Brendon couldn't see me off at the airport. His parents had to work, and that left him to watch Sonja.
Peter tried his best to comfort me, but that really never was one of his strong points. It was only for a few minutes, anyway, because then Pete had to go run off to catch his own flight to LA.
I boarded my flight, and found my seat. I wasn't going to cry, because I didn't really have anything to cry over. Brendon was just a kid in a band my brother liked. Nothing more, nothing less.
Little did I know, in a few months, Panic! At the Disco would be the band every kid in the scene would come to love to hate.
I grinned, walking up to receive my diploma.
Spring 2005. The beginning of the next phase of my life.
A party awaits me at home. Let's just get this over with now.
When I got my diploma, I walked back to my seat, and kind of just spaced out. I was now "free," in a sense. No longer bound by the necessity of high school. But now blankly staring my future in the face.
That's enough to freak any kid out.
Peter promised to be here today, but I'm not going to hold him to it. Promises are made to be broken, and my brother's no superhero. I miss the days when I could believe he was. But time has passed, and I've come to realize that fairy tale endings are just that. They're only to be found in illustrated story books.
Looking back on the year, I take note on a few importances.
My graduation.
My coming of age.
Not making it into the college I wanted.
Brendon breaking up with me.
And I stop there. Everything else seems so trivial. He said he was a grade away from flunking out of his senior year because he was so into the band. And then there was the band itself, which took up all his time, free or not.
He said inbetween all that, he didn't have time to give me the attention I needed. I deserved somebody better.
I didn't believe him, and I still don't.
I couldn't go to my parents. They didn't even know I was dating Brendon.
I couldn't even go to my big brother. It was a touchy area for him. His little sister or his protege? Well, it should have been obvious... But, never underestimate Pete Wentz's power to disappoint.
Arriving at my house, I immediately saw that something was wrong.
There was a car in the driveway. Nobody should be here yet. Everybody was at my graduation.
I opted to stay calm. I'd figure it out sooner or later.
Mom and dad seemed jittery. I rolled my eyes. It was a party. It really would have been okay if it turned out differently than they planned.
I opened the front door, and stepped in. So far, so good.
No evidence of anybody here. Maybe mom and dad got me a car as a graduation present? Oh, yes. That has to be it. That would be why they were so nervous when we got out of the car...
I went upstairs to go change, because people were going to start arriving any second now, and I was not going to take any more pictures. Mom and dad could get those later if they really wanted them.
I opened my bedroom door, immediately pulling the gown over my head. I turned to throw it on the bed, but I almost screamed when I saw Pete sitting there.
"Congrats, Emmy!" Peter said, standing up to throw his arms around me.
"Peter!" I actually screamed this time, "You made it!"
He grinned, letting go of me, "Of course! I wouldn't miss this for the world!"
I almost cried at that. I really do have the best big brother in the world. I told him.
"Awww, Em, come here..." And he wrapped his arms around me in a more comforting hug. It's safe to say that I clung to him.
After countless disappointments, Peter finally lived up to be the brother I always envisioned him as.
Until he decided to ruin our moment.
"Guess who's here?" he asked.
"Ummm, hopefully not Aunt Bonnie?"
Pete grimmaced, "Regretfully, she is. But, no. Guess again."
"Ummm, William Beckett?" I asked. I really hope he is.
"No... But you're getting closer..."
I groaned, "Who, Peter?"
His grin grew, if possible, even wider as he said, "The one and only Brendon Urie."
My insides twisted into knots.
My initial reaction was excitement. Until I realized that this is my day. This is my day, and Brendon Urie isn't even supposed to be within an (at least) 800 mile radius of this town.
Peter noticed my less-than-thrilled reaction, and immediately asked, "What's wrong?"
I could have yelled at him. I felt that I should have yelled at him. But I didn't. I told myself I wouldn't, because it wasn't his fault he didn't know. I never told him Brendon broke up with me, and I guess Brendon never told him, either.
I told Pete the story. What happened. With complete veracity.
At the end of the story, he was holding me while I was sobbing.
It was at that moment that I realized I wasn't over Brendon, and I probably never would be.
"Should I send him back?" Peter asked quietly.
I laughed at the ludicrous idea. "Of course not. He's here, he might as well stay for awhile..."
Peter looked at me cautiously, and I sent him a smile. Things didn't seem like it now, but I knew everything was going to turn out okay. Even if arguing, yelling, and thrown objects happened first.
"Come on, let's go see Brendon," Peter suggested.
I told Pete to go downstairs, and that I'd be down in a minute, once I cleaned up a bit and changed.
Nothing could prepare me for this meeting.
My past was not supposed to unexpectedly show up on the first day of the new phase of my life.
But when I got downstairs, and saw Brendon talking to my parents, I realized that this should have happened long ago.
Like the scene of a first date, my father was scrutinizing Brendon, and my mom was gushing over him. Pete was nowhere to be found.
I started to walk into the room, but tripped and fell flat on my face. Of course that would happen. And of course everybody would turn to stare at me.
When I got up, the first thing I saw where those "chocolate brown eyes" I once described a year ago.
"Hi, Emily," Brendon said.
"Hey..." I reciprocated, timidly.
I smiled slowly as I realized this is the new phase of my life.
Another shot at young love.
You'll never be alone again
Thanks.
