planned on giving some of mine because I was a universal donor, but they said there was very little chance he would make it past the morning. I still wanted to try…
“Fuck you, Nick. Fuck you.” I whispered to myself as I looked at my cut filled arm.
Yes, I cut myself. My mom never ever cared about me and just basically did nothing for me. She just got cancer, about three months ago. I was working so hard, to see that if I paid for the operations, she would finally say “I love you” or “I’m so proud you work so hard to save me” or maybe even a little “thank you”.
The doctors said she found drugs in her system, that’s how the cancer started.
I asked her where she got the drugs from, all she said was “Nick”.
And my dad left the second the next hottest thing came into town. He left a note on the kitchen table when he did. It said: “Later losers” on it. He never gave the money he needed to pay for child support since he left… I was only twelve at the time.
And my brother died in a war…
So I was alone.
With all these things running through my head, I pulled out Nicks knife, and held it to my skin. I didn’t move at all, I just held it there… then I got to thinking… He did this… He destroyed the only family I have left, killed off my last three boyfriends... beat me and used me…
I got off the swing set, my brain shut off. My legs were walking like they had a mind of their own. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but the numbing was good to me. I walked two blocks, and ended up in front of Nick’s house. His parents weren’t home, the car wasn’t in the drive way.
I rang the door bell, but then just broke the door open. Nick was on the couch, and he looked shocked that it was me at the door. I had the knife in my hand, in my pocket.
The house smelled like burning marijuana. It sickened me how he could be like this, after everything he’s done to me.
“Hey, Rose. Banging down my door, you must want me back badly.” He joked. He was getting more high by the minute. Suddenly, water started coming down. It was raining. “Well, are you just gonna stand there?” I had my head down, my hair covering the tears coming out. I put my hood on, and walked a few steps backwards into the rain. Nick stared at me. I could just feel his eyes watching my every move. My hand curled into a fist around the knife. “Are you stupid or something? I’m talking to you!” He came walking to me, stopping in the door way. “You’re such a bitch.” He came and grabbed my left wrist. He started squeezing it really tight, but I didn’t care, I was still numb from the pain.
“You made my life worse then what it already was… you are probably one sent from the devil.” I said with my head still down.
He slapped my face with his back hand. “Excuse me, Rose? What did you just say to me?” He asked getting pissed. My head stuck to the left, the tears still coming out, but the rain pretty much covering them from sight. I grew a sickly grin on my face.
“You know what I hate more then you, Nick?” He looked at me aggravated and like I had five heads. I turned my head to look at him, and his face had a different expression when he saw mine. He looked… Nervous. All the rage over the year, all the tears, the sadness, the depression. All the pain… “I hate the fact that you’re living!” I pulled the knife out and stabbed him in his side. He let me go and fell over in pain. I let it all out in the one swing.
“You fucking bitch!” He yelled, as he started bleeding.
All I did was drop the knife, and walked away. I whispered “An eye for an eye…”