A little more than half way through the movie I could feel my stomach start to grumble. After all I hadn't eaten all day. I sighed before sitting up from my current position which was lying across Chris. It had been quite comfortable. Reluctantly, I pushed myself up. So far I had been able to avoid Pete. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time, but I tried not to notice. His expression when I had come back from fixing my make up and hair had been so sad. I could tell that expression any day. It was the one his face always held when he was trying to block something out. He was so predictable, but even so I still missed every single one of his expressions.
"I'm going to go make some popcorn anybody want anything?" I said glancing at everyone but Pete.
"Mountain Dew!" Andy said smiling up at me from the floor. I nodded as I stood up.
"Mountain dew sounds good, bring me some too please!" Joe called as I started towards the kitchen.
"I'd like a water please, Angelle." Patrick said quietly. I stopped and turned around.
"Chris? Pete? You guys want anything?" I asked trying hard to keep the loving tone out of Pete's name.
"Mountain Dew would be good." Chris said still looking at the movie.
"I'll come help." Pete said standing up and walking to me. I gave him a suspicious look before turning around. I felt his hand on the small of my back as he moved us both into the kitchen. I tried not to think of how much I missed his touch. How one small touch of affection could make such an impact. Trying my hardest to hide how I really felt I walked to the cabinet that held the snacks while he walked to the fridge and pulled out the bottles of mountain dew and water. I unwrapped the popcorn and popped it into the microwave pressing the automatic button that read Popcorn. As soon as it started to pop I walked over to Pete who was staring at me with that look. I used to love how he looked at me like that. Like I was the only thing in the world he wanted. Like he loved me.
"What are you doing Pete?" I said quickly.
"Waiting for you to bring this stuff out to the guys." He replied simply.
"No, what are you really doing?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said shaking his head.
"Where's Lily and why have you been looking at me like that all night?" I said while the popcorn grew louder.
"Lily's gone. She left last night. And I haven't been looking at you like anything." He said dryly. For some reason his tone was hurtful. Like I didn't even matter, he acted like last night didn't even happen.
"Where'd she go?" I asked curiously.
"Home." He said shortly.
"Why?" I persisted.
"Why do you care, it's not any of your business."
"You are my business Peter." I said before I could stop myself. I felt my cheeks tint and my eyes grow wide at the words that I just let fall past my lips. His eyes soften on mine before he looked at the ground.
"I was once."
The popcorn stopped and the timer went off. Pete Wentz had just managed to make me feel like shit again. Why couldn't he just save us all this trouble and stop torturing me? Why could I save my self and stop loving him?
Every time we had an encounter like this he always broke my heart a little bit more, I always ended up being the one in tears. It wasn't fair. Why did I still want him if this is all he does to me?
"I was once."
It nearly killed me to say that to her. I knew I was only setting myself up for another fall. Just like last night, maybe worse. Why did I keep doing this to myself? Why did I keep doing this to her? I knew I was hurting her, but I just couldn't help it. I still loved her and I wanted her to love me
I looked up to see that Angelle had turned away from me, her head was down and her hands were covering her face. I felt like such a jackass for hurting her again. It really wasn't called for.
"Lily left because I told her I didn't love her and that I used her. She was nothing to me." I said quietly.
"That must have been horrible words to hear." Angelle replied, her voice was shaky.
"Sometimes the truth hurts." I said pushing my hands in my pockets before they did something stupid like touch her again. Only then did she turn and look at me. Her eyes were brimming with tears; somehow she still managed to look so beautiful.
"Sometimes I wish it didn't." She said with a weak smile. I swear, right then, I could have melted into the floor looking into her eyes. They held the expressions they used to hold, for me, even behind the tears. She still loved me.
Compulsion has stained me
Im nervously cradling our young love
Without known limits love
Like a butterfly cupped in my hands
I peek in to see beauty trapped
Confined it flutters
Then it leaves behind colorful dust
To remind me of the special times weve spent
But of course it has to leave my clutch
But enough's never enough to make a dent
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