Thursday
2:38 PM
school
My body is about to drop, so Jack literally holds me up as we exit through the high school doors, students pouring out. I'm so weak. I could probably bet anything that it's the pills that Jack's having me take, but I'm not about to tell him that. I slip away from his grasp, attempting to support myself, and Jack leans in for a kiss. I give in, tasting his lips against mine, so fragile and trembling. "I've gotta go," he says right after we part, and he kisses me on the cheek, one last time, before darting in the other direction. I watch him go, and in the distance, I catch a glimpse of a beautiful head of black hair. That heavy head that holds that heavy heart, whose hands are holding his beautiful girlfriend's. I shut my eyes tightly, standing alone while all the other students eagerly filter out.
I just can't look; it's killing me.
And I feel a body jump on top of mine, making me gasp and bite my tongue hard. I whimper and accidentally drop William onto the grass, but he is quick to get back up. He's grinning ear to ear, and I can tell he's got news for me. It's the weekly report with William Beckett, and this one's going to be good.
"Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, come on, let's go, let's go get coffee-"
He grabs my hand and begins skipping away, dragging me with him. And he keeps talking, but his voice drowns into the cold, cold, winter air. I look over my shoulder back at Brendon one last time, and this time he and Darcy Kinsley are exchanging eskimo kisses, her heel popped, grins on both their adorable faces. And I swear, for a millisecond, Brendon's eyes flicker in my direction. But it's probably either just my ego or my hopeful heart. William stops ranting and walking.
"You know," he says much more serious, "if you could let me tell you my good news for about two minutes, then we can move onto your misery for the next half hour."
I suck my teeth and start walking again, averting my attention back to William. "Sorry."
We begin walking off the school grounds, toward the Atlantic Coffee Shop, still hand-in-hand. "So what is it? Did you nail all your songs for tomorrow night?" I ask.
"Yes, I did, thank God!" he cries happily. "But that's not even it!" He squeezes my hand before squeeling, "I kissed Travis!"
I smile and look in William's bright eyes, so brilliant and happy in the sunlight. He's like a schoolgirl. Just as happy as can be. And when William's happy, I can't help but be affected by it. Nobody can.
"That's awesome," I say truthfully.
"You're coming tomorrow, right?" William asks quickly, almost cutting me off, and he looks me straight in the face, his eyebrows worried and hopeful.
I grin. "You know I always come opening night." And I crane my neck to peck William on the lips. Then I laugh awkwardly. "I probably shouldn't do that anymore, huh?"
He shrugs modestly. "Yeah, but...I can't say I won't miss it."
And with that I just smile and stare down at the sidewalk, caressing my thumb over the skin of William's hand, taking in the winter that was falling all around us. The weather is getting gloomier and gloomier, but somehow I now feel more inspired, like maybe I don't need Brendon. I can move on. To someone better than him. Better than Jack. Better than any of them. Don't I deserve that by now? But I remember Brendon's eyes and oh, how they would glitter in this sunlight... And his skin would just seem to fade, as if we'd stepped into an old watercolor movie, and his face is lit up on the screen.
Brendon is probably thinking these exact thoughts about Darcy right now.
So I exhale confidently. "William, I'm done with Brendon. And Jack, too. I can do better than both of them."
William smirks. "Of course you can, Ryan. You're drop dead gorgeous. You're smart. You're fucking irresistable. What you need is someone that can fucking realize that."
The sun sinks and hides behind a heavy winter cloud, and the sidewalks are dark under the clouds and overhanging trees, all lost of their leaves. I frown. "Brendon did, William. He just..." I pause, searching for another excuse in my mind. "He didn't want to embrace it the same way I did."
I feel William pull my arm into the street, and we run across it to the other side, toward Atlantic Coffee. William's smirk has remained the whole time I was speaking. "That sounds more like the new Brendon than the old, to me." He reaches for the door handle with his free hand, but the door doesn't swing. William stares at the glass, confused, and we finally notice at the same time, a sign that says Closed due to remodeling. Come visit us after the holidays!
"Fuck," William mutters. "I need something to keep me awake while I practice tonight... There's a Starbucks around the corner..." he says in half-question, half-statement. "I know you don't like it..." He pouts. "I'll pay for you?"
I smile tiredly. "You always pay for me anyway. And it's not that I don't like Starbucks... It tastes pretty good, it's just that it's so commercial, so...conventional."
William laughs a little, and begins leading me away from the Atlantic Coffee Shop. "Maybe that's what it's all about, Ryan," he says in a sly voice. "Giving in to what you like."
-->
Thanks for reading, again :)
RATE. Please<3
