I had the strangest dream Saturday night... it was disturbing me the next morning, making me want to tell Eric what had happened... since he was in it. I was wondering if this may ever happen in real life. I think it may... there's a large chance it could happen. Was this a vision? I highly doubt it, but maybe it was a sign of some sort...
I drank some water and put the cup away. I didn't even bother to eat any of the cereal I poured for myself, instead I just went into the living room and sat down on the couch, staring at the blank screen.
"You know," I heard a voice say from behind me, "You can turn the T.V. on." I looked back. It was Jill. I just shrugged.
"I like staring at the black," I said simply.
"Why not just go outside at nighttime? It's dark enough then," Jill said sitting down in one of the other couches with her bowl in hand. The other two came over as well with their cereal. James sat down next to me. He was smack next to me instead of on the other side of the couch. Eric and Jill stared with amusement.
"Do you mind?" I asked him, feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Not really," he said, moving closer. He took a spoonful of his food and ate it.
"Fine then," I said, smiling and leaning my head on his. The other two laughed.
"Fine, I'll move!" he said. He scooted to the other end of the couch. I just smiled and stood up and left the room again. I felt like I needed to clean. No matter how much I hate it, I really felt the need to... it was pretty stress reliving. For me, at least, it's one of the only ways I know how to do it.
I looked around the kitchen and found a spot needed of cleaning. I took a paper towel and wiped it down. There wasn't anything else that I could see. I went to the living room and look at the ground. The others just stared at me.
"We're on a sort of vacation, Rachel, you don't need to clean," Eric said, looking at me with a strict face. I just looked at him but I ignored his comment and continued to look around.
A few minutes later, we were reading to hit the beach again. This time, Eric and I had to go in. I was pretty excited, sort of, to actually go swimming in the water. I have never gone to the beach before, so I don't know what it's like. I know not to open my eyes in the water, I know that as a fact, but I still don't know the sensatation and those types of things.
When we got to the beach, it was extremely crowded. I wasn't expecting it to be this crowded, considering that it's Sunday. I'm guessing that most of these people go to church at night, or something, since they didn't seem to be doing any bible work here...
We set up our little "camp" site and I wasn't hesitant this time in taking my shirt off. I just did it like it was natural and I put on my sun tan lotion. I was wearing a pink bikini this time. I didn't like it particularly, but my black one was lost somewhere home, so I couldn't bring it. Eric watched me put the lotion on. When it came time to do my back, I had to ask someone else to do it.
"Hey, Jill, can you get my back?" I asked. She nodded, stood up, and took the lotion from me. But then, Eric took it away from her. She looked at him. I did too.
"Eric, give that back," she said sternly.
"Nah, that's OK. Go and do James. I'll do Rachel's," he said with a smirk. Jill just rolled her eyes and went over to her little brother. Eric stood behind me and I quickly looked forward. I was blushing, but I wasn't going to show him that. I should have known he would do this...
"You're extremely tense, did you know that?" he asked me. He started to rub the lotion onto my shoulders. It felt good. He went down the back of my neck and to my middle back. I got a lot of weird sensations up and down my body, and it made me feel extremely cold, no matter how hot it really was. It was 95 degrees outside. "There, I'm done."
He didn't make one slick move. He just did it like normal. I nodded and walked out to the water with the others following. I stepped in and saw Eric and Jill going under the water. James and I looked at each other. James was also new at learning how to swim. Eric had taught him as well.
I ducked under the water, and it was so soothing. I pulled my head up and walked out deeper, where the waves were hitting. The cold water felt good against my skin, even if it was freezing. The sand beneath my feet was soft and sort of had a feel of warmth. I stepped a few steps to the side, just so I could move, when I stepped on something hard and it moved. I screamed in surprise and jumped backwards.
James, Jill, and Eric all looked at me. "What's up?" Eric asked.
"I stepped on something and it moved!" I said, staring down at that spot above the water.
They all just laughed. "It was probably a crab or something. It won't hurt you, unless you step on it again," James said.
"Whatever," I said, dodging that spot again and quickly swimming over to where they were.
"Hey, Eric! How strong are your legs this year?" Jill suddenly asked.
"They're stronger than last time, why?" he asked.
"Well, I want to go out farther, but you know that I can't exactly steady myself up," she said. He nodded. This must have happened a lot or something.
"Hey, Rachel, come on, you get on my back first," Eric said.
"Why me?" I asked, not moving.
"Because you're the biggest out of us three," James said.
I just sighed and I moved over to Eric and I held onto his shoulders. I felt someone else put their hands onto my shoulders and applying a little bit of pressure. It was Jill. James did the same to Jill. I wasn't able to touch the ground. Damn, how strong can Eric's legs be with swimming? He won't last very long, not with all this pressure...
Or at least that's what I thought. We got to the point where even he couldn't stand, and he was staying above the water fairly well. He looked like it didn't affect him, but you never know.
"You having trouble with this?" I asked him, sort of concerned.
"Not really," he said. "In the water, you all are pretty light."
"Isn't this tiring though?" I asked, sort of suprised.
"Sort of, just a little bit," he said. "You want to know why we like coming out here so often?"
"Why?"
"Because, dolphins come over here. It's really an amazing sight, you'll love it," he said with a smile.
"Maybe we should have brought boogy boards over," I said.
"That would have been a good idea," he said. "Can you see what time it is?" He held his wrist up for me quickly and I quickly read it.
"10:40," I said.
"Ok. We can go back and buy boards. They usually come out around 11. We'll be back by then," he said. He told that to the others and we swam back. I continued to hold onto Eric's shoulders, since I didn't have very much strength yet to go against the pressure.
"Thanks Eric for the board!" James, Jill, and I all said at the same time to Eric. He just smiled and shook his head.
"No problem," he said. We got back into the water quickly and swam out with the boards. This was a relief. We got back to the spot. "OK, only a few more minutes until they come out."
We all waited in anticipation. I looked to my right and left and saw a few other people, around my age and older, out there with their boogy boards as well. I think they were waiting for the dolphins as well. I guess that's why the life guard hasn't yelled at us yet. Then someone caught a sighting and screamed it out. We all looked and I grinned.
It was beautiful. The sunlight shined on the dolphins jumping in and out of the water. The water sparkled like crystals when they landed in the water. My eyes started to water, for no apparent reason. It was emotional, just to see them like this. Jill and James stared with wide eyes and big smiles. Eric stared with intention and a smile on his face as well. I slid down onto my stomach and rested my head next to his. He looked down at me.
"Thanks for showing me this," I said with a smile. He smiled back.
"No problem."
OMG! Eric's so sweet... *sigh*
"Good job James with the food!" Jill said, congratulating him.
James looked extremely satisfied and he was loving the compliments he was getting on dinner. "Thank you!"
We all smiled at him. "Much better than Eric's," I said.
"Shut up!" Eric said, poking my arm. He wasn't going to slap me. Guess he was raised to never hit a girl...
Typical. I stared at the food and we all ate it happily. The sun started to set. It was almost setting, but not quite yet. Once dinner was finished, everyone started to watch television, just to relax. I said I was going to go outside.
I went into my bedroom and changed out of my shorts and t-shirt and put on a light pink skirt. The right side of my skirt stopped at my knee, just above. The left side stopped an inch or so below my knee. I wore a white tank-top and I put on some flip-flops and I went outside. I kept my hair down. I walked onto the beach and I stared into the ocean. I just stood there. I let the wind go as it wanted to go, I let what was left of the sun shoot down on my head and giving me the slightest bit of warmth. I let the sand seep through my sandals to my feet, before taking them off and letting my feet sink into the warmth. And I let my eyes wander, viewing the beautiful ocean and enjoying the quietness of the area. The sun was a mix of yellows, oranges, blues, reds, and purples making it a breathtaking sunset.
There has never been anything like this in Virginia. It was always cars, large buildings, the city life for me. I never got to see things like this. But now, I do...
You know, out of all the families, I like this one the best. The reason why is simple: "They treat me like family." My other families... they weren't nearly this nice. Some where even abusive.
Johnson's: This was a family of 10 people. A mother, a father, a grandmother, and 7 other kids, all teenagers. They were all very messy and not well-mannered. It was a large house. I was forced to clean each and every single room in the house within a day. Within the time before they come back from work or school. It wasn't easy. They were not abusive, but they did not let me eat with them. I would eat later that night, by myself, and in the kitchen.
Carter's: This was a family of only 2 people. The wife and the husband, but they were very strict. They had a lot of pets, including: 2 parrots, 5 cats, 7 dogs, 3 rats, 4 mice, 2 ferrets, 13 fish, 1 skunk, 8 canaries, and 10 different snakes and spiders. So, I had to take care of those animals as well, and they made a large mess, so it was pretty hard.
Matter's: This is the family that was abusive... and I hated them the most. There were 3 members of this family. A mother, a father, and a young 6-year-old girl. The parents were so strict, that when I did one simple thing wrong, they would smack me and they had the right to do so. I was 15 when I worked for them. It hadn't lasted long, since I seemed to have messed up too many times so they gave me up... I got smacked, kicked, punched, and even once, I was almost shot at by the father since I had accidentally dropped a plate. That had just taken the cake and they were pretty pissed, so they almost shot me, but I dodged it quick enough and they sold me to another family.
So, I have been through a lot, met a lot of bad people, but this family... I really hope they never give me away...
When I say that, I make it sound like I'm an item... well, to a lot of people, that's exactly what I am. And there's only one way that I can actually become known as a human, not an item. The family I work for now, has to let me go. Let me go and be free on my own. No family has done that yet... I hope, that that day, will come soon...
I took a deep breath and I sat down in the warm sand. It shifted underneath me, giving me a comfortable position. I pulled my knees up to my chest and I rested my chin on my knees and stared forward.
"Hey, Mommy, Daddy? Do you guys think life will ever change?" I asked, in a the quiet sweet voice I had when I was only 6.
"Honey, life always changes, right before your eyes. Things will always be changing," my dad said.
"Yes, your body will be changing, your mind will be changing, you'll start to become a young woman, mature and strong," my mom said.
"That's not what I mean," I said, looking down at the ground, sort of frowning. They looked at me concerned. It was time for "the talk".
"Rachel, we know life is hard because of our situation. It will, hopefully, change," my mom said.
"But, why can't people accept black people?" I asked. I was extremely mature for my age, and I wasn't stupid.
"People are stupid sometimes. They can't accept other people," my dad said.
"Is everyone like this?" I asked, with some hope in my voice.
"No. Not everyone is like this, dear. You'll find a family... that will accept you, for who you are and not what color you are on the outside. I'm sure of it."
I took another deep breath, trying to keep the tears from coming. Remembering my parents often made me cry. I don't think it was because of their death, that's not why I cry. I think I cry because I need them... I miss them. To me, it just feels like they moved somewhere, where I can never go.
I felt a presence next to me, but I didn't budge. I didn't even look at who it was... but when they spoke, I was slightly startled.
"You know, it's pretty scary for a girl like yourself to be staying out in the dark alone," I heard them say. It was Eric. He sat down next to me and stared in the same direction I was staring at. I was wondering why he was here. Since no one spoke for a few minutes, I asked him why.
"Why are you out here?" I asked.
"Because. I was worried about you," he said, finally looking at me.
"Why would you be worried about me?" I asked, with a sort of smile. I basically said in a tone of voice that it was stupid of him.
"Why? Because!" he paused for a moment. I guess, maybe, he was thinking of what to say... or maybe he was having trouble saying it. "Because... well, you're basically family."
I was shocked. I even let me body make the motion of being shocked. My eyes were wide, my mouth was slightly open, and I was lost for word. I have never heard that... not in a very long time at least. The only people that have actually said it was... my parents.
"I'm family?" I asked.
"Yeah, of course you are. I mean, we took you in, we feed you... sure, you have a job to take on, but you're still living in the house," he said.
For some reason, that didn't make me feel better... it made me feel like an outsider. I turned away.
"Are you OK?" he asked.
I shook my head and I looked down. "I'm not Ok, and I never have been..."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.
"I don't know," I said shaking my head again. Tears were coming. I couldn't stop them. "Did you know, you guys are the first family to never abuse me in some way?" I didn't know why I was saying this. Like my tears, I couldn't stop talking either... "And I feel so grateful... but, I don't know, it's just... I would rather have a different life then this..."
"What life do you want?" Eric asked. His voice was soft and sweet.
"I want a life where I can be normal. Where I'm not being enslaved to anyone... where I can live my own life, do the things I want to do, cook for myself and only myself..."
"And why can't you have that life?"
"Because, of my stupid deed! I have this deed, it's just a stupid paper, but it enslaves me to a fucking family and I can't get out of it!"
"There's no way?"
"There's one way, but the chances of that happening are so fuckin rare, I gave up ever believing it could happen."
"Why did you get this job in the first place?"
"Because! I'm half-black! Apparently, when I was younger, being half-black was even bad! My parents were killed because my mother was white and she married a black man! Then, they did the worst sin ever, according to them at least. They gave birth to a child! And from then on, they thought, 'Oh, we need to make that child have a living nightmare!' and they did a damn good job of doing so!"
Eric didn't know what to say. I feel so fucking bad now! I took her for granted... I never knew she was FORCED into the job! I mean, I knew that it had to be something like that, but I didn't know it was because of her skin color! Shit, life is so fucking unfair! Why the hell are people like this? Then again... I was like that too...
I felt arms go around me and I felt safe for a moment. Comfort... "I won't ever treat you like that again, I promise."
Wow... what's going to happen now?! RESULTS!
You know when your life is complete, when you've found everything you've ever wanted. My life isn't fully completed, but it's getting close... That night, was so nice... I have to thank Eric, but I don't know how I could. I think he may understand a bit more about what I have to go through.
But, then again, he may not. He could still be un-understanding of it, and for all I know, maybe he hasn't learned a thing... but, for some reason, I don't want to believe that. I want to believe that he's become a better person, because... well, I feel... different around him now.
For instance, when he walked me back to the house, he was trying to make me laugh again. It worked. I felt safe, I felt warm, and every once in a while... I got a strange sensation up and down my back when he spoke, or when he laughed.
Maybe... he's changing after all.
PLEASE RATE AND MESSAGE AND PICK! thanks. lol. Anyway! I hope you guys like this one! I'll see you laters, bye!!!
