Okay, Steph and Shelly should not be fed a bag of M&Ms, then put in a room together with a computer.
This story isn't serious, so don't think we're crazy. Well, scratch that. You're gonna think we're crazy, regardless. What I meant is... something.
Either way, yeah. Halo, your story sort of inspired one part on here. You'll know which part it is!
When you're done, you can rate/message/Cbox if you wanna...
Now I bring you... The Tanning Adventure!
Gerard tapped his foot impatiently, glancing at his watch. He pounded on the door again, yelling, "HURRY UP!"
"HOLD YOUR HORSES!" Steph shouted through the door.
"I HAVE NO HORSES!" Gerard bellowed back.
"THEN HOLD... SOMETHING ELSE!" Shelly told him. "And not in a perverted way, Steph!" she added, annoyed, as Stephanie burst out cackling insanely.
"Sorry, can't help it," Stephanie replied happily, not sounding altogether remorseful.
Finally, the door swung open, and Shelly and Stephanie stood there, glaring at Gerard.
"You still haven't even told us where we're going," Shelly reminded him.
"It's a surprise," he reminded her. "That means... I can't tell you."
She stuck her tongue out at him.
"All right, ladies, let's get moving," said Stephanie, pushing Michelle out to the car.
"Wait... I'm not a lady," Gerard whined.
"Yes you are. You like to dress in drag and you kiss guys," Stephanie said, ignoring Gerard's protests at her comments, shoving him into his own car and taking shotgun.
"Hey... I want shotgun," Michelle complained.
"Too bad!" said Steph in a singsong voice. "Floor it, Geeeeeerard!"
"Never say that ever again," MCR's lead singer told her as he reluctantly obeyed.
"Say what? Geeeeeerard?" Stephanie asked innocently.
"Yes," he replied tersely, falling into that age-old trap.
"Yes? Say it?" Stephanie said brightly.
"Wait - no!"
But it was too late. "Geeeeeerard, Geeeeeerard, Geeeeeerard!" Steph sang, to the tune of It's A Small World.
Gerard gave up and hit the brakes to snap Stephanie back in her seat.
"...Owww..." said Shelly from the backseat. "...Don't..."
Steph laughed.
Gerard began to drive again, and Stephanie and Shelly sang loudly and off-key, songs that popped randomly into their heads.
It was sometime during The Emo Song that Gerard finally sighed and parked the car.
"What are we doing here?" asked Stephanie curiously, leaning out the window. "All I see are houses."
"That might be because... I'm lost," Gerard muttered.
Shelly and Steph cackled.
"Shut up!" he whined.
"Noooo!" they chorused. Then they cackled some more.
"Gerard is lost!"
"Haha! Loser!"
"I must be lo-ost!" sang Steph, to the tune of The Emo Song.
"Hush," said Gerard.
"But that wouldn't be fun," Shelly protested.
Gerard was shuffling around with a map, trying (and failing) to get it open.
"Aww... can't wittle Gee-wawd handle the map?" cooed Shelly in her baby-talk voice. Steph laughed, rocking back and forth.
"It wasn't that funny," Gerard told her, watching as Steph smashed her head spectacularly against the headrest.
"No... but I like laughing," she said brightly.
"It's healthy!" piped up Shelly from the backseat. "It's scientiflically proven that you live longer if you laugh."
" 'Scientiflically'?" echoed Gerard and Steph simultaneously.
"Yep. It sounds so smaritudey, doesn't it?" Shelly asked happily.
"Uh... sure..." said Steph uncertainly as Gerard wrestled the map open and began tracing his finger along it, muttering under his breath.
"Ah-HA!" he finally crowed in triumph.
"Find us?" asked Shelly.
"We're right here. Duh," said Stephanie, rolling her eyes.
"All righty," said Gerard. "Our destination is about seventy miles... thataway." He pointed behind them.
"SEVENTY MILES?!" yelped the girls.
"Yup yup."
"Jeez... This had better be good," said Shelly with a pout.
"Believe me... it will be."
So Gerard drove again, and Shelly and Steph took up The Emo Song once more, until finally Gerard began shrieking on the top of his lungs to drown them out. This, naturally, spurred them to sing louder, and they were soon pulled over by a cop, wondering if they were strangling geese in their car.
"No, we were just singing The Emo Song," Steph said brightly.
"Oh, that explains it," said the cop. "Well, carry on. Just keep the noise down a bit, okay guys?"
"Sure thing!" chimed Shelly.
Then Steph rolled up the window on the cop's nose, and Gerard sped off to the cop's loud swearing.
"I MUST BE E-MO!" screeched the girls, and Gerard sighed.
"Well... if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," he said heavily, and soon the three of them were wailing The Emo Song as loudly as they could.
Finally, he pulled up, and Steph and Shelly squealed.
"THE BEACH!" shouted Shelly.
"...Dude, you know I come to the beach a lot and I could've told you how to get here," Steph informed Gerard.
"But then it wouldn't have been a surprise," he whined.
"Yeah, but we would have gotten here before twelve thirty," she said. "You know we left like three hours ago."
"...Still."
Shelly got bored and jumped out of the car.
Steph and Gerard winced. "That's gotta hurt."
"Usually people open the door first," Gerard informed Shelly.
She rubbed the bruise blossoming on her face. "But I'm not like most people," she said in a muffled voice, through her fingers and nosebleed.
"Yeah, we figured that out," Steph said dryly. "One of the clues was when you threw yourself at the closed door."
"Should I start calling you Sherlock?"
"Nah, Steph works."
Meanwhile, Gerard had gotten bored, but he figured out that open doors are easier to get through.
"You guys coming or what?" he asked, sticking his head back in.
"Last one out is a rotten Churro!" yelped Shelly, throwing herself at the closed door again.
"You rotten Churro," Steph taunted, stepping neatly outside.
Gerard took pity and opened Shelly's door, and she staggered out. However, she quickly shook off her injuries and bounced ahead of the other two on her way to the beach.
Then she skidded to a stop, sending Gerard smashing into her and Stephanie smashing into him, and the three fell in a heap.
"SHELLY!" shouted Steph and Gerard.
"Heh heh... dogpile?" she suggested weakly.
When all limbs had been disentangled, the three then got to their feet again.
"Why were you stopping like that?" Gerard inquired, rubbing his backside.
Shelly cocked her head. "Uh... I forget."
Just then, a nearby car began blaring "Shoes".
Shelly and Steph squealed and jumped up and down.
"Um...?" Gerard trailed off questioningly, a bit concerned.
"THIS IS OUR JAM!" they told him, dancing.
Gerard rolled his eyes. He took each girl by the shoulder and dragged them down to the beach. Once they were out of range of the music, they calmed again.
"So... what now?" asked Shelly.
"We should, like, suntan!" Steph said excitedly.
"But... we don't have bathing suits," Shelly reminded.
"LET'S TAN NAKED!" Steph yelled happily.
"Um, let's not," said Gerard hastily.
"Sorry, Steph. I'm with our drag princess here," Shelly said apologetically.
"...Hey!" Gerard said.
"Then we could... go buy bathing suits?" Steph suggested.
Shelly slapped her forehead. "It took us way too long to think of that."
So they
"Dude, do you ever get in the sun?" asked Shelly, leaning against Steph for support.
"Yes," he growled. "I just don't go shirtless."
"Such a pity." The girls snickered.
"Hardy-har-har."
"Ew."
"Pervert!"
"You know you were thinking it!"
"Was not!"
Gerard sighed and walked back down to the water.
"We should steal towels," Steph suggested.
"Evil."
"You know it."
"We shouldn't steal," Gerard said, frowning. "That's not cool, man."
"Uh... yeah it is."
"Fine," huffed Shelly. She pulled her wallet out again. "Brat."
"No, I'm buying. I'm the rich rockstar," he protested.
"Okay!" said Shelly, quite chipper.
He frowned again.
"What? Did you expect me to complain or something?"
"True."
Soon, the three of them were spreading towels out. Gerard's was The Doom Patrol - his favorite superhero team.
Shelly and Steph were unsure of how he had managed to find that towel, since they hadn't even known The Doom Patrol existed prior to this purchase.
Stephanie's was totally pimpin' with Barbie, and Shelly had shocked and horrified the other two by getting a Barney towel.
"So... how do we do this?" asked Gerard awkwardly.
"We... lie down?"
"Don't we have sunscreen?"
Shelly slapped her forehead... again.
"We won't burn. We're magical," said Steph.
"Yeah. Right."
Ten minutes later, Gerard returned and chucked sunscreen bottles at the girls. Everyone gooped up, and then lay down on their backs.
After awhile, Shelly got bored, so she yelled, "ICE ICE BABY!"
"Da dum da da dum da da dum dum!"
Gerard silently endured the Vanilla Ice for some time before protesting.
"Will you shut up?"
They pouted, but obediently knocked off the VI.
Soon, Steph pitched in with, "DIRTY POP!"
"NSYNC?!" cried Gerard in dismay.
"You bet ya white be-hind," said Shelly evilly, and soon she and Steph were on an NSYNC rampage, which was soon followed by Britney Spears' "Stronger".
"Brit-NEY, yo!" said Gerard loudly, startling them into silence. He smirked at this triumph.
"Low, Gerard. Low."
They waited in silence for a bit, then Shelly yelled, "SO GIVE ME ALL YOUR POISON!"
Feeling this was more his ground, Gerard chimed in, "AND GIVE ME ALL YOUR PILLS!"
"GIVE ME ALL YOUR HOPELESS HEARTS AND MAKE ME ILL!"
Steph sighed, bored.
"What happened to Britney?" she whined.
"YOU'RE RUNNIN' AFTER SOMETHIN' THAT YOU'LL NEVER KILL!"
Steph got annoyed. "I'M A BARBIE GIRL!"
This got Shelly's attention, and soon they were wiggling and dancing lying down to this delightful song, while Gerard sighed, admitting defeat.
Soon, Shelly said slowly, "Shouldn't we, like, turn over or something?"
Steph swore, and they all propped themselves up and flipped over. And I don't know if you've ever tried, but singing while on your stomach is somewhat more difficult,
They passed the time in boredom. Shelly amused herself by waving at people that walked by, staring at her.
Soon, Steph sat up. "I think we're done," she announced.
"I can't tell," Shelly whined, poking her still-normal skin.
"It takes awhile to show up," Steph informed her.
"Then we can't just leave," Shelly said. "What if we aren't done? We have to wait for it to show up."
"Let's play in the water!" Gerard suggested eagerly.
"Yeah!"
They hid their towels cleverly in the middle of the beach then raced down to the water. They splashed in, frightening young children.
Then they all ran back out again, yelping because it was freezing cold.
"YOUR STUPID CALIFORNIA WATER IS COLD!" Gerard complained, rubbing his arms briskly.
"Not our fault!" Shelly said snappishly. She was quite loyal to her California.
"Let's go in again!" Steph suggested.
They dashed in again.
They splashed about a bit. Some highlights were Gerard getting saltwater in his mouth (courtesy of the girls), Shelly almost drowning by Steph sitting on her, and Steph screaming that there was a shark and running out, sending Gerard and Shelly into hysterics as they saw the boy with the remote-control.
And then it happened.
They were all swimming about quite normally, when Steph leapt on Shelly. The other girl spluttered and spat out seawater. "Steph-a-nie-e!"
"I have a really awesome idea," Steph whispered loudly in her friend's ear.
"Uh-oh," Gerard commented as the brunette murmured secrets to the blonde. They're plotting, I just know it.
But there was really nothing he could do about it. He knew this from experience.
The girls broke apart, grinning evilly.
"What?" Gerard asked warily.
"What what?" asked Shelly innocently.
"Yeah..." Steph said, an exaggeratedly blank look on her face. "Angel." She made a halo over her head with her hands, and she fluttered her eyelashes.
Gerard was not falling for it.
The girls began to swim around again, and Gerard sighed, knowing their terrible plot would unfold when it did, and he couldn't hurry it along even if he wanted to.
He swam too, and he felt something like there was someone behind him. He spun around, and saw Steph high-tailing it for the sand.
Something hit him, and he slowly looked down, with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
She had taken his swimtrunks!
"STEPHANIE!" he shouted, swimming frantically to shore. However, just before the water got to shallower-than-waist level, he froze, realizing the implications.
He spun around, shooting Shelly a pleading look. But the blonde was at risk of drowning, because she was laughing so hard. She gasped for breath.
"You guys are evil," Gerard said, pouting. She swam shakily over to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She treaded water and slung an arm around his shoulder, although carefully not touching any part of his lower body.
"You should... come back out... to deeper water," she panted.
He looked out at Stephanie, who was dancing around, waving his swim-trunks and attracting many odd looks.
He swam back out with Shelly, who still got random fits of giggles as Steph started playing leapfrog with the swim trunks.
"What am I gonna do?" he asked mournfully. Then he blinked. "Is she tangoing with my...?"
Shelly grabbed his chin and made him look away as Steph clenched a branch of seaweed between her teeth in the place of a rose and resumed tangoing.
"I - don't think - you want - to watch." She was clearly suppressing laughter.
Gerard rubbed his chin. "I need to think of a plan." Then he sighed. "How come you guys are so much better at plotting than I am?"
"Because we're speshul," Shelly replied instantly, without missing a beat.
"You bet ya white be-hind," he said mockingly. She stuck her tongue out at him.
Gerard looked back at the beach while she was thus distracted and winced at the sight of Stephanie pulling on the swim trunks and doing somersaults.
Then, a metaphorical lightbulb went off over his head, and he took a deep breath, then dove.
When he re-emerged, Shelly was sobbing and pressing a hand against her eyes.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"I... saw... your butt!" she wailed. "I'm scarred for life, Gerard! SCARRED FOR LIFE, I say!"
"Oh, shut up," he said sourly.
Then, he took the seaweed he'd fetched and wrapped it around him like a skirt. Actually, it wasn't really big enough to be a skirt - it was more of a sash.
Then, came the Mad Dash.
Stephanie was taken completely by surprise (she'd been doing a conga line with invisible people) as Gerard bowled her over. He managed to bump and push her, still clutching the seaweed against his body, until she was back in the water. She had no choice as he shoved at her, and she grumblingly swam out to deeper water. He promptly pantsed her, and eagerly pulled on his swim trunks, sighing in satisfaction.
Soon, the three climbed out of the water, and Shelly yelped.
"What?" asked Gerard and Stephanie, turning to look at her.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I LOOKED LIKE A TOMATO?!" she screeched.
"I... didn't notice," said Steph, not bothering to hide the wide smile that was pushing across her face.
Indeed, Shelly's hue closely resembled a lobster, a brick house, or possibly even a shiny red wagon.
She pressed against her arm in horror, looking at the bright white circle it made before fading back to red.
Steph and Gerard, once they could move (once they weren't paralyzed by their laughter) raced to Shelly's side.
"Ow! Stop! Ow! STOP IT!" she cried, twisting in an effort to get away from them as they stabbed her with their fingers, giggling at the pretty colors it produced.
"Ge...rard... was... here..." Gerard wrote, squeaking with laughter as the words showed up and glowed whitely on her skin before fading back to their bright red.
"Kick... me..." Steph wrote gleefully.
"Not cool, guys," whined Shelly. However, that did not stop her from poking her leg in a kind of morbid fascination.
"What are you, a masochist?" demanded Gerard, snatching her hand away.
"Let's go back," complained Shelly, throwing a dark glare at the sun. "I hate you," she told it.
"Yeah," added Steph, snickering.
They piled into the car, with Shelly whimpering in pain every time her tender skin touched anything.
This time, Gerard and Stephanie sang to pass the time, with the occasional complaint from Shelly.
When they arrived back at Stephanie's and Shelly's house (which wasn't actually both of theirs, it was really just Shelly's. Stephanie was visiting), Gerard asked if he could stay the night.
"PERVERT!" yelled Shelly in Stephanie's face.
"I didn't say anything yet!" protested Steph.
"But you were thinking it!"
Gerard ignored them and climbed out of the car. "Open the door first, Shelly," he tossed over his shoulder.
"Oh, right. Thanks," she said, yanking open the door.
They all piled into the house. They collapsed on the couch (Shelly squeaked in pain), and fell asleep.
The next day, they awoke at around noon. Gerard was the first up. He disentangled himself, then yawned, rumpling his hair and stumbling out of the room. He ran face-first into the hall mirror and blinked thickly.
His high-pitched scream of terror woke the girls, and they raced out frantically to see him clutching his cheeks and screeching.
"What is it?" cried Stephanie.
"What's wrong?" asked Shelly.
"Are you okay?" they asked in stereo.
"I'M TAN!" he squeaked.
"Uh... that sometimes happens when you go suntanning," said Shelly sarcastically, while Steph took the time to admire her own tan.
"BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE TAN!" he shouted. "WHY DO YOU THINK I PUT ON ALL THAT WHITE MAKEUP?"
"Uh, question," said Stephanie, raising her hand.
"Stephanie," Shelly said primly.
"Yeah... Gerard, why didn't you think of this before we went sun-tanning?" she asked.
"I -" His mouth snapped closed. He flapped it, open, closed, open, closed, but no sound came out.
Shelly and Stephanie burst out laughing.
Just then, the doorbell rang, and they
They flung open the door (smashing Frank in the face) to expose the rest of the members of MCR.
"BOB!" squealed Stephanie, flinging herself out and glomping him. He patted her head awkwardly.
"Hi guys!" chirped Shelly. "Whatcha here for?"
"We've got a surprise," said Mikey happily. "Get ready to go - and be sure to bring your swimsuits!"
Results, anyone?
There it is! Was it funny? Do you wanna rate?
Thaaaanks!
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