Name: Jacqueline Marie Kerwin
Nickname(s):Jac
Age:20
In my twenty years of living, I'd never thought I'd see this. Bill stared at me, his slender body leaning against the counter. His arms crossed over his chest.
"Are you going to tell anyone?" he asked. His tone went with his glare.
I looked at my shoes and then back up at him. The process continued for a while. I would have to tell someone, wouldn't I? I couldn't keep a promise like that.
His face softened and he walked over to me, taking my hands in his. "Please Jac. The guys can't know. No one can."
"I-I don't know," I stuttered. "I don't think I can keep that."
His beautiful brown eyes stared into my own. "Please."
I sighed. "Alright."
"Thank you. Thank you so much Jac." He kissed my cheek.
I smiled as he took my hand and led me back into the room.
"What were you two doing in there?" Mike asked.
"Nothing," William replied quickly. "Nothing."
"Right."
"I'm gonna... go call Johnny," Will said, taking his phone with him out into the hall.
I sighed sitting next to Butcher on one of the beds. "What are you watching?" He shrugged. "You're a help. And you have... chip crumbs in your beard." He shrugged again.
I wasn't going to get used to touring with a bunch of guys. I don't know why I even agreed to do it. I'd known the guys for twenty-four hours before they sweet-talked me into doing merch. I remember the phone call from my parents the next day vividly.
I could hear my phone ringing from the front lounge, where I was sitting with the guys as they played poker. I broke apart from them for a few minutes to answer it.
"Hello?"
"Jacqueline Marie!" She always stopped after my middle name. Like my last name was tainted, and she thought it was ever since my father left. "Please tell me that the message you left for your father and I was a joke!"
"Steve isn't my father," I retorted.
"That isn't the point Jac! Please tell me you that you aren't on the road right now with five men."
"Actually, if you count their tour manager and the other merch-"
"Tell me it's not true!"
I sighed. I wasn't in the mood for my mom yelling. "Yes, mom. It's true."
"You don't know these boys."
"But they're nice. And I love their music."
"That's no-"
"I have to go mom. Love you. Bye." I flipped my phone shut and threw it back on my bunk.
Of course she didn't accept it. She could have stopped me when I went home to pack. But of course she didn't notice I was there. Even if she did mumble that hello when I walked in the door.
"What's wrong?" Tom asked. I looked at him as if he were crazy. I hadn't noticed that I'd let a few tears slip.
"Oh, nothing." I wiped them away. My mother was a stupid reason to cry. I hated her, and I think I always had. She used my father leaving as an excuse to always be away. If I remember right, I was only four. So I had learned to take care of myself like she should have.
"It doesn't look like nothing," he said, putting an arm over my shoulders and pulling me close.
"I-I'm just a little homesick. That's all."
"Two weeks and you're already bored with us?"
I chuckled. "That's not it Tombo."
"There's that smile we went for." It made me smile even wider.
"Thanks Tom," I sniffled.
He smiled as a welcome.
At least he bought it. None of the boys knew about my family. I always changed the subject when they brought it up. I guess they all assumed that I had wonderful parents and maybe a brother or sister. Well, they knew I had a sister. But I tried to avoid mentioning her as much as I did everyone else.
I knew a lot about the boys. They told me just about everything. And I was grateful that they didn't pry with me.
I bet you're wondering exactly how I met The Academy Is...
I wasn't sure how we managed to get first in line. Jon, my best friend, and I were both at Warped Tour, waiting in line for an Academy Is signing. It was surreal that I was going to meet one of my favorite bands.
"You know we're missing Every Time I Die for this, right?" he questioned.
"I want to see them too. But if that's the price we pay, oh well," I replied. He rolled his eyes, and looked down at the ground. "If you want to see them so bad, go."
"No, no. I'll stay here and wait for the fags to sign a lousy poster."
"I hope it's the heat talking for you."
He huffed, but I wasn't paying attention. At the same moment the band was sitting at the table right in front of me. William looked up and smiled at me. He held his hand out so I could shake it.
"I don't wanna sound all fan girl-ish. But I really love your music."
"That's awesome. I love hearing people tell me they love us, not to be cocky."
I chuckled.
"You're holding up the line Jac," Jon whispered to me.
"Before you move on to my dear friend here," Will gestured toward Mike. "If you stay after the signing, you can come back with us to our bus."
I smiled. "That'd be so rad!"
"Great. So I'll see you soon."
I nodded.
Jon and I both went through the line quickly after that. I stood at the side of the tent.
"I want to go watch ETID," Jon whined.
"I'm staying here. I got offered to hang out, so I'm going to."
"Well, I don't fucking like them! I shouldn't have to wait here."
"No, you shouldn't have to wait. But you should want to because you're my best friend."
"Fuck that. Call me when you're done partying."
He walked away after that. I wasn't going to be upset, because he'd done things like that before. I probably wasn't going to call him either. I'd find a way home...
I didn't exactly find a way home. And I guess I lied when I said I only knew the guys twenty-four hours. It was less than that. Because that night I left with them for the rest of the tour.
I guess Jon really didn't care, because he didn't call me when I didn't call him. Or when I didn't show up at the car. No one from home called me. It was probably better that way.
I was thinking so much about everything else that I almost forgot where I was.
But Bill walked in, making me remember, "Johnny sends love." He looked at me for a minute. I hoped to God I wasn't crying again. "Your eyeliner's running," he said softly and then took a seat between Andy and I.
I wiped my eyes again with the sleeve of my shirt, eliminating all of my eyeliner. I'd wash my face later. But at that moment I was too exhausted to care. I leaned my head on Will's shoulder.
The show we were watching made no sense to me. "What are we watching?" I asked again.
"Project Runway," Bill told me.
"A bunch of dudes are watching this?"
Most of them nodded. They clearly didn't care what they watched, as long as they watched it.
I believe I slipped in and out of sleep. But I eventually ended up alone in the bed. The clock told me it was five. No one was up yet. Or at least I thought.
There was soft talking coming from the couch off to the side of the room. I got up slowly, stepping over two people on the floor and going to the couch. "William?"
He turned his head, hitting the small light above him. "Oh sorry. I thought you were sleeping. I read out loud when no one's around," he held his book up.
I yawned, "No, it's alright. I just woke up. I figured you'd be in the bed with me."
"After earlier I wasn't planning for sleep." He paused for a few seconds. "And I didn't want to-"
"Intrude?" He nodded. I took his hand and dragged him to the bed. "Lay down, get some sleep."
i don't love you like i did yesterday
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