Headfirst For Halos((Gerard Way))09

You awoke at 9:00 alone. You once again rolled out of bed. You picked up your cell phone and decided to call Lana. You thought that she would understand the situation at hand. You needed to vent about what really happened last night.

"Good evening my one and only love" you said in an English accent.

"Hey! I was meaning to give you a call earlier, oh wait, I did, 5 calls to be exact. Im glad you finally have time for your best friend" she said as she pretended to sob.

"That is precisely why I am calling you darling."

"Geez! That took you long enough" this is one of the many things you loved about your best friend, her sarcasm.

"Well fine then, Ill let you get back to whatever or whoever you are doing at the moment."

"I told you I stopped being a whore when Mikey and I started dating" you both finally let out the laughter that had been building up inside. "So whats up?"

"I wanted to tell you about last night, like the truth. And please dont say anything to Gerard, I told him the bare minimum and I am giving you more details."

With that you journeyed back in your mind to the previous night, only 24 hours ago. You told Lana every excruciating detail, down to what the voice sounded like in your head. Now the drug lord, thats now what I am calling Dr. Prior, wants me to get evaluated again by him. "So tomorrow Ill let you know if anything new comes up."

"Is there anything else you can do? Besides giving you more medication?" Lana questioned. It was the same question that had plagued your mind earlier.

"Im guessing it would be going inpatient at the hospital" you replied solemnly.

"Ill be thinking about you tomorrow morning and crossing my fingers for the best."

"Thanks Lana" you said.

"Anytime, because I know you would do the same thing for me." Then you hung up the phone and proceeded downstairs.

You plopped on the couch next to your dad and cuddled against him. He was enthralled in another World War II documentary on the History channel. You were also interested in history, it was by far you best and easiest subject. You drifted off to sleep again while watching the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor.

"Leigh. Leigh" you heard your mothers voice as she lightly shook you. "We need to get ready to see Dr. Prior, you have 30 minutes to get ready." She left you in your room to get dressed and washed up. You picked out a fitted black t-shirt and your baggy, ripped jeans. You really didnt care what you liked to, you werent in the mood to care. You washed your face and brushed your teeth, you decided against wearing make-up because you knew there was a good chance you would cry it off.

When you arrived at the dreaded doctors office, you clutched your moms hand and intertwined your fingers. You needed her help to be strong. She was once like you, depressed with no where to run. Except back then any type of psychological treatment was frowned upon. When you sat down on the bench, between your mom and dad, you mom whispered "we'll get through this kid, I promise."

5 minutes went by, and then another 15. Finally Dr. Prior came to the waiting room and ushered you into his office. All three of you sat down; your parents on the couch and you sat on the loveseat.

"Lets take this moment to try something new, we are going to regulate our breathing and relax" Dr. Prior said. You looked at him like he was the crazy one.

Breathing. Inhale for 5 counts in, and exhale for 5 out. Then pause for 2 counts That is what the breathing exercise tape sounded like. Because you were still feeling the aftereffects from Saturday night, you almost fell asleep.

"Alright, lets discuss our course of action with Leighs treatment."

"What is there to discuss, you are the doctor. And we are supposed to listen to you" you spat at Dr. Prior.

"There is no need for hostility Miss Miller" you chuckled and then caught an evil glare from your mother.

"I would like to continue Leigh..." you cut him off.

"I am right here and Im not invisible. There is no reason why you cant talk directly to me when Im the only one here who this directly effects" it felt good to finally release this build up at him. You always wanted to be polite, but now you realized he wasnt worth the effort. You were convinced he was screwing things up in your head.

"I would like to continue you on the same dosage of medications. I think that I should remain prudent and not add more to your dosages" you rolled your eyes. Prudent? Is this guy kidding you thought."I think that we need to ride this out" he concluded.

"Are you sure?" your mom questioned.

"Mrs. Miller, I think that she has reached the climax of her problems, everything should level back out now" he replied. Your dad just sat quietly playing with his beard.

"Great, thanks for everything; Im going to school now. Dont call me Ill call you" you stormed out of the office not please with one word he had said. This guy is nuts if he thinks this is the best we can do right now. I wonder where he got his medical degree? you thought. You walked several blocks before finally ending up in front of your school. The large and ugly cement colored square building; you thought it was too bland considering it was an English magnet. You looked down at your cell phone and saw that it was 10 minutes until lunch; instead of catching the last 10 minutes of Advanced English, you decided to sit under the oak tree and unwind. Just as you made yourself comfortable you notice 2 figures walking towards you in the distance. You finally made it out at Frank and Bob, you completely forgot that they had study hall this period.

"Hello boys" you said with as much enthusiasm as you could muster.

"Its my favorite tackling post!" Frank yelled as he ran towards you, leaving Bob at least 10 feet behind.

"I am not in the mood today. If you tackle me you are going to die. Got it?"

"Yes ma'am" he proceeded to salute you and then sit down in front of you. Bob finally joined you both, sitting to Franks left. You asked them about the movies on Saturday night and how the rest of the evening went. You didnt think that Gerard or Lana would really talk to anyone else about what happened. They knew that you only really trusted them with heavy stuff like your emotional state.

"I think I love Erica" Frank said while staring into space.

"Aw. Really? Have you told her yet?"

"No. Should I? What if she doesnt feel the same way? Maybe I should wait until our 1 month anniversary, if we even last that long."

"You will last that long, probably longer" Bob chimed in.

"Go for it. Have you seen the way she looks at you?" you asked him.

"I love her eyes, their so green" Frank was smirking. Then Mikey came flying on top if him and took his sandwich. "Hey!"

"The first thing I learned at school this year was sharing is caring. I believe you taught me that too" Mikey laughed and sat to Franks right, followed by Lana, Gerard and Ray.

"Leigh, I need to smoke, care to join me?" Gerard asked.

"Sure" you got up and walked hand in hand to behind the dumpsters. Sure, it smelled horrible but, it was the only place where you could light up on campus without getting caught.

"So, how was the doctor?"

"Fine. That guy is such an asshole. I really want to go see someone new, maybe they have better ideas that Dr. Pill pusher does. I like that, Dr. Pill pusher" you laughed to yourself. As you did this you noticed Gerard begin to space out staring at the ember on his cigarette. You lightly shook him.

"Are you ok?" you asked him.

"I dont really care about myself right now. I want to make sure that you are fine, and that you wont cut yourself. Or do something even more stupid."

"Look, Im going to be fine, ok? I just need more time to work on it" you were growing angry.

"How do you have patience for this any more?"

"Enough with the fucking third degree!" You felt tears well in the corners of your eyes. You sprinted for the oak tree and grabbed your backpack and books and then went home. You knew that neither of your parents were going to be home because they were at work.

When you got home you ran right to the kitchen. You grabbed every bottle of depression and anxiety medication you owned and you ran to your room. I am going to end this once and for all you thought. You threw down all of the orange plastic bottles in the sink and grabbed a pen and notebook from your room. You decided to write your goodbyes.

To Everyone,
I cant live like this anymore. Being drugged by a doctor who doesnt know how to treat me any better, and I cant do this to all of you either. There arent many people that I love, and I dont have many friends either; but I appreciate all of you who are reading this. Gerard, you were right, I dont have patience for this anymore. I love you. You are the love of my life and I am glad we could be together, although it was only for a short time. Mom and Dad, thanks for all of you help. I love you too. I am now going to be selfish and spare myself from living with the weight of the world on my shoulders. Thanks for everything, it was a wild ride.
Yours Always,
Leigh Miller

You took all of the medication out of the sink and examined all of the pills. You had the rainbow right in front of you. Slowly raising a cocktail of at least 30 pills to your mouth, you looked at yourself in the mirror for the last time. With that you placed them on your tongue and chugged a glass of water. "Cheers" you said to yourself before gently placing your body to its final resting place in the bathtub.

Your Dads Point Of View

You couldnt work today, hell you could barely concentrate. You hated having to see your daughter in pain.

When you walked into the entry way of your house, you noticed Leighs book bag at the base of the stairs. She shouldnt be home for at least an hour. you thought. You peered around the uninhabited first floor and decided to make your way upstairs. Maybe she is in her room.

As you approached her room you didnt hear anything. I know that Leigh usually snores extremely loud.

You didnt see her in her bedroom, so the last place to check was the bathroom. Your eyes grew with terror. You were looking at your daughters lip and lifeless body in her bathtub. Then you spotted at least 10 orange plastic medicine bottles in her sink. "Leigh! How could you do this?" you asked the air. You hoped she would respond but she didnt. "Shit. Ive got to get her stomach pumped. There may be time left" you said frantically to yourself.

You walked into the bedroom and pulled her phone off of the charging cradle.

"911, what is the emergency?"
She's the only one who knows
what it is to burn

Thanks for rating and messaging. Part 10 will be up tomorrow.

xoxo Alexz