~No One Would Listen~ (POTO) - Part Eigth

*You know there must be an evil twin and a good twin. I do not know how or when but somehow I took the role of the evil twin. It is not because I was bad; it is just because she was better. They looked at her as if she was a miss perfect. She reflected a shadow over me that made them think I was dark. Therefore, when they started thinking of me as the evil twin I started believing I was the one, and started acting up to that image. I felt I had to. In one word, I played the role the world had given me. It started when I was very young. I was not doing what I was told; I was not obeying my parents. However, she was. It all made her shine more, and me dark more. We were in a kind of a magic circle.
I tried to hate her, believe me I did. Nevertheless, even I could not. She was always so good with everyone. Always polite, kind and sincere.
We shared a passion for music. Although I can say I loved it more then she did.
As a child, I had a huge collection of music boxes. It was a cause of quite a few fights between my siblings and me. However, it was always them (my brother sister and mother) against me. Back then, I felt like all the world was against me. Moreover, I declared a war at it. I stopped talking for a few months. They were worried of course but not as worried as they would be if it were Karla on my place. Later I just could not talk. From keeping quiet for a long time. The doctors said I would be all right but that I would never sing. Nevertheless, I did. It was like a miracle. No one could explain it. Then we were sent to that horrible school. I hoped that for the first time in my life I would have friends. How wrong I was. By that time my voice had already became 'emotionless'. "Demon' they called me. In the beginning, it did not affect me – I was happy I could sing again. Then I myself felt there was something wrong with my voice. Their words started hurting me.
That is when I created her. 'The Black Pearl'. She was a mask I used to hide from them, to scare them with. She protected me of them. I was hidden deep inside.
I was officially declared 'evil twin', 'demon', "Black pearl'. And I was happy with that. Ever since I remembered, I felt like it was my job to be the bad one, so Karla can be the good one. I learned to live with it. It became part of me. I was only sorry how it affected my voice. Oh, I knew, I could hear it. However, I pushed it away. I know I sing beautifully. No matter how 'demonic' some people might have found it. I was happy.
Yes, I was happy I was evil. For I was. I had caused girls in the school to cry, I had made my sister feel guilty for what happened with me. I made my brother feel guilty for those two months when I did not talk. I made my mother feel guilty she ever had me.
No, I was not cruel. It was revenge. Called for too. They deserved it. They had hurt me, they had changed me, they had shunned me, they hated me, they feared me.
No I don't hate them.
 I do not hate my sister – I just can't. She tried to be a good sister to me; I was the one who pushed her away.
I do not hate my brother. He was just a silly boy back then, and later when he became a man, he was too ashamed to even talk with me about anything like this. I knew he was sorry. I had forgiven him.
May be I really hated my mother. I cannot say. I think deep inside I am unable to hate. It's anger that I feel. Why would she do all those things that had hurt me so greatly? All I wanted was to make her proud with me. I never did.
I escaped from this all. I hid deep underneath my masks. At some points, I was having fun too. However, sometimes it hurt really much. All I wanted was to scream I am not like that, I am sorry for everything. I could not. I was safe.
The first time I left this palace of mine was yesterday.
Yesterday I opened myself for the first time in years.
Today I am explaining this, only because I want to free myself from it. You are the only person I know I can tell these things, even thought I do not know you from a long time, I know you would not tell anyone. Because we have one thing in common. We both hide behind masks. We both want to stay behind them. We feel save this way.
Remember this Klara de Chagny, Erik. I doubt you will ever see her again.*