This is What Happens... [1. When You Pee In Public]

God hates me.
At least I'm pretty sure of it.
I mean I wouldn't say, God hates me just because I can. No I'm pretty sure he/she really really hates me.
I say this because its true and my arch-enemy [since the third grade] is having a super slamming party next door and I'm not invited. Everyone else in the world [including all my friends] was invited but me.
So as I sit here up in my bedroom thinking of how I could sneak in with out one of his minions catching me.
I made a list of what I could do and what would go wrong with it.
A: Throw a Cherry Bomb into the pool to cause a distraction and I sneak in.
1: The Cherry Bomb could hit someone and blow their eye out or something thus ending the party and me going to jail.
B: Dress up as someone else.
2: I don't have that many clothes and no wig.
C: Just ask to be let in.
3: Get laughed at then thrown in the pool.
D: Demand to be let in or I'm calling the cops.
4: Get laughed at then thrown in the pool.
E: Beg.
5: I would never do. Too much pride.
And that is pretty much all I have. I'm a failure at making lists. I'm in fact just an all around failure at life. I cant even call my best friend because she is at the party next door. She's not a failure like me.
My Arch-Enemy voice rang out through the party with the help of a microphone. Probably saying something like: Only losers aren't at this awesome party!
I had a feeling he would be talking about me and that computer nerd that people are too scared to talk to. When Monday comes around I'm going to ask that computer nerd to be my friend. Since he is the only one that understands me! Me and my failure at life.
I'm going to get a LiveJournal and become an emo kid because I'm such a failure.
This is how I picture my first post will be:
Username: Failure.At.Life
Mood: Apathetic.
Subject: Introduction of my failure at life.
Hello world. My name is Lillian Porter. I'm seventeen years old and I found out I'm failure at life.
I mean Im pretty [enough]: Longish stylish brown hair that I take care of. Green/blue eyes that shine in the sunlight [not really]. Not as skinny as models but Im not anorexic or anything [122.3]! Tallish but not like giant basketball player tall. [5'7] I just don't want to be a failure at life anymore.
I figured out that I'm a failure when my best friend, Shannon Mayer, in the whole wide world came up to me and squealed, "OMG! LILLI IVE BEEN INVITED TO THE 'IT' PARTY OF THE YEAR!"
I was of course excited for her and asked her who was throwing the it party of the year. Then she yelled, "BRADEN RAMSEY!"
My dreams of going to the party died. Braden Ramsey hates me.
Ever since the third grade on a field trip to the Zoo. We were partners because we were best friends and the teacher knew that. It was on the bus on the way back to the school where it happened. I had drunk a lot of juice at lunch time and didn't get to go to the bathroom because Braden wanted to see the lion again before we left.
It was a bumpy ride and my bladder was weak so I went to get up and around Braden to tell the teacher I had to go to the bathroom really bad and I wet myself and Braden because I just couldn't hold it any longer.
We both cried and we made a pit stop to a gas station so we could be cleaned up. But back on the bus Braden told me, "I hate you Lillian Porter." And went and sat by someone else. I cried the whole way home.
And that is why I will never be invited to the it party if Braden or any of his friends were holding it. All because I couldn't hold my bladder in third grade.
Thus my failure at life.
That would be my first entry. I'm going to go set up my LiveJournal.
I rock. Simple as that.
Nothing in here. Yep.