SOS: The Completely Unoriginal Rescue of No One Special. [1]

     Life makes no sense to me, sometimes.


Like now, watching my mother from my attic room window unload groceries from the family car. As usual, she tries to unload all one billion of them at once, single-handedly. And, as usual, she can't.


It's those little uninteresting snippets of life, like this one, that fascinate me.


Here is a single, reasonably attractive, smart, mildly funny, working mother. She had just about every reason in the world to feel needed and loved and cared for. But she always looks so...

defeated.


Especially after realizing that she cannot carry all one trillion of her grocery bags herself.


It breaks my heart.


Which it why I eventually haul myself away from the window and head outside to help my mother from where she is still standing, staring at her fallen groceries. Just like every Thursday...

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After everything is unloaded and we find the spare set of car keys (She's locked the regular set in the car, just like every Thursday...), we get to talking.


She asks her usual Thursday evening question-"Where is everyone?"-even though she knows perfectly well that Rhett is up the street with a group of normal kids who are teaching him to skateboard in exchange for tutoring. She knows that Hannah is at Sign Language Club from 3 to 4:30, then she goes to Shelby's house. She knows that Kayla is at Cheerleading practice from 2:30 to 5, then she goes to Jeff Her Boyfriend's house and they makeout for at least another hour. She knows that Ian is in another country fighting for a nation that doesn't know he exists. She knows that Joel is in California with his Flavor of the Month and she only speaks to him once a week when he calls to make sure we're alive and don't need money, as it states he must do in the court papers. And she knows that when she gets home with her plethora of groceries, I will be here to help her.


For some reason, Marlee never really got the hang of Thursdays. Maybe it's because Joel calls on Wednesday...

---------------xx------------------

Later that evening, I sit in my usual place at the dinner table and think my usual Thursday evening thoughts, in turn.


I think of how I feel so very sorry for Rhett. He's an 8 year old child prodigy with no real friends. And he's surrounded by a family that doesn't understand him but loves him anyway.


I think of how much I wish I were like Hannah. She's 14 and deaf, but still commands a room when she walks into it.


I think of how much I don't understand Kayla. She's a Senior, a Cheerleader, gorgeous, and smart. People actually want to be her. And yet, despite this, she still seems unhappy.


I think of how quiet the table seems without Ian's booming voice when he promises Rhett that he'll make a man out of him. And his bark-like laughter when Rhett turns white and stares at the floor. He was always my favorite. So strong and sure of himself, always seeming much older than 20.


I save Joel for last. My very own deadbeat dad. He's certainly the biggest mystery to me of all. After 19 years of marriage, he walks out on Marlee and us. That was 3 years ago. Nothing was ever the same after that.

----------------xx----------------

On a typical Thursday night, after I'm all snug in bed, I think about myself.


That never lasts long.


I'm just your average 16 year old girl with a head on backwards and a heart in her throat, witha near genius IQ and mounds of potential I don't use, and a soft spot for vintage anything.


But something feels different tonight.


I feel like a change is in order.


Is this really how the rest of my high school years are going to go? With a Thursday evening I could narrate if need be? And a mother who's given up on herself?


Instead of turning on my side and going to sleep, I close my eyes. Silently I send out a plea.


Someone, anyone! If you can hear me, help! This is not how I want to remember my life! SOS! SOS! SOS!


This is the part where I, Shonna Olivia Sargent, turn on my side.


And sleep.