Later that day, feeling tired for once in a very long time, Celia let her thoughts wander. They had spent hours going around every corner of the buildings and gardens. She couldn't even remember half of it, and probably only half of the teen's names. They had been so kind with her, making jokes, acting, making faces.
They went by the cafeteria and everyone gave their own advice on what she should or shouldn't eat. It ended up leaving Celia with very little choice to choose from, so she decided that she would try everything and trust her own opinion. They went by the physical therapy rooms, and had Nicolas and Stephan mocks the team's habits and voices, getting everyone to laugh, even the nurse (although she did try to hide it).
Myriam pushed her along the artistic hall as Kaelli and Luna named it: there you could find the music room, the photography room, the drawing room, the pottery room, the theatre and the video room, as well as the cooking room and a door leading to the greenhouse. Myriam, the nurse, took the opportunity to remind Celia that she had to pick an "artistic" class for her rehabilitation program, as the Soleil Bleu promoted such activities in their goal of multitasking knowledge. They wanted people to work on various things, see what they could do, and maybe find them an occupation for the future.
Celia had flinched a bit at the thought: she wasn't quite ready to participate in group activities yet, much less work on her "artistic skills". She had never had much of that type of talent anyway. She loved listening to music, but couldn't tell the difference between two notes and if she could draw the shape of a human thanks to all her biology classes, a 10 years old could probably do just as well.
The group had to divide itself to take the elevators, although the guys used it as an opportunity to make a race toward the ones on the other side of the building to see if they could beat the girls by any chance. They didn't, but they sure enjoyed the thrill of the race.
" Men!" Jade had whispered in a meaningful tone, making the other girls chuckle when the males were disappearing on a corner .
The rest of the visit involved a small tour in the park, even if they didn't stay long because it was still chilly outside. All knowingly, Nicolas explained that the park was bigger than they could see, and that if you woke up early you could see deer sometimes.
So for the first time that night, Celia shared a meal with someone else than her parents or Jonathan: she shared a meal surrounded by new friends. She didn't talk much during dinner, and her new comrades respected that. They asked her a few questions, but mainly they let her have space.
What she didn't see though was that Jade, Kaelli and Luna where having a private conversation and casting a glance towards her from time to time.
Myriam had rolled her back to her bedroom and helped her gently to clean up and get in bed.
She was quite thankful for it. The fresh air from her excursion and all the talking with teens her age had been great, and she had had a great time. And more than that, she knew she would be able to share her feelings with people who understood her. Her parents were trying hard. But neither them nor her friends from what she now considered her "previous life" could understand what she was going through.
She had to admit that Nicolas was the one who made her laugh the most. There was something quite attractive in him, and some sadness too, but it only showed when nobody seemed to be looking at him. She couldn't help but feel attracted to him in a way. She felt just like being with her cousin when they were 7 and kept hiding in trees throwing nuts at people on the street and trying to hide their giggles.
She had spent a lot of time with Jade too; although she felt a bit jealous because the girl could walk, even if she had to do so with crutches. The two other girls seemed to have a special bond and even if they were nice to her, Celia felt closer to Jade who seemed more open and willing so share things with her. But as she was about to turn off the lights she heard a knock on the door. Some girls voices where whispering on the other side of it.
She waited a second, thinking it might be for someone else, but the sound didn't go away so she shouted, "Come in!"
The door opened to the three girls dressed in their night clothes.
"What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise, "Isn't there a curfew or something here?"
"Technically," Kaelli answered with her warm voice, "but Myriam isn't too strict about it. Especially when it comes to entertaining new-comers."
"That's why we decided to have a pyjama party," Luna added. "After all, it's not like we get a new girl to gossip with every day," she said with a wink.
Celia wasn't sure if she liked what it implied Gossiping usually means you know a bit about each other, and she had been careful all through the day to avoid telling much about her. Letting other talk was easier than sharing your own story. But then, they had been so nice. And she did wanted to be a part of their group, and learn how they managed to be happy with their condition.
"Well, I'm afraid I don't have any refreshments or any cheesy movies to watch, but I think I still have a box of chocolates in the shelf up there." She pointed. Her parents gave it to her as she left the hospital, but she hadn't had the heart to eat any.
"Awesome. See, I knew this girl was great," Kaelli said, turning towards Luna.
"So, tell us everything. What grade are you in?
"Where do you come from?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"Errr" Celia wasn't sure who to answer first.
"Well, I have a boyfriend I guess."
"You guess? What do you mean?"
"Well, Jo and I are technically still dating, but Ever since the," her voice trailed off, the words hard to come. She took a deep breath, forcing the tears back in her eyes. "Ever since the accident things haven't been the same I tried to break up with him, because well, I didn't see how we could be together anymore. But he didn't want to, he wanted us to have a chance together. The thing is, he has to study and well, I just feel we're drawing apart. He doesn't call as much; he doesn't visit me very often. I'm not sure we really are in a relationship anymore," she trailed off, her voice barely a murmur and full of sadness.
"Aww, that's so sad."
"Maybe you should give him time to get used to this, you know" Jade offered. "Especially if you closed him out."
"Yeah," the other girls chorused.
"I know but things are so different. We used to go outdoors a lot, and now now I can't even move by myself." She bit her lip, holding her hands tights together."
"May I ask how come you don't know how to move the wheelie yet?" Kaelli asked gently. "
"I just don't want to be in a wheelchair. I want to be back on my legs, I want to be back to before." Celia's voice came out high pitched while tears trailed down her cheeks.
The three girls came closer to her and kindly touched her.
"Celia, Celia, it's ok. Don't worry. We understand."
"Yeah it all took us a while to learn, to even want to learn. But you know, we can help you if you want."
"Yeah. Because you know, even if it's your worst nightmare to have to be on a wheelchair, you also have to learn that now, it's your legs. It's your freedom."
"Yeah, especially if Nicolas finds out you have chocolate in your room, then you better know how to move it if you want to run after him and get it back." Kealli mad the girls laugh, and even Celia giggled through her tears.
Out of Celia's mouth came words she though she would never say:
"Would you teach me?"
"Of course," they all said together, hugging her as best as they could given that Celia was still on her bed and that two of them where on their 'wheelies'.
"Well, maybe not right now, because I think Myriam's patience has its limits, but you know we could organize a training session tomorrow. Would you mind if we include Nicolas in it? He is the best teacher when it comes to that. He knows tricks nobody would even dear to try."
Celia made a face. "I don't want the guys to make fun of me."
"If there is one thing they never make fun of it's that, don't worry. Now show me your arms," Kaelli ordered.
"My arms? What for?" she asked as she pushed her sleeves up.
Hum, you have pretty skinny arms."
"What's wrong with that?"
As an answer Kaelli and Luna rolled up their own sleeves.
"Gosh you look like you have the arms of body builder!" came out of Celia's lips. She blushed afraid she might have hurt her new friends. But they smiled instead.
"Well, our arms and our hands are our legs. We use them for everything. To get out of bed, in the wheelie, go on the toilets
" smack the guys when they ask like brats"
" steal ice cream.."
" and move around in general."
"You'll train them. Just rolling the wheels will build up muscles, and as things go you'll train them to carry your body around even more."
"We'll help you. And if you let them, the medical team will help you too."
Celia wanted to have a life again. She finally realized that she might be stuck on her chair forever. It was time she learnt, time to move forward. After all, if she wasn't able to move by herself, it more because she hadn't had the will... until now.
So the next day she participated in the exercises from her physical therapist. And on their break, she had the nurse bring her to the meeting point with the other teens.
Nicolas quickly took charge of the lesson. He first made sure Celia was sitting correctly, then, with a twinkle in his eye, he started explaining.
"Your wheels are like a girl, you have to caress them but handle them with strength at the same time."
"WTF? I'm not interested in girls! Not in that kind of way!"
"Good to know," he teased, "and sorry,
"Just kidding, it was a metaphor. But anyway What I mean is that you have to do a movement like you are caressing your wheels, but at the same time you have to pull it so you give it movement."
"But first we have a little present for you." And Jade stood up and took a little package out of her pocket. "Here try it on."
Celia ripped the package and found a pair of fingerless gloves. She looked at them surprised.
"This is to protect your hands. It's going to take a while for your hands to build up natural protection and you'll get blisters at first, but this," Nicolas pointed at the gloves, "will protect you from getting too much damage."
"Oh. Thank you so much."
"Oh don't thank us, we only had to ask one of the physical therapists to get them."
"Nonetheless, it means a lot to me."
The next thirty minutes where full of awkward moments, wrong movements and wheelchairs hitting each other as everybody wanted to participate in the lesson. There was a lot of laughter too, and it made Celia's slow progress easier. She felt like a new born snail compare to her comrades. But in the end, she could move by herself; and she wondered why she had been so stubborn and hadn't learned until now. Yes, she was slow and couldn't catch up with her friends. Yes she had an unbelievably hard time to turn, but she could move by herself. It wasn't like legs, she couldn't get into a run suddenly, and she couldn't even get to the speed of jogging yet. But it was a first step; a first step to learn how to handle her damaged body.
Rest in the results -->
Throughout the process Nicolas had noted how much frustration and anger was coming out of Celia, even though she tried to hide it. So he let the others go first when lunch was announced and rolled slowly by her side.
"You know you need to transform your anger and frustration to energy. And use that energy in a creative way. You could do some sports for example. I know it helps me a lot."
"Sports in a wheel chair? Are you kidding me? I can barely move myself. I don't even know how to get out of bed by myself."
"You'll learn that, we'll teach you, the staff with teach you. As far as sports, of course you can do some in a wheelchair. Have you never watched the Paralympics?"
"I guess, a few times" she said recalling some of the few images that were shown on TV. She always though those people were so brave. But she never imagined to be in their position either.
"Tell me," Nicolas said after she stayed silent for a while. "Did you do sports before your accident?"
Still lost in her thoughts, Celia answered dreamily, recalling memories of the forest and the snowy slopes.
"Yes. I used to be outdoors every weekends, whether it was with my family when I grew up, or with my boyfriend in the past year. We were always doing something. As a matter of fact this is the first year I didn't ski. If I had known I would have skied every day last year I'll miss the feeling of the snow under my skis," she said her voice trembling. "I miss the smell of the forest, and the sound the leaves make when you walk on them. But it's all over I better get used to it." She wiped the tears she hadn't felt coming from her cheeks.
Nicolas let her get herself back together. Then he stopped and put his hand on her and made her face him.
"You are wrong with something. Yes might never feel things under your feet again. But it doesn't mean you can't go in the forest, it doesn't mean you can't ski anymore. There is a lot of equipment nowadays that allows us to practice outdoor activities you know."
Celia looked at him, in her eyes you could read a mixture of hope and disbelief. It seems that Nicolas saw all that.
"Yes, I know you think you aren't ready for it yet. Which is right, you need to work hard to be able to do them. Just like a runner has to train for a marathon, you are going to have to train your body to deal with itself, you are going to have to learn how to master the wheelchair before you can be given a chance to do sports. But trust me you can do things. Actually, why don't you come with my mom and I to the Wheelchair basketball game next week. You can see for yourself. I'm sure you'll be surprised," he added with a smile.
For a second Celia wondered if he was asking her out on a date. It was followed by the thought that she must remind herself that things were different, and that after all she was technically still dating anyway well kind of. So she nodded.
"Ok, I'm quite curious to see that."
Her answer was rewarded by a beautiful smile from Nicolas. And they went together at a gentle speed to the lunch room.
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And if some of your could make me banners too, that would rock my world.
