"Need help?" I asked as I watched Patrick packing his suitcase.
He looked up at me, freezing for a moment.
Tilting his head to the side, he replied, "Sure."
I knew he didn't want me to help.
He had been trying to avoid the fact that they were leaving.
Not that avoiding it had been helping.
It had been on my mind all week.
___________________
"You're taking this?" I asked, as I came across the sweatshirt I had given him in high school.
It was worn out.
What had once been a dark blue had faded so much that parts of it looked gray.
It had shrunk also, but I knew it would still fit his frame.
I was just surprised he still had it.
"Yes. It reminds me of home. And you" he said sheepishly, smiling a bit.
I bit my lip as a slight blush crept into my ears, and placed it folded into the suitcase.
"I'll be right back." Patrick said, leaving the room.
I looked down at the pile of clothes forming before me.
Quickly, I grabbed one of Patrick's hoodies.
I dashed to my room and threw it on the bed.
I knew this would keep me up at nights.
But wearing it would somehow make me feel closer to him.
Or, the closest I could get.
___________________
"Don't think of it as good-bye." Patrick told me as we lay on the couch for one last time before he left in the morning.
"What should I think of it as then?"
"Temporary "see you later"?" he asked, questioning himself.
I smiled and leaned back into him, causing him to wrap his arms around me.
I loved the warmth he gave me.
The sputter in my stomach and the lump in my throat.
I loved how one minute I could be completely fine, and with one move from him my mind would be sent reeling.
I hated how I could never tell him this.
I hated keeping secrets.
I hated how I was so close to him
...but I've never felt so far.
"Riley? You okay?"
I jolted out of my foggy state.
"Yeah, I'm just thinking."
"About wha-"
Patrick didn't get a chance to finish that sentence.
The phone had rang.
And I knew exactly who it was.
"Again?" I heard Patrick ask into the receiver, agitation necessary in his voice.
Yup. It was Jamie alright.
"Fine. Wait outside."
I swallowed back the forming lump in my throat, this time though, it was for a completely different reason.
I was trying to rid myself of the tears that were threatening to come.
"I'm so sorry, I'll be-" Patrick began, but I cut him off.
"Save it." I said, walking into my room and slamming the door.
I won't be second best.
One day he won't go running to her.
One day.
The only problem is...
I don't think I can wait that long.
Rest in results...<3
"He did it again, didn't he?" Pete asked through the phone.
I nodded, and realized he couldn't see me.
"Yeah, but I'm fine." I said.
I didn't want people to think I was weak. Pathetic. Dependent.
"Don't lie to me."
Damn. Pete Wentz can spot me not telling the truth a mile away.
"I'm serious." I tried to continue. "I realized that it's his loss. I can't wait around forever. It's time to move on."
Wow. I made it sound so easy.
"Good...It is his loss. You're amazing, Riles. Don't let him get you down. Get some rest, I'll come over tomorrow. You're okay right?"
"Okay. Night Pete. And yes, I'm okay. Don't worry about me, I'm perfectly fine."
I hung up the phone.
I'm getting much better at this lying thing.
