Desolate

I'm not exactly sure where I should begin. I guess it is essential to know that it was late. The moon had arisen, crescent and eerie, high in the dark October sky. Rain clouds were forming over head and, with every drop, I knew how cliche my life had become.

I drove my finger tips under my arms, seeking the warmth of my armpits. I had mocked many men who had done just this in school, but at that moment the blood circulation to the tips of my fingers was all that mattered. My sweater was heavy, though not heavy enough. And my shoes were not the right kind of shoes to be running away in.

Not necessarily running, I suppose. It was more like walking away. But, if I were to have originally said walking would it have made the same impact? I didn't think so.

My hair wasn't much of anything, if you were wondering. Hell, my appearance wasn't much of anything. My make-up was half rubbed off and black ovals had formed under my eyes. I looked like a drowning raccoon, especially when the rain began to fall harder.

Behind me, the house on the hill rose high above the network of houses. All the lights in the town were conveniently turned off -- as though everyone was at party and I was alienated once again.
I was happy he hadn't chased after me. It wasn't like him to show emotion for much of anything. Expect that damned snake. And, on a good day, me. Today had proven not to be a good day.

I was so sick of his ranting... And I just made one little comment... No harm, no foul. He exploded! As though his harsh words had any effect on me now however. I barely took his threats into consideration. He was too concerned about his Mudbloods and his Purebloods. How could he even pass judgment on which was better -- he wasn't even a Pureblood!
My full skirts were weighing me down as they collected more water. I wanted nothing more than to leave this town. I was too young to apparate though... And my wand was foolishly left on his bedside table.
I stopped in the middle of some sort of square. It was dark and desolate... And I realized for the first time that I was alone. I was sixteen and vulnerable. I was wet and tired. My bones ached, screaming for the warmth of the hearth and maybe his touch.
My leather ankle boots were squeaking from the raindrops that had fallen into them. This wasn't me. This was a runner... A coward. This was who he wanted me to be... And I couldn't withstand the borders he had set for me.
I was sixteen. I was alone. And I wanted nothing more than to be with him... In his arms and loved. Because, deep down, I was sure he loved me. More than anything... Even that godforsaken snake and his followers.

I let my skirts go, the swish of lace and satin filling the square. "Tom?" I knew he was listening in... He was always with me, wherever I turned. "Thomas... Take me home."
"I thought you would never call Celesta..." His drawl was like the wind... Cold and forgotten. He was there before me then, not worrying that his heavy cloak was suddenly attacked by bullets of rain. Opening his arms to me, he didn't flinch as I threw myself at him. I had done this other times in public and he had usually brushed me off or I would find myself on the floor.
I was shaking now, the cold really pushing past my skin and etching it's signature into my bones. But... He did not apparate away. Nor did he wrap his arms around me, bundling me in his cloak.
"Tom?" My words were meek, rattled with chattering teeth.
"Celesta... No foul deed goes unpunished."

Hypothermia would overtake me before he even batted an eyelash. "Thomas Riddle! You mongrel! You say you love me, to sway me into your bed! And now you enrage me! Punishing me for standing up for myself! Do you have no conscience? Do you not love me?"
The single question that had been gnawing at me for too long had erupted, breezing past my lips before I could even wrap my tongue around them. My hand, which rested upon his chest, felt his heart skip a few beats, as though some child had just skipped it across a pool of water. His eyes narrowed and the smile he had dropped from the pale face.
His brown glass orbs shone through me and I could feel his invading mind. It was like footsteps on my soul; imprints on my heart. I would never forget that he could not answer... He couldn't function around that word.
"You don't, do you?" I realized it then. Whatever had happened between us...? He wasn't the boy from Hogwarts that I remembered. He wasn't that kid with the smile and the shiny Prefects' badge. He wasn't a person at all, if I could remember correctly. He was a lord.
I tore myself from him. "Leave. You don't love me -- YOU DON'T KNOW HOW." He stood, immobile. I wondered if my words had any effect on him. "You are cold... You are evil! And now -- now! -- you are nothing to me." My words were filled with malice, laced with anger and envy.

"I enjoy your anger. You have such a spirit, my Celesta." He breathed, walking towards me. I went to move away, but with force he grabbed my chin and turned it to him. Slowly, he bowed his head. His lips connected with mine and he kissed me. His lips were cold like plastic and his teeth bit a little too hard at my lower lip. The copper taste of blood blurred my thoughts as my knees buckled. And, once more, I fell for him. I loved him... And I would never forget.

He was gone before I could catch her breath. And I knew that was the last time, for a long time, that we would ever mold together. He couldn't love me... He couldn't even love himself.

Again, I wondered if my words had any effect on him. He had a right affect on me... Though I braced myself against my emotions. No tears, no whimpers... All that was left was the cold -- the one thing that reminded me of him the most.


How was I to know that up on that horrid hill, he was ruining a perfectly good set of China and half the antiques his family had collected over the ages. I had pushed him to the edge. From that day forth, he was merciless... He had become what we had feared. From the ashes of our love had risen Lord Voldemort.

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