Priscilla and the Wimps

this is an ending to a story that i had to write for school so it probably wont make sense in the begaining. i just want to know what you guys think about the way i wrote it.

Created by aquacat49 on Monday, December 11, 2006

little summary of what happened: A kid named Melvin (a short geek like character) hangs out with a large (as in muscle or brawn) girl. they go to a school where there is a gang of bulies called the Kobras (no that isn't a mispelling). One day one of the Kobras slams Melvin against a locker at dismisal when everyone has left. Then Priscilla is standing behind the Kobra.
if you need more of an intro on what happened message me and i'll try to remember more because i dont have the sheet with me because i had to pass it in to the teacher so she could use it again.
And what do you think youre doing to Melvin? Pricilla asked, half threatening, half asking.
The Kobra turned around, surprised by her sudden presence, but was not afraid of her threat. He found it funny, a joke almost.
Just getting a pass. Why, I dont see anything wrong, Im just persuading him. The Kobra replied, slyly, letting go of Melvins neck.
Priscilla just shrugged whilst replying a simple Okay. Then she turned around, her back to the Korbra and Melvin, and started to walk away.
I see youre just giving up! The Kobra yelled to Priscilla while her form slowly disappeared into the hallway.
I guess that goes to show you that not everything is what it seems to be. People found out later that Priscilla was indeed not Melvins friend. She got Melvin to pay her to try to protect her from the Kobras, but really she was a Kobra herself. She was giving the money she got from Melvins payments to Mighty Monk. The reason why they acted like friends, Priscilla and Melvin, was so that they wouldnt look suspicious. Priscilla was an undercover Kobra thats why she didnt seem to notice the Koras until that day in the hallway when all was reviled about Priscilla and Melvins friendship. After that more Kobras tried to be like Priscilla and go undercover as friends but most were caught in the middle of the act. They werent real friends, those Kobras, because real friends help you when your down, dont tell secretes to others that you want kept between you and them, or leave them in a hallway at school to get beat up by a bully.
hopefully you understood the intro thing and i hope you liked it.
i hope you all liked the ending of the story i wrote. the begaining of the story that i had to summarize was not written by me. the second "question" was. i hope you all liked it and i wish for feed back on it and my 2 stories.

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