..:::***Why me?***:::. (A Sesshomaru Love story) Chapter 1

Listen to your heart; it always knows what its saying. And thank you for wanting to try this story. And I hope you will rate and message, or just rate, or just message . . . but at least, please rate. Im stalking, lol, sorry, here you go! ^___^

Created by engillinn on Friday, December 22, 2006

You saw the little cabin from where you stood saying good bye to you friends, Yuki and Keiko. You where all exhausted from working all day long and you were looking forward to sleep. As Yuki and Keiko walked to two of the larger cabins, you walked to the poorer part of the village.

As you came closer to your home, the slower you walked. When you got to the door and felt the strong smell of sake in there and heard your father’s snores. You opened the door slowly and carefully and went in. Your father was lying more or less on the floor and an empty cub was lying a little from his old hand, and a little sake was on the floor. You sighted and took the cub up and decided not to try and move your father and just go to sleep. You took a little cat wash before bed and thanked God that you made this "wall" to seal you from the main entrance. A little bowl with water in it was on the floor next to you bed and your dog lay watching your every move. You thought about your father. He didn’t do anything. You had to build the wall your self. He was normaly sleeping, drinking, hanging with his drinking buddies, or he was fishing. The fishing part normaly happened in every two weeks.

But, like always, you thought by your self: ,,It isn’t his fault that he drinks a lot! It’s just because of mom’s death and little brothers. He just doesn’t know how to get over it . . . ,,

But truth is he had always been like that. But you denied it. He was the only one left of your family. Your mom died when you where ten when she was trying to give birth to her fourth child. But she failed. She died from blood loss, and the little baby boy was born dead, like all the other children. You where your parents little miracle. Before you six children had died. But enough of that.

You and your father where the only ones left of your family, and you where the one working. You worked from sunrise to eight o’clock. But not on Saturday and Sunday. That would change in four months. Then you would be sixteen. A full grown woman, then you would get married and have children’s of your own. You where looking forward to it, getting children. You loved them.

You lay down on the mattress and fell almost instantly with Ai’s cute snoring sound in your ear.


________________________________________________________________________

A cold and wet nose was in your ear and then a tongue in your face. You giggled and Ai sat down on her butt with her tongue out of her mouth and waited for you to give her something to eat.

,,Yeah yeah . . . greedy dog! It’s on the way. Just don’t bark, I guess that Father is still sleeping . . .,,

You sneaked in to the kitchen and saw your father still sleeping in the same position as last night. You hated the way you father lived his life, but your mother had raised you to respect the older ones. They often knew better what to do in life. So even though you almost hated your father, you still respected him and his way of lifestyle.

Your father was an elderly man. He had gray hair and a huge beer tummy. He was around 50-55. You had his eyes. Almost the only thing he had given you since you were five.

You fed the dog, got yourself a meal, and made a lunch for you and got ready for work. You did many things. Like washed clothes, cleaned skins, cut down the meat, watched the children for the richer people in the village, cleaned Miss Atiro’s hut, took care of some animals, and moved rocks from the mine. But that was only sometimes. And when someone got hurt, some girls where called to take care of the wounded. But for today, it was the mine for you.

,,Hey! Sayuri!,,

You turned around as you where walking up the hill to the mine. You saw Ritsu working his way up. You waited for him and when he reached you, you walked again.

,,Hi there Sayuri.,,

,,Hello Ritsu. How are you today?,,

,,Surprisingly, I’m feeling wonderful. What about you?,,

,,I’m feeling alright, thank you. How are you parent’s?,,

,,Good as well. I’m not even going to ask about your father. What a riot yesterday! He and Ban’s father . . .,,

,,Please don’t tell me! It’s enough that he was dead drunk at home yesterday. And this morning.,,

,,You really can’t lie, can you Sayuri?,,

,,You know I can. I just don’t want to. You get this awful feeling in your stomach . . .,,

,,How do you know? HAVE you ever lied?,,

,,Very funny. Are you supposed to work here all day?,,

,,Naaaaaah . . . Just half of the day. It’s my birth day, ya know . . .,,

,,It is?! I’m sorry, congratulations! You are sixteen now right?,,

,,Yeb. Can get married and ask a woman to marry me.,,

,,And do I know the woman that will get the honor of marrying you?,,

,,Still have to wait four months for that.,,

,,Really?! When is her birthday?,,

,,16th of May.,,

You stopped a moment: ,,What a coincident! That’s my birthday . . .,,

,,I know.,,

,,Does this girl live in the village?,,

,,Yeah.,,

,,But I’m the only girl in the village that will turn 16 in the 16th of May . . .,,

,,I know that too.,,

You looked at Ritsu like he was crazy. But his gray eyes where sincere, and his black hair was a bit messy as always. He was much higher then you, you where only 5’5 and he was almost a head higher then you. You finally said: ,,This is a joke right? Are any of your stupid friends around hiding and waiting for me to fall in the trap?,,

,,No. Why would this be a joke? Don’t you believe me? I thought you always believed everything that was said to you. You did that when we where younger. Like that thing with the demon in the lake . . .,,

,,That was a nasty thing to do . . .,, you mumbled. Ritsu laughed and said: ,,Yeah, but you believed it! But I have admit I do often lie to you, but I swear to you, this isn’t a lie!,,

,,But . . . But . . . Why?,,

Your eyes widen as you couldn’t believe this. Ritsu had been your friend since you where three. He had always been there for you, and he helped you after your mother’s death. When she died you ran to his house and knocked on the wall to his room. It was in the middle of the night, but he still came out and asked what was wrong. Why she was crying. You remembered when you tossed your self on him and hugged him like you didn’t ever want to let go. You where scared that he would also die from you. Yu told him what happened and he understood. He comforted you and took better care of you if that was possible.

,,Because. Why do people get married, stupid?,,

,,But why me?,,

,,You can some times be very irritating ya know . . . because, I want you, no one else!,,

You didn’t know what to answer. You did care for Ritsu. But loved him? Marry?

,,I have to think about this Ritsu. I’m not 16 yet.,,

He looked disappointed: ,,You don’t return my feelings?,,

You said it carefully: ,,I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it, ever . . . I . . . can’t get married for other four months.,,

He smiled and held your hands in his and said: ,,Of course! But please, consider this Yumi! I beg of you!,,

You tried to avoid his gaze and nodded. Then you looked at the position of the sun from the corner of your eye and said: ,,We’re late . . .,,

Ritsu sighted as he looked at the sun as well. Then he let your hands go and you thanked God for that. You continued walking up, but it looked like you where sleepwalking. When you got to the mine, Mister Yo started to yell at you two being late. When he paused to take another deep breath and between your begging for forgiveness Ritsu said: ,,It’s my fault Sayuri is late. My mother wanted to talk to her. Can we now go to work?,,

Mister Yo grumbled something about young people today, but left. You had been looking at your toes for the whole time and mumbled something that was supposed to be thanks and you left to your work. As you where pushing heavy carts of rocks you thought about Ritsu’s proposal. Did you love him?

No. You really cared for him though. You just looked at him as the best friend you could have. And he would never be something else and more. You couldn’t think of a life as Ritsu as you husband.

You had to say no.

It was finally lunch time and every one went home to eat. You just walked to a nearby lake. It was pretty far from the mine and just perfectly close so you could hear when work started again, so you could relax.

You where sitting on one of the rocks and your legs where in the cool water. You loved this place. It was so calm and quiet, and sometimes some animals came to have a drink. Suddenly you felt something crawl up your arm. You got stiff and looked slowly down on your hand. Your face went white. A caterpillar was on your hand.

,,EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF GETT IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!,,

You where screaming the same thing hysterically until you noticed the caterpillar was gone off you hand. You sighted and sat down. As you were going to relax a bit before work, you felt the earth shake. Not like there is an earthquake, but something else. You raised you self up and listened carefully. What was that? It sounded like yelling and screaming . . .

,,The village!,,

You ran to the village and just as you where getting out of the forest, a big herd of animals came running your way. A big boar came running your way, but you through yourself from it and tried not to get hit by any of the animals. When the last bird was gone you ran again to the village.

,,Please be ok, please be ok!,,

You got to the mine and sniffed, as a stench filled the air. The smell reminded you of fire, and when the animals where slaughtered. Burning flesh and boiling blood. You ran to the hill and you froze by the sight. Every house was burnt down. Everywhere where bodies lying, burnt or sliced into pieces. The fence with the animals had been tarred down, and they where all dead. By the farer end of the burnt down village, there was a pile. Of bodies. All the children you had been taking care of and many more, they where all there. Their little faces marked with fear and terror of the one who slaughtered them.

You where numb, didn’t know how to react. Then you finally came to your senses and ran down wards. You knew you where much too late, but you just couldn’t accept this. You where almost down, when you tripped and fell to the ground. You hadn’t noticed, but tears had been flowing down your cheeks with out your permission. You never cried. Not after . . .

You stood back up and wanted to go to your home, see if Ai or your father where still alive. But you thought by your self: ,,It’s better not to see them dead, better to have the memories of them living in my mind.,,

You didn’t go any further. Better not. You would only feel more grief. You sobbed and saw the middle of the village in between the flames. There was someone there . . .

You narrowed your eyes and saw that it was a man. His red eyes wandered over the destruction and a cold smirk on his lips told you, that he was amused by the work he had done. Then his eyes looked over the flames and they landed on you.

You fled. His eyes following you every step to the forest. You fled as fast as you could. Tree branches hit your arms and bushes tied down your legs. But you still kept going, wanting nothing more then getting away from that evil man. But the picture of your burning home was stuck on your eyelids. The burning houses, the earth red with blood from those that had been your friends and co-workers, boss or even just neighbors. The little children that had died from the pain of blood loss when their arms where cut of or legs. They had watched their parents die, trying to help them.

How could any one be so evil? To kill innocent children and destroy a whole village.

You couldn’t understand evil. Nor did you understand how people can be evil, or how evil they could be.

It felt hard to breath, and your legs could barely move. Your heart was trembling and your breath was unstable. You collapsed on the grass and lay there, with out moving. You tried to catch your breath, but as soon as you did, you sobbed and cried. When tears denied to come, you sobbed and, you didn’t even notice it, you fell asleep.

________________________________________________________________________

You heard something. You opened your eyes slowly, and noticed that it was getting dark and colder. But this sound . . . a little girl? Then some other tone, annoyed answered the girl. Then again the little girl’s voice, and then a new one, a male’s voice. And nothing after that.

You blinked your eyes. Persons? Since when where there any one in the woods? Where did they go? Why is there all of a sudden quiet? Why did they go?

,,Did I just imagine it? Them? I wanna see them . . .,,

You walked towards where they had been, the voices. Then when you where starting to think this was just something your mind made up you heard the little girl: ,,I can’t hear anything . . .,,

,,Be quiet!,,

The male voice spoke. Just few trees away from you. You stooped. Then the male voice spoke again: ,,Come out wench. I don’t have time to wait for you.,,

%How did he know?%

You where scared to death, both because the killer in the village was still in your mind, and the voice was cold as ice. You still decided to go. Things couldn’t get any worse, could they?

You bit your lower lip and tried to breath normaly as you took your first steps to the . . . Who? For all you knew they could be just as cruel demons, desperate to kill any human being.

But you still kept going. When you saw them you stopped. The little girl, maybe 8-10 years old, with black hair and big eyes, a little imp, green and ugly fellow with huge eyes like dishes, and the most beautiful man you had ever seen. His golden eyes looked at you coldly and his long white hair swift with the wind. He was tall, in a white kimono with red sleeves, an armor, and something yellow and blue wrapped around his waist. He was still watching you and his gaze told you that he wanted, no, demanded to know what the hell you where doing, crossing his path, and you should show him respect. But probably the first thing you noticed where the demon markings on his forehead and chins. He also had a large fur thingie on his shoulder. You didn’t know what to do, your raise told you not to show a demon your respect, but to fear him like death it self, but this demon told you that if you wouldn’t show him respect, you would die. You still looked him in the eye, cared to death of doing something that might make him unpleased. Then suddenly he took his sword from its sheath and walked your way. You got pale and your stomach turned inside out. He was going to kill you!!!!! Your heart trembled and you couldn’t believe this was happening. Then the little girl yelled: ,,Look out lady!,,

You watched her finger pointing behind you and quickly turned around. A spider demon was running your way. And the first thing you could think of was . . .

,,EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!,,

You ran to the closest shelter there was, the beautiful demon. Then a little slice-sound and a low bump-sound after that told you the ugly spider demon was dead. You looked at it and one part was lying on the ground and the other one, with the eight feet on, was just falling to the ground. You looked up to the demon with the golden eyes which was still waiting for you to do something. You where already on your knees, so you bent forward saying: ,,Arigatou gozaimasu! Thank you so much sir! I’m, sorry for disturbing you and your accompany, I’m so sorry! Gomen nasai! What can I do to show you my gratitude and thank you? I can do everything, anything that need to be done! I beg of you to let me thank you!,,

The little girl giggled a bit and you fought yourself not to look up to her. She said: ,,I don’t think I have ever seen anyone so grateful to you, Sesshomaru-sama! Or to anyone! She is funny! I like her! Please can we take her home? Please, Sesshomaru-sama?,,

There was dead silence. You where still lying face down in front of him. Then he spoke: ,,Give me one reason human wench, why I shall take you to my home.,,

You thought carefully over every compliment you had been given or the past few years, your talents and everything that could help you on this moment. Then you picked your words with accuracy: ,,I’m really hardworking, I don’t give up on difficult tasks. I can clean up, I can cook, I know just about anything that a woman needs to know. I follow orders without hesitation. I . . . don’t have anything that slows me down anymore.,,

The ugly imp said with impatience: ,,Lord Sesshomaru, I think we should move on. This human wench is dead anyway.,,

He spoke coldly and calm to the imp: ,,Are you giving me advices on my decisions Jaken?,,

The imp yelled in a scared tone: ,,Of course not Lord Sesshomaru! I just think it’s best to leave the human . . .,,

,,Jaken-sama, I think we should let Sesshomaru-sama decide. But I really want her to come, then she can play with me!,,

Again silence filled the little clearing. Then the demon, which name was Lord Sesshomaru, said: ,,Then you will be Rin’s babysitter. And if you fall behind, we won’t come back after you. Now let’s get moving. Enough time wasted.,,

Then he walked past you before you could say thank you. The little girl yelled: ,,YAY! Thank you Sesshomaru-sama! I promise she will be the best one ever!,,

Then she walked to you and took your arm: ,,Wow, now we can be best friends! What’s your name? My name is Rin, and this is Janken-sama, and that is Sesshomaru-sama!,,

You smiled to the little girl and said: ,,Hi Rin, my name is Sayuri. You can call me Yuri.,,

,,Ok Yuri-chan, but we have to hurry, or else we will fall behind. And Sesshomaru-sama doesn’t like it when I fall behind. Common!,,

She took your arm and dragged you up. She ran after that little imp and Lord Sesshomaru. Now you worked for him and you had to do as he said, no matter what. Just like when you where cleaning Miss Atiro’s hut. But he was a man. And not old. Well, he didn’t look like it anyways.

,,Yuri-chan, where do you live?,,

,,I . . . nowhere. I don’t live anywhere any more.,,

,,Why?,,

,,Because my village was destroyed. There is nothing left of it.,,

,,That’s sad. Who did it?,,

,,I don’t know. I wish I would. But where do you live Rin?,,

,,I live with Sesshomaru-sama! I have two rooms, one for my dolls and one for me to sleep in! I can’t wait to show you all my dolls! And then we can go out and play with my ball! Do you know how to read Yuri-chan?,,

,,Yes I do. My mother taught me to read.,,

,,She did? I wish I had a mommy do teach me to read.,,

You looked at the little girl with sadness in her eyes as you asked: ,,Don’t you have a mommy?,,

She looked at you and said: ,,No. But I have you now. I know! You can teach me! Sesshomaru-sama doesn’t have time, and Janken-sama doesn’t want to. Please?,,

She looked at you with puppy-dog eyes so you almost cried, remembering Ai. You smiled and said: ,,Of course, I’ll do my best!,,

,,Thank you Yuri-chan! But where did you get these scratches from?,,

You looked at your arms and saw some bruises too. You looked at your feet and saw there some scratches. You answered: ,,I was running through the forest. I was in a hurry.,,

She looked at you big eyed: ,,Why where you in a hurry?,,

This kid had all the questions in the world! You still didn’t want to talk about your home. Your heart was still aching from it.

,,It was getting late. I was getting hungry also.,,

,,Are you hungry now?,,

,,Why do you ask?,,

,,I just wanna know. The other babysitters say that I’m a little brat sometimes. Am I?,,

She was a little hurt, and you saw the imp was listening to you. So was Lord Sesshomaru. This child obviously meant a lot to them. Even though they didn’t show it. Rin was still waiting and you said: ,,Of course not! You are just a little curious, like me! It can be god to be curious. But not too much. It might get you into trouble.,,

Her eyes widened as you said this and she asked: ,,Really? I didn’t know that! I don’t want to get in trouble. Why am I curious?,,

That was a hard question. You had only "known" the girl for 15 minutes. And she was already talking to you like you had always known her.

You thought about what to answer until you came with the final conclusion: ,,I think you just want to know everything. Like, I wanted to learn to read, so I could know what the books say. Normaly girls don’t read, but me and my mother where different. We liked reading and drawing. And writing.,,

,,Me too! I love drawing! When we get home, we can draw together too. But I’m getting tired.,,

You looked up, and just saw where the moon was getting up, and the sun was setting. The clock was around nine. You where getting hungry and little Rin too. Lord Sesshomaru hadn’t said a word, and Jaken just was there. Then Lord Sesshomaru stopped and said: ,,We stop here. Jaken, get something to eat, and you, prepare it.,,

Jaken answered him: ,,Yes my Lord.,,

,,Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.,,

You were smiling again and you made a little fireplace as Jaken got back with something to eat. You loved cooking not so much though. But you liked making something for others. You cooked the meal and you ate. Lord Sesshomaru had been sitting on a rock for the most time, but once he left without saying a word. Then he came back and you didn’t want to be rude by asking where he went. You were in general a very polite girl. And you hated to see a nice place in total mess.

But you were looking forward to working at Lord Sesshomaru’s house. How where the staff there? Would you be happy? Would you be Rin a good babysitter? You sure hoped so. You looked over the quiet group, and then Rin started to talk, or more like annoy Jaken with her talk. You stayed silent and watched them talk about something. Rin was talking about how nice the flowers where and Jaken was talking about how foolish it was thought of her. When Rin saw that she couldn’t convince Jaken that flowers where pretty, she turned to you: ,,What do YOU think Yuri-chan? Do you think that flowers are pretty?,,

,,It doesn’t matter what this pathetic human thinks of that!,,

,,But I wanna know what Yuri-chan thinks!,,

,,Maybe she doesn’t want to answer your stupid question, foolish child! Now stop asking stupid questions, Lord Sesshomaru will get tired of them!,,

Rin turned to the demon sitting on the rock. He didn’t open his eyes, and Rin said: ,,I’m sorry, Sesshomaru-sama. I didn’t mean to disturb you.,,

He didn’t response. He just sat there. Rin stood up and sat next to you and whispered: ,,I’m tired Yuri-chan. Can we go to sleep?,,

You smiled and whispered: ,,Yeah, sure. Come on. We should let Jaken-sama know we are going to sleep.,,

Rin smiled and yawned.

So, there was nothing left for this day, then go to sleep and wake up the next morning.

________________________________________________________________________


It was dark. You couldn’t sleep. It just wasn’t real that you where sleeping in the middle of the forest with people you didn’t know, a youkai, and an imp, and of course a little human girl. It didn’t make any sense at all. You sighted and knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep. At least not yet. You had slept most of the day so you weren’t tired at all. But you knew you guy’s would walk the whole day tomorrow.

Suddenly you where anxious to stand up and go for a short walk. As you stood up you noticed that Sesshomaru was still on that rock.

% He must have a thing for them or something . . . they at least look alike when it comes to personality . . . %

You smirked by these thoughts but returned to your normal, sweet self. You looked around, trying to figure out which way to go. You looked to the east. You almost felt like someone was calling your, through a song. You could have sworn you heard a low song, a beautiful song, song about happiness, sorrow, rage, love. About life. A woman’s voice, and some kind of an instrument. You took one step to the low music when a voice said: ,,Go back to sleep.,,

Your heart almost stopped as you turned around and looked at Sesshomaru. You weren’t sure you heard him so you whispered: ,,I’m sorry, my Lord, what did you say?,,

He spoke again as calmly as before: ,,Go back to sleep I said. If you follow the music, you will be killed.,,

,,I’m sorry I have to ask my Lord, why would I get killed?,,

,,Because. The demon that is singing is luring you to it. Go back to sleep.,,

,,Yes, my Lord, I’m sorry.,,

You lay back down and tried not to listen to the music.

You lay on your back, trying hard not to listen to the music. It was still calling you. You saw a sudden movement where Sesshomaru was. You looked quickly in his way, just quick enough to see him disappear to the east.

% He’s probably going to slay that demon or something like that . . .%

Then just moments after that thought, you fell asleep, too tired to keep your self awake, but the last feeling you felt, was safety.


You where walking in a clearing, with millions and billions of flowers all around. They

were white roses, with small thorns. Then suddenly, fire blew up. Every where, except a small path, which you ran to. You felt eyes looking at you, red, evil eyes. Then the path ended and you where in another clearing, but the roses where deep red, with sharp thorns.

You walked to the middle of the clearing and took one up. The thorns stuck your fingertips, and they bled. Then, as the low whisper of the wind sang in the trees, and the flames threatened to get closer, you saw Ritsu. He came walking from the flames, and a cold smirk was as plastered on his lips, and he reached out his hand, as to grab you.

He got a hold of your arm. His hand pulled you to him, and you fell in his way. His eyes where staring at you manically and he said: ,,I need you Yuri. Come with me. We will live forever, in the next world . . .,,

You felt your heart say no. You wanted to protest, but it was like you where paralyzed. He walked slowly to the fire that was all around you. You felt the heat from the flames. Ritsu was in the middle of the fire. The flames licked his body, and his flesh burned. You saw his hair burn up and his hand that held your arm was the only thing left of the old Ritsu. His eyes where still there, staring at you, and his black skull, with the same cold smirk. Then he pulled you to the fire. The burning pain, as you felt the yellow, red and orange flames burn your skin to the bone. Your hair was on fire, and the heat was unbearable. A blood chilling scream escaped your lips, for a moment. Then the fire was out. Everything was black. Then your father came from the shadows and said: ,,Where the hell where you Sayuri? I wasn’t supposed to die, you worthless dotter! You can’t ever do anything right, now can you?! Just like your grandmother! You should have died, there is nothing or no one in this world that needs you, or cares for you now!,,

Then he disappeared. Then Keiko and Yuki came.

,,Where were you Yuri?! Where were you when we needed you?! We are dead because of it! You are the only one alive now! Just because you didn’t want to be at home with your poor father! We are almost certain about that you didn’t care about us, or your father. You should be ashamed of your self! We HATE you!,,

Then they disappeared as well. Tears streamed down your cheeks but no sound came from you. You closed your eyes, and when you opened them again, all of them were in front of you. Their burned hands locked them self’s around your arms and dragged your to the fire.

________________________________________________________________________

Your eyes quickly opened. Everything was dark, and the night air was refreshing. You where too warm and sweat was dripping from your forehead. Your breath was unstable, but there was no sound around you. You looked around and saw that everyone was still asleep. You lay back down and tried to calm your self down again. But tears still forced themselves from your eyes and ended either in your ears or the fell to your hair. You sobbed until you finally fell to a dreamless sleep.


Ok. This took a little longer time then I expected. But I always think it’s hard to start a story. But, I hope you liked it, and please rate and message me about how you liked it!

All criticism is well taken! ^____^


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