There's A Light On In Chicago ( .003 )

It was only 6:00 but I decided to head into the bus and lay down. The noise and excitement was kind of giving me a headache. As soon as I entered the bus though I heard my cell phone ring. I stared at the number that was coming in; it belonged to my ex-boyfriend, Danny. Why on earth was he calling me? It's not like we had a murderous break-up. We just didn't talk much. I answered. "Hello?"

There were several moments of silence but I knew he was there; I could hear a faint breathing coming from the other end. "Danny?"

"H-Hi, Lacie."

"What's up?"

I heard him sigh deeply and what seemed to be painfully. Then I heard him sniff and I knew something was wrong. "Danny, are you okay?"

"I love you, Lacie."

I switched the phone to my other ear, thinking I hadn't heard him right. I quickly moved behind a bus and stood there, away from the noise of the bands welcoming one another. I just listened, not sure what to think.

"I love you, Lacie," he repeated. "Just remember that."

"Remember? What are you talking about?" I asked, bewildered.

"I love you..." he whispered. There was a long moment of silence and then there was a distorted click, signaling that Danny had ended our conversation. I kept the phone to my ear, somehow hoping he'd come back. Something was really wrong. Why would he do that? I looked to my right and saw Justin watching me. I hadn't noticed there was a look of pain on my face and my shoulders were hunched in a protective way. But Justin did.

He came towards me. "What's wrong?"

I looked through his glasses which were usually invisible to me anyway and into his eyes. "S-something's not right."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you remember...my boyfriend...well, ex now...Danny?"

He nodded. "What about him?"

"I need to go see him."

Justin looked at his watch. "Lacie we're leaving in half an hour."

I looked around. "He doesn't live that far from here. Please take me, Justin."

He nodded. "Okay, I'll take you. You just can't stay long alright?"

I agreed and we both got back in Justin's car and I directed him to Danny's house. It was getting dark and Justin waited in the car while I went to see Danny. I knocked on the door. Waiting. Waiting. No answer. I knocked again, a bit harder. Waiting. No answer.

I decided to let myself in, feeling a little frustrated. He has a telephone conversation like that with me and expects me to not come over and make sure he's okay? His house was dark. As a matter of fact, I couldn't find a light that was on. So I turned a couple on myself. I looked down the hall though and noticed that one actually was on. Bathroom light. I felt a little scared, then saw a piece of paper taped to the door. I stared at it for a second, using the light that illuminated from underneath the door to read it.

Beautiful Lacie Lynn,

I know you'll be the first person to read this. I know this because you were always the first one to come to my rescue when I was in trouble. You were there for me, Lace. Even after the eight months that we dated. Even after the point where we decided to be "just friends."

Maybe you should hate me for this. It's just another emo lyric out of context, I know, but it sums this all up. But I'm begging you, Lacie, don't go in the bathroom. I'm not sure how bad it'll be. Do what you wish with this letter but call the police please and remember me from when we were happy together. Back when we were in love. Don't cry about this. Play the song we first danced to at my funeral. You know which one. Don't open the door. PLEASE.

Remember the night we first kissed?

Remember when we first made love?

Remember when I called you at 2:00 in the morning because I kept getting nightmares?

Those are the things I'll never ever forget. I hope you won't either. I know I wasn't the happiest person, Lacie. I was never going to be or become a happy person. The world is better off with one less permanently depressed person. Don't forget me, Lacie. I dont know where I'm going...

This just for once feels right.

Lacie, I love you. And I'm sorry.

Danny

I lost my ability to blink, move, think, and breathe. I had no idea what to do. I shoved the note in the pocket of my sweatshirt, knowing it'd be useful for the cops and necessary for me to keep. I felt numb to everything that happened after that. The air that swam through the hall didn't phase me. My temptation to open the bathroom door didn't win over my will. This was hard enough.

I stumbled out of the hallway and back outside, standing outside Danny's front door. Danny...gone. He just...left. Unbelievable. Tears escaped my eyes effortlessly; I wasn't going to try and hold them back. Why on earth did this happen? I wish he would have explained it better. A nice long three-page suicide note would have suited.

Justin hadn't noticed me until I opened the car door and sat down, burying my face in my hands. Justin immediately tried to take my hand in his, in some odd kind of comfort. "Lacie, what happened?" I just pulled my knees up to my neck and rested my chin on them, still desperate to not let Justin see my tear-stained face, even though I know he has many, many times before. "Lace, talk to me."

I sniffed and wiped away tears from under my eyes, knowing mascara and eyeliner were now everywhere. My ex-boyfriend just committed suicide. My running makeup was the last thing on my mind. I looked at Justin. "He killed himself."

There was a silence. Obviously Justin didn't know what to say. I wouldn't either.

"I-I needa call the cops when we get back."

"You should call now."

"No." I wanted to get as far as humanly possible away from this house as I could. Lucky for me we would be heading out of town in the next half hour. After thought though, I wondered if that was a good thing or not.

"Why?"

"Just drive, Justin."

"You wanna go back now?"

"Yes. I want to get away from here. Drive." I was beginning to feel my blood boil.

He started up the car but his hands didn't touch the steering wheel. "Are you sure? You don't have to come with us-"

"JUST DRIVE!" I yelled at him, using a strange tone I'd never heard myself use with someone before. I slightly regretted it, seeing the somewhat shocked expression on my best friend's face. He slowly pressed his foot on the pedal and began to drive away from the scene, not looking at me again the whole drive back. I continued to cry.
Featured in this part:
Justin
-->
thanks for reading =] message me.