Am I a recluse or are we in a rut?-- 1

Well, well. A new story. Yes it's slash, because its fun that way.

Created by pooperXscooperX2 on Saturday, November 04, 2006

I know I can be difficult, the way I lock myself in my own thoughts. Ive alienated myself from all; from everything and everyone. And that unfortunately includes you, my love. Im a recluse in my own mind. Its like severing yourself from all the connecting strings to the outside world, but being the one whos violently cutting those ties. I live all alone, with people around me all the time. In a limbo I cant escape. I feel awful for leaving you in the dark, love. Sometimes I wish it was you and me, just you and me. But I know it will never be like that. So until the time comes when you realize Im a lost case and a pathetic loser who doesnt deserve shit from you, Ill hold your hand and kiss your soft lips. Ill tell you youre my everything. But you wont believe me and instead give me that somber smile, the one thats been wearing on your lips too often lately. It must be awful to love an empty shell of a person like myself, youve got so much energy and life and youre squandering it all on me. Spoiling me with attention and even adoration, I have no reasoning for your attachment to me. I love it though because Im selfish. I take and take and take, but give nothing back in return. Im a fucking unworthy bastard. I know this. Brendon, Im sorry. Im sorry. And I know that those two small words seem so inadequate. Theres something amiss in this relationship me.
Now if only I had the courage to say that to him. If only I could manage to quit being a fucking coward for a minute, because really thats all it would take for me to say that to him. But no, Ill keep hidden in my own spinelessness and hypocrisy. God, what a waste I am.

brendon_urie--large-msg-11608757574.jpg
Cute picture huh?

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