save | a JOE JONAS oneshot | me

Pitiful. What was she doing? Did she actually think that he wanted to be with her? After everything she's been through he was willing to just shoot out a few words and call their friendship a fake. It was all her fault. She had immediately thought they were friends when he said that he wanted to help her. What was wrong with her? Why was it that when a guy said he found some interest in her she went weak at the knees? Stacie had never been on the receiving end of a crush, unlike her friend, Stephanie, who was always the crusher never the crushee. Stephanie, with her dark brown hair, big green eyes, and exotic accent always got the guys that Stacie wanted. If she was interested in someone it was Stephanie that was liked by them and not Stacie, so when he showed some feeling toward her she gobbled it all up. She fell for his every word.
She ran her bloody hand through her now damp hair. The water in the bathtub had been running for over an hour. What for? She didn't know. The noise outside was non-stop. From the band that played to the people banging on the bathroom door to be let it. If they didn't have an emergency they could hold it. She sniffled and pushed herself off of the crimson, sticky floor. It was covered in her blood as well as the water that spilled from the over filled tub. Her legs trembled from the lose of blood from her body. She held on to the wall next to her and caught the reflection of herself in the mirror.
It was like a horror film. Her wavy, light brown hair looked damp from all the blood and it felt sticky to the touch. All the make up she had previously put on to cover up any blemishes was washed off by the tears only to be replaced with blood. The outfit she had bought from the mall with Stephanie was completely soaked. With her blood. The slits in her arms were beginning to form into welts. She bit down on her sore lips. The ones she had been biting since the incident..
He had just yelled at her like it was nothing. His brothers, Nick and Kevin, sat back and watched. Nick watched as her face fell from angry to frustrated and then finally to heartbroken. On the other, Kevin looked like he was enjoying the show. Around all of her 'friends'. The ones she had made after everyone found out about her 'relationship' with Joe Jonas. Hottie with a voice, was what Stephanie had called him. She wasn't at all interested in him, just scanning.
Stacie had been friends with him since he had first come to Philadelphia two years ago. What he was there for -she never found out- but he was the first one who knew about her cutting, back then. She had never been open to anyone since him. He helped her stop. He helped her learn to become more open , but now it was all down the drain. Because the minute she realized that she loved him, she was done. Over the period of time that they were together she learned a lot about him. The good. The bad. And the ugly. All the things she learned about him was quickly forgotten the minute he said those words.
She took in a small, sharp breath. Her head felt like it was being pushed down by a giant rock. She got this surge of pain every time the volume of the music got to loud for the speakers. Yes, just outside the bathroom door there was a party and not to mention the huge crowd in front of the bathroom wanting to get in. The pain from her headache was becoming to much for her to handle. The lost of blood was making her legs weak. When she couldn't hold herself up any longer her legs gave out. She let her hands slip away from the sink. Her body fell back and there was nothing she could do about it. She was weak.
"Stacie!"
There was a knock on the door. Followed by a sequence of noise. A few people yelling, music playing, and then of course-him.
"Open the door!"
She didn't answer. She didn't get up. She just didn't move. There was nothing she could do. A mix of emotions began to build up in her. Sadness, anger, regret, fear, pain, and nervousness. What did he want? What if he saw her? Like this? She couldn't bare for him to see her like this monster destroying her body to release all of her feelings. Stacie glanced at the door before letting her eyes travel around the room. The water from the bathtub was now covering the floor inch by inch, and the blood was beginning to mix with it giving the white, marble floor a pink tinge. Shards of glass, from the mirror she had smashed , was scattered around making it hard to move around on her hands.
"Stacie! Listen to me! I know your in there! Open the door!"
She ignored him. The bathroom was a mess. She had to clean it, but in the condition she was in, it was impossible. Trembling, she got up on her hands and knees. The sound of the glass tearing into the palms of her hands were deafening. She bit down on her sore bottom lip, drawing blood. The iron taste filled her mouth mixing in with the tinge of bile from hours before. For a second, she blacked out before regaining her ability to see.
He was still there. Pounding on the door with his fists. It's not like she mattered to him anyway. He made it pretty clear that he didn't want to see her face. Much less her blood. What did he want from her? Did he finally realize how rude he had been to her? Pointing his finger at her and laughing in her face. Letting her know that she was some suicidal freak. Just the memory of it all made her want to cry some more.
Stacie had never gotten so emotional over something like this, because, well, something like this had never really happened to her. Never had she been so trusting only to let some boy step all over her. Her throat was beginning to close up. The fight in her head was beginning. Should she open the door?
"Stacie, please!"
She put one hand out in front of her hoping that her body would cooperate and bring her knee forward. When it did, she took in a small breath only to have it caught in the back of her throat. The fight was getting louder. Over powering the music. She yelped and pushed her body up to sit on her legs. Grasping her head between her bloody hands, she whimpered. She wanted everything to just stop.
His pounding on the door was even louder. The fighting, the music, the calling. It was all getting to loud. Her ears felt like they were going to resemble a train's engine. The smoke flowing out slowly. Her face twisted up in pain as she pulled on her ears like a baby with an ear infection. With all this noise, she hadn't noticed the door opening behind her.
"What did you do?"
She gasped. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She felt him walk in and slam the door causing her to jump quickly. His footsteps were heavy, but silently. Please, she thought, just leave me alone. The pieces of glass crunched under his feet and the water made a small plunk. Her jaw clench tightly.
"Stacie?"
His voice sounded almost caring, but she wasn't about to let him pull her in. She didn't know why he even wanted to be in here. The two voices inside her head were debating again. Should she answer him or just stay quiet? Her ears were getting that same surge of pain that her head was receiving and his booming voice wasn't helping. He kneeled down beside her, but she didn't look up. She only kept her hands over her ears, pulling at them.
"I thought we stopped this, Stacie. Why'd you do this again?"
Her eyebrows furrowed together. He thought she did this one purpose. She did stop and he helped her do that, but who knew that the very person who helped her stop would make her start. She wanted to speak up for herself. Let him know that she hadn't down this on purpose. That it was all an accident ,but it wasn't that easy. He wouldn't believe her. All the evidence was in the room surrounding the both of them.
"After everything, you went and did this again. Why? Why put yourself through this again? And at a party? A party that you knew I would be playing at. I brought you here as my date, but I didn't think that this party would bring you down like this. Come-"
"Stop!"
She looked up at him and glared. Tears had begun to form in her eyes, yet again. He was blaming this on her. As if what he said just a few hours ago didn't count as a possible cause of all this. The disaster that went on in this bathroom was all his fault. He drove her to doing this. In a fit of rage she did all of this. The bonus was all the relief she felt from the glass piercing into her skin.
He looked at her, surprised. He expected her to stay quiet just like she always had been. Quiet. She was always the girl in the corner. The girl who covered her body up to hide the scars on her arms, but this girl was loud and angry. As they looked at each other the noise outside the door began to disappear and all of the sadness and nervousness began to go away.
"You may have brought me here as your date, but you didn't treat me like one. I was treated like dirt in front of my friends. Everything is always my fault, but what about you? What did you do? Nothing, right? Your innocent! Every day, all the time, huh? I though me and you were friends and that together we would beat all of this crap, but you've proved to me that your just in it so that you could pick someone up and then drop them just when they're back to being themselves. You've seen me the way I was before my cutting, you took advantage of me, and then you left me out there as that- that freak again. I hate you!"
She was crying. Balling. The tears were falling freely from her eyes. In return, he began to soften up. His brown eyes dropped to the floor as well as his head, so that the only thing she could see through her glossy eyes was the top of his black haired head. She held back any more tears that threatened to fall from her eyes.
"I don't know if you noticed, but you've hurt me, Joe, and there's now nothing that can go wrong in my life, because I no longer have one."
She grasped a long piece of glass in her hand. It was her pass to freedom. A path to the only place she could ever feel alone and safe. The only- his lips grazed hers just barely. His hand was on the back of her neck, pulling her closer. She was taken back, but before she let her hands reach up and push him away, the kiss was over.
"I didn't mean to hurt you."
How could he say that? How could anyone say that they did not purposely mean to harm anyone? He made her cry, tore her up into little pieces, and threw her out to the dogs. Her mouth slide open just a bit to let a few words out, but not a sound was made. She had nothing to say to him. Yes, she was speechless. Stacie looked at him. Her head was in his warm hands, keeping her from moving her head. Eyes locked on him, her hands traveled to his wrists. One hand empty, the other holding the sharp blade of glass.
"Yeah?"
Her eyes glanced at his lips. She loved him, didn't she? If he never meant to hurt her then maybe he could see how much she could make him hurt. How much one little cut can change a life. She bit down on her lip and pulled him to her by his wrist. Their lips were just centimeters away from each other and in one swift movement they were connected. She wanted so bad to just give in, but that would only give him the satisfaction. She watched as his eyes closed only to let hers close as well.
The blade in her hand sat there waiting to be use. Should she? She should. Stacie grasped it in her hand, letting a small point stick out from between her middle and index finger. She felt his tongue graze her lips , but she didn't respond, instead, she let the blade of the shard come in contact with his skin. He hissed and pulled away from her. She licked her lips as she watched him grasp his right arm in his hand. Joe looked up at her. They looked into each other's eyes and she saw...relief. She watched as he licked his lip and looked down at his wrist. He let it go and she traced the cut. He had felt what she felt all her life. And he had liked it. He leaned in towards her and smirked while she looked at him unfazed by his reaction. He kissed her, softly, but she pulled away only to say,
"Welcome to my world."
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