::One Shot:: Gorgeous Eyes Shine Suicide ::Vengeance\Moore::

...I remember the very first day I laid eyes on you. I remember when I first met you. I remember when I first liked you.
It was long ago now, but I still remember. I couldn't forget. It was your very first day of school; you walked into my homeroom in the middle of freshman year, not even the least bit nervous. Your gorgeous green eyes were shining and your smile was so friendly. Your gaze slowly traveled over my way and you stared at me, probably cause I was staring right back. Our eye locked for what seemed like hours, but was really only mere seconds. Looking away, you went over to the other side of the room, the side where all the kids who were tough, stuck up, rich and popular were.
A week later, you guys were all close friends. You took after them quickly. You helped them make fun of me and hurt me. The loser, the freak, the idiot.
You never seemed to enjoy hurting me and beating on me until I passed out. You just did it to fit in. It's amazing how far a kid would go to be popular, don't you think?
Some days, you would just leave me out there on the football field, not being able to move for hours. Other times, a teacher would notice and you guys would head for the forest before you were told to go to the principles office, before you guys got suspended. Chickens.
For months and months this would happen. Beating on me like you guys were dogs and I was just a rag that was useless and defenseless.
You soon took the easy way out. No more physical pain from you. It was the way that the others started out with. The way they found way ineffective. The way you were good at. The one way you wouldn't get in trouble because if I dared to tell, I would have no proof like I would when I came out of a beating with black eyes, bloody cuts and bruises covering my body. This new way would be the insults, the ones that hurt me mentally. These are the ones that would stick with me for a long time. Your friends were surprised that your new techniques were working. Of course it would hurt me; the insults were coming from you. You caused my self esteem to lower and lower everyday darling.
Now I may sound insane for saying this but it's true. No matter how much you hurt me or hate me, I still liked you. Liked you in a way you would never accept.

I will never forget the day when I ended up in the hospital. What a horrible day that was. I had just entered the school yard, walking across the field on a chilly November morning. I saw you and your friends hanging out by a tree, laughing and having a good time. I picked up my pace and hoped I would make it into the school before you and your gang noticed me.
I was wrong though, I just couldn't move my feet fast enough. One of the older, taller guys looked over my way and ran towards me. The others laughed and followed him, so did you. I ran from you guys of course, I wasn't going to give in that fast. Your friend who I now know as Brian caught up to me. Pretty damn fast for a smoker I think. He pounced on me from behind and pinned me down to the cold and damp grass. I tried to escape but I was just weak. Then I saw you, standing over me. You glanced down at me with sadness in your eyes. You looked at Brian and he smiled, making you join him.
You did. You punched me right in the face. You and Brian beat on me, the others in a circle cheering and yelling "fight fight fight" You seemed to love the attention you were getting, which made you hurt me even more. After a while, I was knocked out again, hoping I would just die. Hoping to leave the world and go somewhere where I was actually wanted by someone like you.
Several days later, I awoke in a hospital. I was told that my ribs were broken; almost puncturing my lungs which would have made me die. Why didn't you go that one extra kick? I would have thought you wanted me to be dead. Sure did seem like it.
A teacher, your worst enemy I suppose, caught you and the others. You were too caught up in the moment to notice he was coming your way. He called 911, he took you to the principle, and you and Brian were suspended.
I was told so many things from the doctor. She told me that you came to the hospital and asked if I had woken up from the coma yet. She told me that when I did wake up, that you wanted to know right away. She told me you were sorry.
As much as I wanted to ignore you, hate you, and murder you, I still liked you. Amazing, huh? I wanted to not forgive you for what you did to me. That just didn't happen though.
You came to the hospital the next day, walking into my room quietly and carefully. I diverted my attention from the television to you. Once you saw me, your eyes grew wide. I'm guessing you finally noticed all the damage you did to me.
I came over to the side of my bed slowly, you apologized over and over. I didn't want to forgive you, but I did. In the end, I forgave you. You still werent happy I guess. You didn't accept me forgiving you. I bet you thought I was just saying that. I forgave you because I love you. Yes. Love. It's no longer a crush.
After that day, things were never the same between us. You visited me every day at the hospital. Every day you would bring me my homework. You would tell me what was happening at school. You would tell me about what was happening in the place I hated. I didn't mind though, I loved hearing your voice.
For the next two weeks that I was stuck in that hospital, we became friends. I loved that. Being friends with you. Of course, you couldn't tell your friends that. What would they think of you then? You didnt want to ruin your reputation that you were building.

As soon as I was out, my parents transferred me. I was sent to a different school so I thought I would no longer see you every day. I was wrong, I saw you every day. You came to my house every day. You really were my friend, not forgetting me, not abandoning me like everyone else would.
Months after that, there was a day I could never forget no matter how much I tried. I was surprised actually. Never thought you would think of me like... that.
We were at my house, just talking in my room like we always did, playing games, practicing guitar together, and the usual.
You just made the move, catching me off guard you knocked me backwards and kissed me. I returned the kiss of course. Best day of my life by far.
For two years we were together. Two. Something I never expected. None of your friends ever found out. They may have gotten suspicious when you didn't have a girlfriend for a long period of time, but they never questioned you. You had so much reputation in that school that no one ever dared to question the one and only Zacky Vengeance.

Then there came a time when you because severely depressed. I don't know why exactly. You had everything. You were a senior, graduating in just three months. You were in a band everyone knew and loved. You were the most popular boy in school.
I became worried for you. You were never the same. You started not coming over my house for weeks. You started to become paranoid. You started to close out the world to everything in your own little world. I just wish I knew why.
Brian, your friend, came to my house after school one day. He wanted to know where I was. Like I would know, I haven't seen you in weeks. He said you haven't been in school for two weeks now and Brian thinks you have run off. He thinks you are afraid. Afraid of what exactly? I still don't know. I heard him mutter those words under his breath as he walked away that day.
You finally came back to me. You came to my house late one night alone and scared. You didn't say anything for a while; you just seemed to want to be with someone who wouldn't pester you about your whereabouts. With someone who would let you speak when you wanted.
Eventually, you spoke. You told me everything. You told me your parents kicked you out of the house. You told me they didn't accept you anymore. You told me that you had no where to go, no where to hide. Your parents found out you had a boyfriend, they never did approve of gays. You took up drugs and alcohol. Pot, heroin, cocaine... anything you could get your hands on. Your parents found out about that too, they never approved of druggies. Your grades fell tremendously, they never approved of stupid children. Then one day, Brian found out that you were in fact bi, he of course went and told the whole gang... who would never let you live it down. They abandoned you. I didn't though. I never could. Apparently, you just couldn't see that.
I finally found out what Brian meant though. He thought you were afraid to face them now. He thinks you didn't want to go near them because you know they would be the shit out of you just like they did to me. Just like you did to me.
My parents felt bad for you, they let you move in with us. I was ecstatic for the time... until that day came. The day that crashed my world down to the ground. That was the day that made me want to give up on everything all over again. The day I lost you.
It was Christmas morning, that was only two weeks ago. I remember waking up and being excited like a 5 year old on Christmas morning waiting to see all that Santa brought. I rushed into your room to greet you, but you werent there. I figured you were downstairs already, just as happy as I was. But... you werent there either. I thought you may have run away, that you just left and hoped that no one would notice. I noticed dear, I couldn't forget you and I couldn't just let you go. I searched the house for you. I eventually found out, in the worst state possible. You were gone, you were dead. You committed suicide... it hurt me to see you there on the cold floor of the basement.
I walked over to your dead, hopeless body slowly. I noticed you had several bottles of alcohol surrounding you. You had a syringe lying next to you and several razor blades. I couldn't believe you would do this to yourself. Do this to me.

rest in results... this time I totally dont blame you for not going there...
Now, I sit here upon your grave, two weeks after the suicide. It's snowing right now, it's pretty. I wish you were here to enjoy it with me. You left me alone, Zacky. I have nothing to live for now, you were my everything. I'm not kidding. I'm not exaggerating.
What if I killed myself right now? Would I be considered an idiot for killing myself over you? Over the person who I love so very much? What if I put this razor to my wrist and hacked away like a mad man for you? What if I grabbed a gun; placed it against my head and shot my brains out? No pain can compare to when I found you on the floor, dead and cold.
This one is for you, dear. The one who hurt me. The one who loved me. The one who cared. The one who kill himself.
Maybe I'll have the honor of meeting with you again in hell. Wouldn't that be nice?
I never thought that it would come to this really, killing myself over you.