The next few months were a complete horror. By the third month the press had found out about the rumors of Gackt having a child with a woman, which was obviously odd for some reason. He wouldn't tell her what that was about but she wanted to figure it out sooner or later. At the moment though she was worrying about her child since she was out of her dizzy spells but there was still the showing that brought everyone's attention to her. Lilly was freaking out because she was going to have a niece (since Jamera insisted it was going to be a girl) was that of both her sister and the hottest Jrocker in the world! Jamera couldn't help but laugh every time Lilly came around to lay her ear on the growing belly of her sister.
She could swear each time that she heard something or that the little baby kicked but Jamera didn't think it was far enough along to have arms or legs. The doctor told her differently though since she had just a bit more gain it would be a long time before she would feel the baby kicking. It was time for her to start getting healthier he told her. "You need to eat more but eat healthily. You have small, narrow hips so this might cause a few complications in labor unless you stop exercising too much and slow down. Take some time off in front of the TV and make sure you're eating a bit of sweets here and there," he told her and even though most women would be happy about this she was infuriated. She had been a wrestler most of her life so this wasn't something she wanted to know!
"Can you believe that guy?! He actually wants me to beef up!" she complained to Gackt in the car as they were driving back to the apartment he had taken up for her. It was one of the best in the whole town so she wasn't complaining about that but as he smiled down at her she felt her heart jump. He had been so gentle with her as of late and it scared her a bit but as he laid his hand on her growing tummy she felt strange. What was it about him that brought her so much happiness and love? He chuckled lightly and kissed her temple the small little gesture feeling so comfortable to her body that she leaned into it.
"He's just looking out for you and our child," he whispered tenderly making her heart skip yet another beat. That one word, our, sent her off into the deep end of passion each time he uttered it and she couldn't help but feel that prickling go across her chest and down her arms. She had been thinking about what he had told the others the day she had figured out she was pregnant and it made her feel odd. "What is it, Jamera? You seem to always be in deep thought." His dark blue eyes were full of compassion and she sighed lightly looking forward instead of at him.
His hand stroked her stomach gently making her relax a bit but she still didn't understand why. She hated her stomach and yet his simple touches were enough to make her feel happy and safe. "It's just thatI thought I was going to give up the child to adoption and now since you said it was yours," she trailed off but knew he would understand and it seemed that he did as he laid his lips against hers. Jamera was frightened of what was happening still but it was better when Gackt was there kissing her with that fiery passion that caused her to become weak at the knees.
There was a faltering in his kiss as his hand twitched but he pulled away to stare into her eyes. "I will help you raise this child if you allow me to, Jamera," Gackt said in that tender voice that made Jamera's eyes fill with tears. She didn't mean to cry but she was so emotional with the way things were going that she couldn't help it. He just held her though. "Don't cry, Jamera. This child is mine. Even though she wasn't made of my seed I will love her just as love her mother. Please, allow me this simple pleasure." His words calmed her down and made her eyes widen as she had the side of her face pressed into his chest holding onto his shirt. How could Gackt do this?! He was killing her on the inside! And she couldn't do a damn thing about it! She felt as if she wasn't in control anymore!
Then she stopped when she recalled something in his declaration that made her pull back and glare playfully. "What do you mean she?! I told you that my child is a boy!" she said poking his chest to emphasize the severity of the subject. He didn't understand why she would be so defensive about the gender of the child but as he laid his hand on her stomach again he shook his head. What was he some kind of psychic?! WaitJamera could recall something about Gackt that Lilly had said back when she was running her mouth about him. This was before Jamera had met the man but as she thought about it something seemed to stick out to her. Lilly had said something about Gackt saying he didn't want to have children because he thought he was psychic and didn't want to pass it on.
He took her hands into his and looked into her eyes with his dark blue orbs that carried so much. They had both changed a great deal since they had first come in contact with each other but now as he sat there it seemed as if he too had a secret. "Jamera, I can see things that others can't. I didn't want to tell you for fear that you would reject me but I can. It's hard to explain but it was from a tragic accident back when I was younger. This is the reason for all of the publicity. I can see that the baby will be a girl. What are you so afraid of?" he explained but she couldnt answer the last question. What if he knew? If he knew then he would hate her and this was something she would never be able to handle so she just decided to shake her head. He tipped her face up by her chin and looked at her again; she knew he didn't believe just a shake of her head.
"My family has had a curse with girls is all I'm going to say," she said pushing his hand away in an irritated way staring out the tinted window beside her. Gackt gave a frown but he was used to her major mood swings now and would give her time to adjust to the change of events. She would tell him eventually but until then he would wait until she was ready. This must be something pretty bad if she was to keep it secret from him but then again she had always been a bit on the secretive side. Her life hadn't been easy though and he could tell that just by watching her sit there staring out the window. Something must be going through her mind but what? He wanted to know everything about her and there was nothing that could keep him away from her once they had met.
Something about her had drawn him in and something about the way she seemed to hate Gackt at first glance was enticing to him. He desired nothing more than to keep her as his own but if she didn't open up to him then there was no use for it. Gackt had always been told he was someone who loved a woman that could kick his ass. This was true in so many different aspects of his life and yet as he sat there next to her with his hand on the back of the seat he couldn't understand why she didn't see this in his eyes. Their kissing was passionate and full of meaning but when she turned away there was hurt cast across her beautiful face. He wanted to hold her but they were back at their apartment so instead the drive opened up the door so she could slide out.
Going after her he was suddenly attacked by someone causing him to be knocked back into the limo behind him. Seeing as the door had been closed after he had gotten out he hit the side of the car with his hand up against the window. Gackt blinked a couple of times thinking it might be one of his many groupies as they called themselves but instead he looked down to see a mop of blue corn rolls with black and white and brown all in them. He knew exactly this was and it brought a smile to his face as he picked her up and twirled her around. "Jun! When did you get here?!" he asked happily as he set her back down to her feet at such a short stature that it rivaled that of a dwarfs. She was only about four-nine in height so it was a huge difference from most of the other people around.
This time it was Lilly who seemed to be as happy as ever. She was giggling and Jamera had always loved it when her sister was like that. It brought a smile to the older twin's face as she watched the two have a competition to see who could tickle the other more. They were just as wild and there was a bunch of laughter causing Jamera to look over to the door where the members of GacktJOB were with another four Japanese guys. They were all chuckling amongst themselves and soon there was a hand placed on Jamera's almost flat tummy. Come to find out it was Lilly placing Jun's hand there a childish innoncence in their expressions that brought Jamera a kind of serenity.
"Didn't I tell you?! He's kicking!" Lilly said as her larger hand was pressed onto the small hand of Jun who was touching the shirt of Jamera's body. They cooed over the baby and soon the five other guys were coming over to look down at her as well. "Jamera, I want you to meet the guys from The Gazette!" Lilly exclaimed as she almost attacked one of the guys who had a purple outfit on. He was probably the only guy Jamera had ever seen with the gall to show his thighs! "This is Uruha the lead guitarist!" She seemed so happy about this as she latched onto his arm a soft smile coming to his lips as if he was used to it. Just to prove that he was Jun took the other arm and started to bounce up and down.
Uruha was released as the girls moved to one of the other guys but he came up to lay a hand on Jamera's head, which ticked her off a bit. No one touched her like that except people she knew personally! "My real name is Takashima but you can call me Uruha if that's too much to remember, Ms. Jamera," he said as she reached up to take his hand away from her body. He blinked a couple of times then chuckled lightly as another guy was practically thrown at Jamera knocking her back into Gackt who was ready for that to happen. They must have planned it because now she was faced when some guy sporting a lip ring. He gave her a kind of apologetic look as there were a few giggles from the girls not too far from the three people standing up against each other.
This guy in front of her saw her eye twitched a bit and jumped back before she could do any real damage her arm jerking away from Gackt who laughed. "Jamera, this is Aoi the second guitarist! His real name is Shiroyama but we all call him Aoi!" the blue-eyed man said as he laid a hand on the girl's shoulder. She was starting to get into a bad mood so he knew that they should wrap this up quickly before she got anymore men thrown at her. "That over there with the black hair is Kai or Uke and he's the drummer than the one with the wrap around his face is Reita or Suzuki, he's the bassist, and finally there's the all famous vocalist, Ruki or Matsumoto!" He clapped his hands together just as Jun jumped into the arms of Ruki who caught her without a problem. "I brought them here to make sure you were kept safe until I return from my tour!"
Jamera was grimacing until she heard that last part and looked over at him surprised. "Y-You're not taking me with you this time?" she whispered feeling her mood change from irritated to sad within the blink of an eye. She hated mood swings with a passion and at the moment that was what was happening. His face said that it was true so she let out a sigh of defeat turning around to walk towards her apartment. "I'll be in my room if anyone needs me." She said this as she was walking through the door a frown coming to Gackt's lips while she did this. He hadn't wanted to hurt her but somewhere inside he knew he would if he told her this. Could you really blame him though? He wanted to keep her safe from getting hurt or possibly embarrassing herself in front of thousands of people. He had her best interests in mind.
Lilly and Jun looked at Gackt then to the girl who had disappeared into the room; they let out sighs as well and started into the building. The younger twin had known Jamera would react in this way; she had tried to warn Gackt but he said there was no other way. She knew he was right. She was worried about Jamera who had seemed to be getting more and more distraught as the days went on. She didn't understand what was so stressful about having a child but then again she had never really been with child before thoughshe shook the thought away from her mind as she walked with Jun who had become a good friend of hers since her arrival. They were soon at her sister's room and knocked lightly.
Jamera kicked the door as she closed it making sure her foot ached afterwards; a sob lifted through the air and as she sank to the floor she placed a hand over her stomach. If Gackt could really see things than why did he have to see her child being a girl?! It wasn't fair! "It's not fair! What the fuck did I do to deserve this God?! Are you trying to make my life a living Hellhole or are you having fun with seeing me break under how much pressure you've put me under?!" she shouted into the air sobbing desperately afterwards with her face pointed to the ground. She didn't want this child to be born with her defect. If it was thanthanshe would
A sharp scream lifted into the air that shook the whole hotel; even Gackt outside could hear it and took off running into the hotel but Lilly and Jun were the first to get there. "Jamera?!" her twin shouted running to her fallen sister to see the tears pouring down the woman's face. This was something that didn't happen very often but Jamera looked up anyways to see her sister and pushed her face into the younger woman's chest bawling horribly. Lilly's eyes were filled with worry and anguish as her other side wailed into her front making things so harsh on the young woman. "What's wrong?" Lilly asked gently but Jamera just pulled away and walked into the bathroom right when Gackt burst through the door with the members of The Gazette followed soon after him.
The blue-eyed Asian ran to the door and pounded on it mercilessly demanding entrance from the girl who had locked the door. "JameraJameraJamera! Jamera let me in! What's wrong?!" he shouted in his thick accent earning nothing but a sharp command from Jamera to, go the fuck away, before he finally gave up trying. "Please, Jamera, y-you're scaring all of us. I'm not going to be gone for long but I can't take you with me. I don't want you getting sick. Please, come out of there?" He was whispering through the door but the only thing that came to his ear was a loud thump against the door. She must have kicked the door to try and make him go away but he was staying where he was staring into nothing.
Quietly, Jun came over with a bobby pin handing it to Gackt who looked at it then smirked lightly. He picked the lock knowing that Jamera had probably figured this out but soon the locked clicked and he stepped into the room. Jamera was sitting in the bathtub, her head against the wall, with a vacant look in her green eyes making him worry all the more. She looked as if she had given up hope or was sleeping with her eyes open. He locked the door and walked over to slip in behind her; her legs were up on his as they sat there. "Jamera, tell me what's wrong. I want you to be happy but you know I can't do that and risk your health at the same time," he whispered gently before holding her tightly around her waist. He wished she would at least look at him but she stayed still for a long time.
Jamera was so depressed she barely noticed Gackt getting into the room and sitting behind her until his arms wrapped around her waist his voice grazing across her mind. It wasnt even the part where he was leaving her with The Gazette and Jun but the part where she was having a female child! That child was sure to be born with"No, I justwas really wanting a male child is all," she whispered after a while. Gackt seemed surprised but she had a feeling he knew she wasn't telling him the truth. She couldnt tell him yet. She had to keep this to herself. This wasn't something she had told anyone and the only people who knew were a few doctors and nurses and her real parents, Lilly's parents. If she told him thishe would hate her.
Thank you for reading! x3 Sorry it took so long but I have SAT's coming up so I'm packed with studying! This is actually my only release from all of that studying so maybe these last few parts will be really good!
